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Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:43 AM

My teabagging sister in law has informed me..

President Obama will be bringing in UN troops to take our guns and force us to marry gay people...

Is there any sort of timetable for this? I might have to clear some time for it this weekend...

...I hope my new husband has bigger boobs than my wife...

94 replies, 8586 views

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Arrow 94 replies Author Time Post
Reply My teabagging sister in law has informed me.. (Original post)
jcgoldie Nov 2012 OP
gateley Nov 2012 #1
barnabas63 Nov 2012 #5
codjh9 Nov 2012 #27
Coyotl Nov 2012 #55
gkhouston Nov 2012 #92
ErikJ Nov 2012 #53
lefthandedlefty Nov 2012 #65
Mad-in-Mo Nov 2012 #83
barnabas63 Nov 2012 #2
Iris Nov 2012 #36
barnabas63 Nov 2012 #41
Moonwalk Nov 2012 #70
1StrongBlackMan Nov 2012 #3
Coyotl Nov 2012 #63
1StrongBlackMan Nov 2012 #87
Mojo2 Nov 2012 #4
vlyons Nov 2012 #81
FSogol Nov 2012 #6
Diclotican Nov 2012 #76
still_one Nov 2012 #7
codjh9 Nov 2012 #8
arcane1 Nov 2012 #15
Coyotl Nov 2012 #61
calico1 Nov 2012 #9
faithfulcitizen Nov 2012 #25
ffr Nov 2012 #10
renate Nov 2012 #33
GallopingGhost Nov 2012 #47
Moostache Nov 2012 #62
Mockingjay Nov 2012 #79
Dem2theMax Nov 2012 #90
mzteaze Nov 2012 #11
Lex Nov 2012 #12
arcane1 Nov 2012 #13
JHB Nov 2012 #24
faithfulcitizen Nov 2012 #14
Tutonic Nov 2012 #16
DrToast Nov 2012 #17
malexand Nov 2012 #18
central scrutinizer Nov 2012 #19
GallopingGhost Nov 2012 #44
ejbr Nov 2012 #50
Filibuster Harry Nov 2012 #20
JHB Nov 2012 #21
LiberalFighter Nov 2012 #22
Drale Nov 2012 #23
beac Nov 2012 #29
SheilaT Nov 2012 #60
Zoeisright Nov 2012 #26
Dem2TheCore Nov 2012 #28
calico1 Nov 2012 #31
JHB Nov 2012 #51
calico1 Nov 2012 #77
Berlin Expat Nov 2012 #58
Arugula Latte Nov 2012 #71
donqpublic Nov 2012 #30
VWolf Nov 2012 #32
and-justice-for-all Nov 2012 #34
temporary311 Nov 2012 #35
wishlist Nov 2012 #37
NewJeffCT Nov 2012 #38
ejbr Nov 2012 #39
calico1 Nov 2012 #42
ejbr Nov 2012 #46
pampango Nov 2012 #40
ismnotwasm Nov 2012 #43
workinclasszero Nov 2012 #45
BlueDemKev Nov 2012 #48
lillypaddle Nov 2012 #49
pnwmom Nov 2012 #52
Coyotl Nov 2012 #54
Janecita Nov 2012 #73
Coyotl Nov 2012 #84
Janecita Nov 2012 #86
Coyotl Nov 2012 #88
amuse bouche Nov 2012 #56
KevTucky Nov 2012 #57
catbyte Nov 2012 #59
Contrary1 Nov 2012 #64
Arugula Latte Nov 2012 #66
TahitiNut Nov 2012 #67
Debau2005 Nov 2012 #78
TahitiNut Nov 2012 #80
pansypoo53219 Nov 2012 #68
Bossy Monkey Nov 2012 #69
oldbanjo Nov 2012 #72
Caeser67 Nov 2012 #74
Smilo Nov 2012 #75
NICO9000 Nov 2012 #82
onecent Nov 2012 #85
Ilsa Nov 2012 #89
Tribetime Nov 2012 #91
Blue Owl Nov 2012 #93
Aerows Nov 2012 #94

Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:44 AM

1. Seriously, what will these people do when none of this stuff happens?

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Response to gateley (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:45 AM

5. I think they thrive on the "fear of....." more than anything.

Seems they like to be in a constant state of agitation and paranoia. Kind of sick, isn't it?

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Response to barnabas63 (Reply #5)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:07 AM

27. Sick and crazy! Yes, I know some Repubs who don't trust ANYONE, and think there's

some evil conspiracy behind just about everything, and - sadly to me - don't even think anyone actually ever does a 'good deed' for its own merit - they only do it to get something for themselves. That's a pretty sick way to look at the world.

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Response to codjh9 (Reply #27)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:18 PM

55. Maybe too many chemicals in the house cleaning closet?

Some people just need to clean the mind-altering chemicals out of the house and garage (and maybe the nightstand, yeah you Rush!).

