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Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:19 PM

Stay at home moms Do work harder than most, but Ann Romney did not

raise her 5 boys. The AuPair's did, so the question is, were these nannies legal? Did they have work visas? I am certain they were not of latin ancestry or African American, but Swedish or German? The rest of the family was hiding out in Mexico, tax evading, so who did Ann have raising her kids?

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Reply Stay at home moms Do work harder than most, but Ann Romney did not (Original post)
larkrake Apr 2012 OP
elleng Apr 2012 #1
larkrake Apr 2012 #4
LiberalFighter Apr 2012 #13
Arkansas Granny Apr 2012 #2
GermanDem Apr 2012 #3
larkrake Apr 2012 #5
hedgehog Apr 2012 #6
LiberalFighter Apr 2012 #15
hedgehog Apr 2012 #16
denem Apr 2012 #7
Retrograde Apr 2012 #19
Proud Liberal Dem Apr 2012 #8
denem Apr 2012 #10
fugop Apr 2012 #17
Proud Liberal Dem Apr 2012 #18
FrenchieCat Apr 2012 #9
denem Apr 2012 #11
The empressof all Apr 2012 #12
abelenkpe Apr 2012 #14
geek_sabre Apr 2012 #20

Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:24 PM

1. I don't like this discussion AT ALL,

but everyone should keep in mind that Ann Romney has MS!

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Response to elleng (Reply #1)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:32 PM

4. She is said to have MS, and it is unfortunate, but she has put herself

onto the stage, and has said absurd untrue things so is a justified target. It is her job to convince women her husband is for womens rights, when in truth, his religion, of which he is clergy, states that women have no business out of the home. Further, he has supported anti women laws and propositions and she said "its alright, ladies, really".

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Response to elleng (Reply #1)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:24 PM

13. I checked that out and I think her even having it would not matter

She is said to have MS diagnosed in 1998.

Her sons were 17, 20, 23, 27, and 28 at the time.

Not exactly children in need of care. Unless any of them had serious medical condition needing parental or other care. IMO

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:29 PM

2. SAH moms do work hard, no doubt, but not harder than most.

Try being a single working parent and get back to me. You not only have that full time job thingie, you still have all of the SAH mom chores to contend with when you get home. There are still meals to prepare, laundry to do, housecleaning and all the other things that SAH moms do, not to mention spending some time with the kids.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:31 PM

3. I think the discussion is legitimate.

There is no doubt about the fact that stay-at-home moms work hard (been there, done it myself). But I doubt that Ann Romney had to do all the domestic housework that middle-class stay-at-home moms have to do on top of raising the kids, like cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc. So I think stay-at-home moms shouldn't feel offended, because we all know they do all this work (and Ann Romney didn't). To question where the nannies came from, that's a totally different, unrelated discussion imho.

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Response to GermanDem (Reply #3)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:38 PM

5. Which is why I placed this in Politics 2012. It isnt where they came from

but the question- were they legal at the time.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:43 PM

6. What is rarely mentioned is that for most stay at home moms there

is the constant stress of making sure all the bills get paid on a single income. We all make choices, and whether we are stay at home moms or working mothers, we give something up.

I was a stay at home mom until my youngest entered kindergarten. I was able to do a lot of things for and with my older children, but there was the stress of worrying about whether the car would keep running or wondering if the washer could be fixed. When I went back to work, there was more cash but then there was the stress of not having the time to be there for the younger kids as I had been for their older siblings.


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Response to hedgehog (Reply #6)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:28 PM

15. I hope you weren't implying that Ann had stress from being a stay at home mom with the above issues.

I bet many would love to have the stress she has with trying to pay bills on a single income by directing their accountant which bills to pay and when.

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Response to LiberalFighter (Reply #15)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:41 PM

16. I meant exactly the opposite - that Ann

doesn't face what many (most?) stay at home moms face - the guilt that staying at home means that their family does without a lot of things.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:47 PM

7. This is a poisonous line of attack.

I have doubt the Obama Campaign will say that Romney's wife and kids are off limits. That's the line they took with Sarah Palin, and it's the right thing to do.

The last thing women need in these times to be divided up. Working Moms vs. Stay at Home Moms is a wedge. Drop it.

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Response to denem (Reply #7)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 04:21 PM

19. Whyt should they be off limits?

They're all adults: Romney even bragged that his sons were serving their country by working on his campaign, and Ann make public statements on his behalf.

Minor children, and relatives who are keeping out of the spotlight should have their privacy respected. Once the adults start actively working on the campaign their statements and actions are fair game.

