Working women hate themselves

[Vietnameravet]

Well that is what some clown on Fox news says..in fact this guy is a psychiatrist



http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/04/14/fox-news-contributor-says-working-moms-hate-themselves/

“These “anti-gender” women have it in for anyone who embraces her femininity, maternal instincts and capacity to nurture as their highest priority — postponing or passing up other laudable opportunities to work at, say, a law firm or as a marketing executive. They despise the notion that some women may indeed be drawn — instinctively and happily — toward creating special and loving environments in which to raise their children, while spending all their available time sustaining and enriching those environments and those children.

They despise the parts of themselves that may be drawn to such roles, as well. That’s why women like Hilary Rosen make such outlandish statements, to begin with. They’re essentially talking to themselves — albeit, with the rest of the world forced to listen — trying to reassure themselves that their own choices in life weren’t only equally as good as those of other women, but better. Far, far better. They feel like their choices are better because they have thrown off the shackles of roles that were once “expected” of them, leaving them not only freer than, but superior to, those women who don’t feel enslaved at home, but feel fulfilled at home.”

Seriously, can we allow the party that endorses these kinds of views to become the dominant political party of the United States??

[seabeyond]

1. i confuse me so. i made the choice (and lucky we could afford) to be a stay at home

with my kids and create a easy, mellow, well run home environment. i see it as a job the same as the two decades i was in the work force. i do not feel less nor apologetic and i do not feel that makes me any different than “These “anti-gender” women have it in for anyone who embraces her femininity, maternal instincts and capacity to nurture as their highest priority" . though i do not see choosing this life to havce a FUCKIN THING to do with this damn bullshit "feminity" and find that offensive as hell. my job description does not have "feminity" any more or less in it as a stay at home or when i worked for two fuckin decades.

so... i am one of "these women" while also being one of "those women", hence the confusion.

is this some fuckin man saying this cause that will escalate my mad times 10. men need to shut the fuck up telling women who they are and what they are suppose to be.

[renie408]

2. Sing it, sister!! n/t

[roguevalley]

10. don't you just love MEN telling women ... anything?

[MichiganVote]

3. For the last fucking time-women who are employed provide nurture to their children.

Not worth arguing with. Another male psychiatrist with a GOD complex.

[abelenkpe]

4. No we can't.

So in this persons mind it's an all or nothing choice? Some women choose work and others choose to be stay at home mothers? Because I'm pretty sure most mothers have to work in order to provide for their kids in today's economy.

I'm a working mother. I happen to have a job I love and enjoy but it's not like I can afford to quit it and stay home. There is no way I'd vote republican with their obvious disdain and views on working women.

What I don't get is the attitude that working mothers are somehow abandoning their kids. We don't stop being mothers or get out of parenting duties by going to work. We still take our kids to the doctors when they get sick, stay up all night with them when they aren't feeling well, change diapers, help with homework, make all their meals, play with them, take them to the park, on playmates, to practice and dance lessons, make clothes for their dolls, bake cookies, etc etc etc. We just do all that AND work. Because without the paycheck none of the rest of that stuff happens at all. So I just don't get why the right doesn't support equal pay for equal work and still views women as if we lived in a past century.

[HockeyMom]

5. My husband works for a software company started by 2 women

They are sisters, married, and both now have grown children and grandchildren. They are multi-millionaires. They hate themselves? Oh, I really doubt that. They, and their husbands and kids, seem very happy too.

BTW, I was told that when the kids were very young their HUSBANDS stayed home with the kids. Daddies can't nuture, cook, etc.? Both these women have now been married 30+ years.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

6. He didn't mention conservative men that want wives to support them.

My sister was married to a conservative, antisocial guy who told her that they should put his salary in the bank for savings and live off her earnings. And on the weekends she worked in the yard. He did not like intelligent women. He hated them. One time I was at her house when she was married to this guy and our old friend Ruth came over. Ruth was an attorney and a graduate of Rice University. He was so steamed he went in the den and pouted. He refused to talk to the guest.

Also, I was married to a conservative guy that wanted me to work and support him, so he could put his money in the bank. He thought I was supposed to magically be in two places at once ---work and take care of the baby too. He thought I did everything I did just to piss him off, he was so self-centered. I eventually told him I would do whatever I damn well pleased, because he did not like anything I did anyway.