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Response to barnabas63 (Reply #5)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:48 AM

92. Wasn't there some sort of study published in the last few years that said there's

a significant correlation between fearfulness and authoritarianism?

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Response to gateley (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:14 PM

53. Case in Point: Beck's Conspiracy theories-has even ONE come true?

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Response to gateley (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:34 PM

65. I guess they still got 12/21/12 to look forward to

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Response to gateley (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:23 PM

83. Prep for 12/21/12

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:44 AM

2. Is that before or after he enslaves all the white people???

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Response to barnabas63 (Reply #2)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:34 AM

36. He's so diabolical, his evil plan will somehow do it all in one fatal swoop!

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Response to Iris (Reply #36)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:44 AM

41. Damn! That is something!

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Response to barnabas63 (Reply #2)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:38 PM

70. It's right after he forces us all to convert to Islam, but before he enslaves the white people...

Obama's list is pretty long and requires a strict timetable. You don't want to leave the guns in white people's hands, for example, before you enslave them or marry them to gays. That just wouldn't work.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:44 AM

3. LOL ...

...I hope my new husband has bigger boobs than my wife...


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Response to 1StrongBlackMan (Reply #3)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:30 PM

63. Just hope he does dishes

Focus on what really matters in a relationship

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Response to Coyotl (Reply #63)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 03:55 PM

87. Loved that one, too ...

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:45 AM

4. Can you tell me

what they are smoking or drinking....they need to pass some to me....sounds like a trip

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Response to Mojo2 (Reply #4)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:19 PM

81. Naw, you don't want their shit

Just makes you have a baaaaddd trip.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:46 AM

6. I can't hear you....I think there's a black helicopter outside....

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Response to FSogol (Reply #6)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:44 PM

76. FSogol

FSogol

Hm, isen't UN helicopters white?

Diclotican

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:46 AM

7. actually tell you sister that agenda changed. and by the way, mention that we one by a mandate

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:46 AM

8. Those people are just about that crazy. I'll never understand where, or why, they come up

with this shit. The UN is a great example. What has the UN ever done that's 'BAD', AND, when has the UN ever tried to take over the US? When has any Democrat ever mentioned wanting the UN to take over the US? They're outta their f-ing minds.

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Response to codjh9 (Reply #8)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:54 AM

15. The UN can't even order lunch without US approval

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Response to codjh9 (Reply #8)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:25 PM

61. They are still passing along mid-Fifties, red-baiting memes in parts of America.

I once took my urban partner to Mexico and then to my Midwest home town, deep in the middle of nowhere far away from freeway. In our little county seat, she commented, "This is just like Mexico." From her urban perspective, they were equidistant. Rural America suffers from Fifty Years of Solitude, but the new media world and the new, connected generation are altering that landscape, abbreviating how far in the past their part of the country lurks as they switch from Clear Channel to clarity.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:47 AM

9. Good!

I could use a wife. I am tired of cleaning up after myself and cooking when I don't want to.

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Response to calico1 (Reply #9)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:05 AM

25. +1

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:47 AM

10. She stands united with the uninformed

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Response to ffr (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:30 AM

33. just think how close we came to having people like her be happy last night

whew.

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Response to ffr (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:58 AM

47. Every time I watch this video

I can't believe it all over again.

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Response to ffr (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:28 PM

62. That crazy white-haired skeleton scares me...but not 1/2 as much as the world scares her!

I picture her today as being in a fetal position, listening to Glenn Beck and worrying that black men are coming to take her away and make her have "teh gay"...its sad and the people that are praying on their fears should be (but won't) ashamed of themselves.

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Response to ffr (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:54 PM

79. Good grief...

These people need to see a shrink....they need shock therapy and a lobotomy. I hope to god they don't come anywhere near me, I'll baker act them for being mentally dangerous!!! We need more mental health care in this country!

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Response to ffr (Reply #10)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:43 AM

90. And here I thought having migraines hurt.

Watching over eight minutes of pure stupid, now my migraines seem like nothing.
Oh my God. What is WRONG with these people?

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:48 AM

11. Lol

Why do they all sound the same? Remember the lady from the Romney rally who said a drone follows her every time she leaves her house?

Mental illness is alive and under treated in this country without proper access to Obamacare. Believe that.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:51 AM

12. Also they will be replacing your Bible with the Koran, did you hear about that?

So full of ignorance and fear.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:52 AM

13. The timetable: it was supposed to happen in 2009, when they started this paranoid fantasy.

Ask her how much $$ she is willing to bet on her prediction

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Response to arcane1 (Reply #13)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:03 AM

24. No, it was supposed to happen in 1997 or 1998

The Big Dawg was supposed to invite blue-UN-helmeted Chinese troops.

