Femme friendships

[La Lioness Priyanka]

I was at a dinner yesterday with a bunch of friends when someone raised this question: butch girls have close butch friends and femme friends, but very few femmes have other close femme friends

I know that i have butch female friends, gay boy friends, straight female friends but i don't have any close femme friend.

So, for those of you who are femme identified, do you have many femme friends? if so, how did your friendship start? And if you don't, why is that?


(i have to go do a final, but i'll come check in on this later. wasn't sure where to post it, here or in the lgbt forum)

pri

[WingDinger]

1. Are butch and femme, attempts to approximate hetero gender, or the natural order of pairings?

And is there any utility to ending them? As is the goal of gender identity in general?

I personally try to shun affectations of any sort.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. no. they are different gender expressions. why would you want to end them?

who are you to end someone's expression of gender?

also, what does this have to do with what i posted?

[WingDinger]

3. There certainly is a thrust to end male gender strictures.

Which seems to identify with the butch designation.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. really? how so?

[WingDinger]

5. WE talk about it in the Feminist and LGBT forums endlessly.

Breaking down gender walls, is a primary goal of discussion.


If Gays etc were free to be, would they still choose to don affectations? Be they gender or other?

All the gays I have known, were neither butch, nor femme.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. what do you mean breaking down gender walls though? an enforced androgyny?

i am not sure what you mean?

do you seem being butch as an affectation?

[WingDinger]

7. Speaking personally, I am both femme, and butch, at times

And would hate to be limited to only things either. In fact, I fought long and hard to allow myself that luxury. Sure I was butch, when I beat the many asses that would limit me to only butch. And, it seems there is some kind of gender enforcement, amongst gays, as you allude to exclusion of femmes, from butch circles. Is this not analogous to those pricks, that thought I should endure pain, till I acted the part they enforced?

The gender affectations of Gays etc, if they are ingrained, would seem to represent some kind of hormone soup, that we are enslaved to. Be we gay or straight. Or, they are helpful, in some capacity, for identification of potential mates, or safety. And chosen. I know why men choose macho. Not as sure why women would choose feminine. As tomboy is still and always has been acceptable.

Are gay etc gender approximations ingrained? Or adopted? Are they to still be useful, when noone gives a shit if you are gay? Or are they useful in some evolutionary, or societal way?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. actually i was not alluding to femme exclusion from butch circles

since women, can be both femme and butch, would that not really mean that there are many ways to express gender? rather than an enslavement to hormones?

i was literally talking about femme friendships, which i seem not to have

[WingDinger]

9. I guess the million dollar question is why?