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Sun Dec 30, 2012, 10:37 PM

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR CONSERVATIVES.

New Year's Resolutions for Conservatives.

1) Stop calling the Democratic Party the “Democrat” Party. In America it's legal to change your name, but not someone else's.
2) Stop believing everything Rush Limbaugh says.
3) Stop believing EVERYTHING Rush Limbaugh says.
4) Stop adding abortion to the Bible, and stop subtracting the Commandment about lying.
5) Stop adding the right to own weapons of mass destruction to the Constitution, and stop subtracting the part about promoting the general Welfare.
6) Go back to school. Suggested areas of study: History, Economics, Psychology, Probability Theory, Mathematics, Logical Thinking.
7) Lose weight!

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