Somehow, my Chinese vocabulary is still limited to "nihao" and some menu items.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:54 AM

14. looks a lot like Facebook! LOL!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:54 AM

16. Is sister in law Michelle Bachman?

Saw part re: new husband with big boobs and pictured Marcus.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:54 AM

17. I hope I get a good one

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:56 AM

18. Fear, ignorance, & racism are a dangerous combination...



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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:57 AM

19. If Rmoney had won, they would be taking all our gay people and forcing us to marry our guns, nfm

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Response to central scrutinizer (Reply #19)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:56 AM

44. LMFAO n/t

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Response to central scrutinizer (Reply #19)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 12:03 PM

50. Well, I would insist on one with a long barrel

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 10:59 AM

20. And she is QUALIFIED to vote???

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:00 AM

21. It'll happen in 1998. So I was assured in 1996, after the Democratic president won...

...a second term, despite it surely being the End Of America As We Know It.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:01 AM

22. That would make no sense in forcing anyone to marry

It is actually not in the US interest for people to marry as tax revenue is lost when folks marry.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:03 AM

23. Sounds fun

I don't have any guns and can we choose the gay person we are going to marry?

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Response to Drale (Reply #23)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:20 AM

29. I don't have any guns, so I will have to see of I can get two gay spouses instead or perhaps

they can billet some UN troops at my house.

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Response to beac (Reply #29)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:25 PM

60. I don't have any guns either.

What will happen when they come to take mine away, and I don't have any? Will they take my cat? All of my science-fiction novels?

Oh, the horror.

But maybe I'll get a better spouse than my first one.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:06 AM

26. Freak her out - agree with her!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:15 AM

28. Tell her that you received an email from Obama after the victory, it said

On February 1, 2013, UN troops will be coming door to door to confirm indoctrination. They will remove your bibles. They will provide you with a complimentary Koran. They will implant an RFID chip in your arm (it's painless) for tracking purposes. They will take your spouse and replace them with a same sex partner. They will confiscate all firearms. They will give you a reporting date, time and place for mandatory political training sessions.

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

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Response to Dem2TheCore (Reply #28)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:24 AM

31. I would tell her I got a catalog of suitable

partners for me and my spouse to choose from when the time comes for us to split because of the new law. I would tell her I am trying to decide between 3, can you come over and help me pick one? And I'd say, hubby has already picked out his partner.

If she has kids I would ask her if she has been assigned the gay indoctrination schools yet.

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Response to calico1 (Reply #31)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 12:08 PM

51. So she'll get binders full of women to choose from?

That'll make her feel right at home!

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Response to JHB (Reply #51)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:47 PM

77. Yes, and binders full of men for her hubby. n/t

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Response to Dem2TheCore (Reply #28)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:23 PM

58. Actually, better to tell the

sister-in-law that President Obama will be sworn in for his second term on a Qur'an, and that during his inauguration speech, he will announce that the USA shall be henceforth referred to as the "Islamic Caliphate of the United Muslim States" and that all non-Muslims will have to pay the jizya, at a rate of 80% of gross income (which will be eliminated once they convert to Islam and acknowledge the Prophet Muhammad (saas)).

Hehe.



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Response to Berlin Expat (Reply #58)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:38 PM

71. Will there be falafel and baklava?

Because, if so, I'm down with that.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:22 AM

30. Damn Funny

I hope your wife smacked you.

Please I mean no offense to anyone, but male boobs will never look as nice as female boobs, IMHO.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:24 AM

32. They get phased in

right after the forced lattes and abortions.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:31 AM

34. That is some serious paranoid delusion...LOL

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:32 AM

35. She forgot to mention the monthly mandatory abortions.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:35 AM

37. He's busy stealing trillions of dollars to pay off minority voters

I overhead this and other equally nutty accusations at a local diner this morning as right wingers came in and spouted off their nonsense while my husband and I struggled to restrain breaking into giddy laughter after celebrating most of the night.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:35 AM

38. don't forget these important things that will happen, too

1) Muslim re-education camps
2) Banning the Boy Scouts
3) Rich people will have their assets seized
4) White women will be forced to marry black men
5) God & the Bible will be banned

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:38 AM

39. Good!

Cuz as a gay man, I am having trouble finding a mate.

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Response to ejbr (Reply #39)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:45 AM

42. Oh I don't know about that...

Obama is evil.

He might force you to marry a woman.

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Response to calico1 (Reply #42)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:58 AM

46. If my mother can't do that

then neither can Obama!!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:43 AM

40. A small part of the right's "Six most paranoid fears for Obama’s second term"

With the election only days away, the radical right is bracing for what it believes could be an Obamapocalpyse

One Thousand Years of Darkness - “socialism or something much worse”
An Obama Dictatorship - unleash a“dictatorial full monty”; instant citizenship for all Third World immigrants; forced equalization of income; the end of fossil fuel production
Obama Will Take Away Our Gun Rights - Obama’s first term was nothing but a “conspiracy to ensure re-election by lulling gun owners to sleep.”
U.S. Will Be Enslaved by Globalists - make the U.S. a “vassal state to a globalist entity.”
U.N. Troops and Civil War - “Obama’s going to send in U.N. troops”
Hunted Down Like Dogs - “If re-elected, it’s gonna be war”; “We will be hunted down like dogs.”

