Wed Nov 7, 2012, 07:29 PM
orleans (24,600 posts)
"a moment of silence for absent friends"
was a thread in the lounge on election night, listing those who have come and gone from du through the years.
i posted in that thread and today i read my post to my daughter, choking up as my voice faltered, tears filling my eyes. and when i looked up at her--the young woman who has been so strong and helped me so tremendously during my dark three year night of the soul, she had lost her "brave front" that she puts up for me in order to counteract my downturns, and was obviously pained as tears flowed down her face.
"it's just so sad," she said.
it's just so sad.
this afternoon i checked my posts and saw that kesha was suggesting i repost it here. so...
--a moment of silence...to absent friends...
"and my mom. she never signed up and she never went on the computer, but i'd read her the threads on du--and we watched the election results together four years ago. sometimes she'd sit down at the computer with me and i'd show her the photography threads and have her pick her favorites and vote her pick on them.
my mom--who never learned to do anything on the computer but who was just as caught up in the bbv crap as i was, who gave me some money to add with my own for andy's hospital bill, my mom who got such a kick out of some of the posts i'd read to her.
my mom--who no one here knew, but who knew of those here, and would often ask me "what does anybody on du have to say about it?" or "go check and see what anyone else is saying on du" when we would talk about politics which was a huge part of our life, conversations, etc.
my mom--who passed on three years ago and my passion for politics was no more, as was my passion for music; my passion for everything seemed to vanish because my loss was so great and all we had loved and shared together became so empty without her.
my mom--whose voice i heard in my head a couple weeks ago when i thought i probably wouldn't even vote (for the first time in my life) because i'm still in such a bad place, saying to me: "oh no you don't. you get out there and vote just like you always did. i don't want you blaming me for not voting." clear as a bell i heard that. and i laughed. and today i voted. and tonight, as i walked down the hallway and into the living room i was suddenly, for the moment, engulfed in her perfume/scent. and i know she's sitting in her chair, watching the election results just we did four years ago.
yes, a moment of silence for absent friends. and she was my best friend. and as obama begins his speech, i know she's smiling. so i think i'll go in the living room and watch it with her. "
and i did.
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"a moment of silence for absent friends" (Original post)
Response to orleans (Original post)
Thu Nov 8, 2012, 11:52 AM
auntAgonist (17,087 posts)
1. Thank you for reposting this. Your words honouring your Mom, your best friend touched
I hope you regain your passion, for she is within you and her passion will come out too.