He was also very much anti-children and wanted me to get an abortion, no questions asked, when I accidentally got pregnant, after we were married. Since it's about choice, I refused to get an abortion. I told him that thousands of couples would give everything they own to have a healthy child, but he is selfish. He really ruined what should have been a happy moment for me.

I was happy, he had a bad attitude. He had good insurance and a good job. He said we could not afford it and that was bullshit. He wanted to put off having kids until I was too old to have one. Problem solved. I refused to do that. So in order to punish me for having a beautiful, healthy child, he got custody of the child and I had to pay child support to him until she graduated from high school. He's a narcissist and they think of everything in terms of control and punishing people.

All he thinks about is money. A lot of conservative men want women to get abortions because children are an annoyance to them and children cost money. All they think about is money. I suspect a lot of conservative men force women to get abortions because they are control freaks, and they are not really anti-abortion. Only when it's convenient for them.

[progressivebydesign]

7. what that fucking dinosaur doesn't realize is that NOW women have created a better model.

I know so many women who have both. They have been able to create a loving home environment with their family, but have found a way to have a cottage industry from home. Whether they're baking, or selling things at a farmer's market, or creating products to sell on etsy, etc. The new "feminine" model that he is unaware of, values both . He doesn't get out much, does he?

[ProfessionalLeftist]

8. What a convenient argument. Like the one where they claim raped women don't get pregnant.

I don't think these guys believe their horse shit propaganda. They just find it useful and fitting for their "cause" - controlling women and ramming them back in the home barefoot and pregnant. And it riles up their fellow misogynists. Maybe it's a male bonding thing. What a bunch of knuckle-draggers. Pfft.

[Kber]

9. I don't hate myself

but I will admit to being conflicted for sure. Every working parent is.

I'm a a corporate VP (OK - was promoted to VP about 2 days ago, but still) and I have 2 kids. My husband also owns his own successful business and we both work pretty hard. Are there days when I lean toward hanging it up and figuring out how to live off of one income - absolutely there are. I know it would be easier for us than for many others. For example, the past two weeks are the "dead period" between the end of summer camp and the beginning of school and it's an annual struggle for us.

At different times in our 20 year relationship either my husband or I have been a stay at home parent (probably about 50% of the time we've had kids total) and I've cherished every moment.

However, I actually really like my job, I'm good at it, and I'm both appreciated and rewarded. Right now the kids are both in a great place. I am grateful that we are blessed that, should that change, we have the flexibility to make career changes to address it. Honestly, based on the income we earn, I'd probably be the "go to work" parent while my DH stayed home, but my husband is a really great father and I trust him absolutely with the primary care giver role.

What this article doesn't acknowledge is that my DH is just and conflicted as I am. He wants to be a "quantity" parent as well as a "quality" parent as much as I do. He's absolutely never assumed that, just because I'm the one with the uterus, that I get to stay home on snow or sick days. It's averaged out to 50/50 so far and so far so good.

The other thing this article doesn't address is that different people are better parents at different stages of their child's development. Between the two of us, DH is GREAT at the 4 - 10 year old range. I excel at "terrible twos" and teenager-hood. I find the former a bit boring and DH finds the later frustrating, while I think those stages of development are the most exciting and interesting there are. It takes at least a village and if Dad doesn't kick in, the kids will not get the best parenting possible. If Mom is home all the time, Dad doesn't (or can't) contribute when he and the kids need it most.

My kids benefit from having a good father who had been involved in their lives at crucial times. If I were home 100% of the time that wouldn't be the case as much as it is, no matter what he wanted.

It this right for everyone - certainly not. But it's right for us.

[IndyJones]

11. Anytime a man pretends to speak for women or pretends to know what is in our hearts

and minds because he claims he is an expert, you can be guaranteed whatever he says is bullshit. We women can speak for ourselves.

[Jennicut]

12. I immensely dislike women being told what is "best for them".

I stayed home for a little while with my two daughters but eventually I am back to work, although not full time. My daughters are also only a year and a month apart so it was harder to go back to work right away. It should always be a choice. Liberals and Dems are for women dictating for themselves what they want to do with their lives. I know lots of full time working Moms and they do not hate themselves nor has anyone ever looked down on me for staying home for the first few years. Stupid.

[davidn3600]

13. They want their 1950s fantasy household

They think it upsets the natural order of things when women have careers.