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/04/six_most_paranoid_fears_for_obamas_second_term/

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:47 AM

43. So am I Gay or is my husband Gay?

Neither one of us need bigger anything that you very much.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 11:58 AM

45. We will always have the teabag/republican party

So the batshit insane have a place to hang out and scan the skies for black helicopters.

Fricken right wing whack-jobs!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 12:00 PM

48. Please place your in-law's unedited post here. I'd like to read it.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 12:03 PM

49. LOL

That's hysterical!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 12:09 PM

52. You just tell her

that straight people in the past have often unwittingly married gay people, in traditional marriages with closeted spoused like ex-Governor McGreevey and Senator Craig. The purpose of marriage equality is to let gay people marry each other.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:15 PM

54. You know all those Sandinistas that were en route in the 1980s under Reagan

Last edited Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:33 PM - Edit history (2)

Well, they just arrived in El Paso. Obama is hiring them cuz they're fellow scocialists. The UN Troops couldn't be trusted.

Saturday works. Just leave your guns on the porch overnight.

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Response to Coyotl (Reply #54)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:41 PM

73. You mean Sandinistas?

The Contras were Reagan's little anti communist army.

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Response to Janecita (Reply #73)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:30 PM

84. I guess that needs an edit, or

travel in Mexico long enough, and you become a socialist too!

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Response to Coyotl (Reply #84)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 03:46 PM

86. So true;-)

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Response to Janecita (Reply #86)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 03:57 PM

88. Welcome to DU

I'm on my new 2012 Profile, too many posts on the 1st one!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:18 PM

56. I'm sorry, but that is hilarious

I can't stop laughing

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:20 PM

57. Be sure to thank her for all those senate seats

Teabaggers, the gift that keeps on giving!!!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:23 PM

59. That will happen shortly after Obama confiscates all our guns & opens up FEMA re-education camps

Probably around Thanksgiving. After all, that's a long weekend for most of us. It will give us more time to pack.

Your sister is seriously that disturbed?!? My sympathies to you. Holidays must be a real chore...

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:30 PM

64. Delete...wrong place to respond.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:37 PM

66. Do we get to pick who we get gay married to? Or are we going to be on a lottery system?

I don't want to wind up with Patricia Heaton, Victoria Jackson or Phyllis Schlafly, ya know?

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:37 PM

67. I sure hope my new gay bride knows how to cook. I stink at it.


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Response to TahitiNut (Reply #67)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:48 PM

78. I was thinking the same thing

My husband cooks, I don't. So can I ask that my new wife have the ability to cook? Or can we not make requests?

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Response to Debau2005 (Reply #78)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:02 PM

80. Well, beggars can't be choosers, so I'll take what I can get.

When I (once upon a time) had a libido, it might've kicked me in the crotch and made some kind of difference. These days, the only oral sex I participate in is yelling "Fuck You" at the TV.

They say "gay' but don't say what gender ... so I'll just ASSume gay female. I suppose my libido would sure tolerate her extra-marital activities ... and I could watch.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:38 PM

68. i eagerly await

FEMA re-EDUCATION camps.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:38 PM

69. Teabagging acquaintance on FB says she's going to have to learn Chinese

I just let it ride, but seriously, you have to be pretty deluded to think Romney would be better than Obama in terms of kowtowing to the Chinese.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:38 PM

72. Obama will defend the right

of the poor and retired to protect themselves from the rich.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:42 PM

74. Lol

I guess I need to let my wife know that we're losing our .45's, but we're getting new lovers! WHOOOOOO!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 01:44 PM

75. But Bachmann married a gay - so doesn't that make it okay

I would like dibs on a handsome, hardworking, with a sense of humor, intelligent and loving gay please.

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:21 PM

82. Clinton was supposed to take the guns away in 1993

Still waitin'...

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 02:31 PM

85. lol lol...that made me laugh out loud...n/t

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Wed Nov 7, 2012, 07:55 PM

89. He's already had 4 years to do this.

Why wait until an "iffy" second term materializes? If I was i office and had some nefarious agenda, I'd do it right away!

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 01:46 AM

91. don't forget he pal's around with terrorists

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 08:41 AM

93. Don't forget the War on Christmas is just launching too

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Response to jcgoldie (Original post)

Thu Nov 8, 2012, 09:20 AM

94. This made me burst out laughing

That's what some of them actually think. It's hilarious.

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