When you go to a religious service

[edhopper]

maybe it's for a wedding or bar mitzvah or confirmation, usually to do with family obligations, how do you feel?


I've been asked this, does it make me uncomfortable or angry etc...

Truth is I just find it boring, it is the same thing, over and over and over again. Thank God for this and that, praise God, oh, God is so wonderful... boooorrrriiinnnggg.

Growing up I found them boring too, but I think that was more about being trapped inside on a weekend morning.

[pscot]

1. I can't recall

Fifty years is a long time.

[edhopper]

2. you don't go for any family events?

weddings or funerals?

[pscot]

3. My daughters had secular weddings

though one was married by a defrocked Irish Republican priest, and my family is scattered and seemingly indestructible. Thinking about it, it does seem a little odd that no friend has died in all that time; at least while the connection existed.

[edhopper]

4. That is lucky for you.

I guess you have been blessed. God has spared you the loss of any friends.

[pscot]

5. Maybe I'm lucky for them

[edhopper]

6. praise God

praise Jeebus, we must praise him for all good things, while ignoring the shit that happens while he looks the other way.

[Mr.Bill]

15. I struggle with the fact

that apparently god hates one of the teams in every sporting event. And it's not always the same ones.

[edhopper]

16. I think

it depends on the spread. And who is in his fantasy league.

[Hoppy]

7. Waste of part of a good weekend. That would be my feeling about it.

[AlbertCat]

8. I find it frustrating on many levels

The two big ones are:

I can't believe so many grown adults buy into the baloney. All these Stone Age and Iron Age guesses and magic just nonchalantly excepted (and then completely ignored when going about one's daily tasks.)


and

Boy.... it would be nice to be able to honestly join in to this camaraderie.... HONESTLY join in. But then I'd be (here it comes) deluded. But there is instant "belonging" and community.

But then because I was a little sissy in the 60's and 70's, I've been a pariah most of my life....even among my well-to-do conservative southern family.

And no one was very religious in my family.... but they pretend respect. Now because of marriage, there are REAL fundies in it (who do not acknowledge me much)

[edhopper]

9. I also have thoughts of all these people

spending so much time thinking about and prayer to a thing that isn't there.
And poring over stories of events that only have a small connection with reality.

[Brainstormy]

10. regligious services for me these days

are most often funerals. What knocks me out is the hypocrisy. Went to one lately for a member of my old tennis team who had succumbed to cancer. I had known her for years and knew she didn't darken the door of a church, and had never even mentioned any religious affiliation. At the funeral you got the idea she was a devout, practicing catholic whose every thought, for decades, had been turned heavenward.

[AlbertCat]

13. Well....

..... funerals are for the living. The dead don't care.

But I know what you mean. Religion hijacking those who are not around to defend themselves. Like all those fake deathbed conversions.

[Warpy]

11. Well, it's been years, but I found the Jewish weddings less windy

than the Catholic or Protestant ones. Rabbis are well educated and generally realize everybody just wants to yell "Mazel Tov!" and head for the food, so there are a few words about the trials and tribulations of married life and down goes the wine glass.

Priests and preachers seem to go on and on forever, probably because they've got another wedding afterward and know they're going to have to wait before they get to eat anything and it won't come with champagne when they do. I think they also love to proselytize a trapped audience, something the non convert seeking Jews don't do.

Everybody knows I have a chronic illness so for many years I've just been sending regrets and a nice prezzy. That's really been the best idea.

[onager]

14. I'll scientifically verify that...

Been to several Jewish weddings here in the Los Angeles area. Complete with canopy, stomping of the glass and all the fun stuff. As you say, they're usually mercifully short.

I was an usher at one Jewish wedding, so I got to wear a yarmulke. Nice, because it covered my bald spot. Unfortunately that was a long time ago. If I were an usher today, I'd need a vintage WWII M-1 helmet to provide that level of camouflage.

[kdmorris]

12. Usually, I'm fairly bored

Except for my paternal grandfather's service (Southern Baptists in Oklahoma). Someone much have told the pastor that I was atheist because he looked right at me (as did several of my family members) and said "If you loved this man and ever want to see him again, you need to get right with god. Hardening your heart against him and turning away from him by denying him will cause him to turn against you and deny you a place in heaven".

If I hadn't been so humiliated (who the fuck uses a funeral to make a point??), I probably would have laughed at them.

We went to church for my late mother in law's funeral and I just found that sad, not boring, because she was a great lady and I missed her. I don't even know what the guy up front was saying because I was too concerned about supporting my husband (who is also atheist, but it was his mom, you know?)

[Mr.Bill]

17. Honestly, I feel good

that people who are this weak-minded have a place to go that makes them feel good. I see the church as an outlet for these people to do what they do outside the public eye. Yes, I know they harm others when it leaks over into politics, but as far as funerals, weddings and other ceremonies it's all rather harmless to me. It beats having them do it in public places.

[edhopper]

18. are you bored during the services

or do you find something that interests you to pass the time.

[Mr.Bill]

19. A regular church service would bore me.

The only reason I would be at a church now would be a wedding or funeral. My interest would be focused on the family member/friend who the service is for. I recently went to a funeral service for the wife of a very elderly and frail friend. He is a minister himself, and the service seemed to lift his spirits and make him feel better. I see no harm in that.

[deucemagnet]

20. It mostly annoys me, but I get a strange sense of satisfaction out of it.

When everybody around me is doing their Catholic calisthenic by rote (stand, kneel, sit, make the sign of the cross, stand again, say the Lord's prayer, sit, stand, shake hands with some people, kneel, pat yourself on the head and turn around three times), I'm very pleased by the fact that I've been away from church so long that I've forgotten all of that shit and I have to look around and copy what the other people are doing. Knowing that I'm looking at a Catholic ceremony as an outsider gives me a great sense of satisfaction.

[Curmudgeoness]

21. I feel afraid.

I keep waiting for lightning to strike and burn the church down. That's ok---everyone else is just as worried about it when they see me go in.

It has been 10 years since I last was subjected to a religious ceremony---a funeral of an aunt. I was not focused on the ceremony, I was just so sad to see my cousin mourning and I was mourning as well.

Before that, I think it was at least 30 years since I was at a wedding, and I remember being bored to tears. All the trappings of a religious ceremony are so tiresome and I spend every ounce of energy just trying not the fidget.

[Gelliebeans]

22. I usually go for the food

And suffer through the rest. Thankfully I haven't had to attend a religious ceremony in about 8 years.

[AtheistCrusader]

23. I *feel* like I'm wasting my time.