Today, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio) released the following holiday letter to the American people:
Dear American People:
Itís Speaker Boehner here, writing my first and last ever holiday letter to you. Why am I doing this after all of these years, you might ask? Well, I wonít mince words. Iíve started drinking a little early this Christmas.
Yes, Iím sitting here in my man-cave, panelled in mahogany the color of me, doing a rack of Canadian Club shooters and smoking my way through a carton of Lucky Strikes as if they were the last Twinkies in creation. If my chief of staff knew that I was writing to you while I was this polluted, heíd shit a phone book. But guess what? I donít fucking care anymore.