I agree, though, that we should not condemn any group of women for their choices.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 01:54 PM

8. I have a problem

with people (not here) whom suggest that having one parent stay-at-home with the kids instead of working is a simple matter of foregoing expensive things like vacations and other "luxuries". From my perspective (please correct me if I'm wrong), being a stay-at-home requires either a very high income or EXTREMELY low expenses, neither of which are a very likely situation for most people even if they were to cut their household budget down to the bare bones- without vacations and other "luxuries". This is the biggest problem I have with people like the Romneys and Republicans in general. They only seem able and/or willing to respond to others through the prism of their own experiences and seem incapable and/or unwilling to see through other people's lives and experiences.

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Response to Proud Liberal Dem (Reply #8)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:04 PM

10. That is today's reality.

There are still wounds out there from earlier days of feminism when stay at home Moms were denigrated in some circles.

When women entered the work force in a big way, employer's held down wages, and house prices took off. Single incomes then became a luxury.

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Response to Proud Liberal Dem (Reply #8)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:54 PM

17. We (women) are still shooting ourselves in the foot

From my perspective (please correct me if I'm wrong), being a stay-at-home requires either a very high income or EXTREMELY low expenses, neither of which are a very likely situation for most people even if they were to cut their household budget down to the bare bones- without vacations and other "luxuries".


I'd agree that the choice to stay at home or work is never a simple matter - even when you're lucky enough to have it be a choice. But I would say that your two assumptions on what it takes to stay at home are indeed incorrect - or they're at least not absolute. My household has neither a high income nor low expenses. Our income is moderate, but ... it's enough. Not for grand vacations or a big house or furniture that's less than 15 years old (and was never that great to begin with!), but ... it's enough.

Why must it always be either/or when it comes to working moms and stay-at-home moms? This is why we (meaning we women) continue to be our own worst enemy. Instead of noting that we all make different choices, we always have to point to our choices as the "good" ones or the "noble" ones and denigrate others for their different choices. I see working moms looking down their noses at stay at home moms and doing the ol' "I work and then go home and work" dance. That's certainly true, and I admire those moms for their hard work, but I also see stay at home moms sniffing disdainfully and noting that they're trying to balance budgets, organize kids, take care of kids all day with no pay, no pay raises, no days off and no respect. That, too, is often true, and I admire those women for their hard work as well. Both sets are doing massively hard work, and to try and compare and compete to see who works hardest just distracts from the real point: that women should be able to make their own CHOICES. And why do we need to put each other's choices down instead of fighting for us to hold onto (or, for some, gain) the right to make such choices?

My choice works for me. In our situation, yes, we've had to forgo things - and I'm not talking about luxuries - for me to stay home, but we're finding a way to make it work because it was important to us. It doesn't make my choice a more valid one than anyone else's. But I hear friends all the time telling me they work harder than stay-at-home moms, forgetting that they happen to be talking to one. I make a big effort to never do that to working moms, because I respect their choice as much as I respect my own.

On the other hand, certainly there are a HUGE amount of families/moms who in no way can make such a choice, and that's where our focus should be, I think. For Ann Romney to try and hold herself up as some victim of anti-women sentiment or anti-stay-at-home mom sentiment while she lobbies for a man who has zero empathy for women - or, frankly, for non-millionaires - is just disgusting.

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Response to fugop (Reply #17)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 03:50 PM

18. Thanks for challenging my assumptions

I agree with everything you wrote 100%

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:04 PM

9. The point is that Ann Romney was fortunate enough to have had choices.....

The point is not what she chose to do with her life....

Meanwhile, the Republican Party are actively taking choices away from women.....

That's the only real point.....

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Response to FrenchieCat (Reply #9)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:06 PM

11. No, there is another point.

In earlier times, it was not such a luxury to be a stay at home mom. And in earlier times, those same women were denigrated in some circles. And that cultural memory lives on.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:14 PM

12. I was fortunate to have a choice to be a stay at home mom

Frankly, I enjoyed it more than any other job I ever had. I stayed home for three years. My regular household tasks that needed to be done even if I were working were done on a regular basis. I felt less stress as my days were my own so to speak. I controlled the calendar. I had an extra 40 hours a week to do what most moms have to squeeze into evenings and weekends. My daughter enjoyed our daily activities. Honestly it was a hell of a lot easier and more enjoyable than my regular health care management job. Of course, I only had one child. The financial sacrifice was manageable for us and I lived in a community with great parks, playgroups and coffee houses I don't think my personal experience was the norm but then again neither was Ann Romney's.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:25 PM

14. Really?

I am a working mother. I CANNOT afford to stay at home. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle, there is no way I could cut expenses to afford to make the decision to stay at home. Do I spend less time cleaning my house, cooking, paying bills, doing homework with my kids, playing with my kids, taking them to the doctors, staying up with them when they are sick, etc etc etc?
I don't begrudge parents who are able to afford to make the decision to have one parent stay home. They are just more fortunate than I. But I'm insulted that anyone would say stay at home moms work harder than most because I do their job and work full time. Try doing that and then get back to me.

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Response to larkrake (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 09:12 PM

20. Is there proof that she had nannies?

If so, provide a source.

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