Is your spouse/SO an atheist?

[Mr.Bill]

And if not, does it cause problems in your relationship?

My wife is a non-practicing Catholic, and I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic schools, was even an altar boy. So at least I am informed about what her beliefs are.

My wife is not the type to be in your face about her religion, and I'm the same way about Atheism. We respect each other's opinions, so no problems in the 22 years we've been together.

[Arugula Latte]

1. We're both atheists.

In fact, our contempt for religion was one factor that we bonded over when we first met. Well, that and lots of other things.

[Mr.Bill]

2. That makes me realize that my wife and I have just about everything but religion in common.

Well, maybe music, too.

[defacto7]

3. I'm a defacto atheist, my wife is more ignostic.

I am atheist by way of lack of evidence for any other choice and I would change my mind if evidence presented itself. My wife grew up in eastern Germany without indoctrination in religion and had no deep seated concept of religion or god. Therefore, if someone asked her, "Do you believe in God?" she would be more likely to answer, "Believe in what? I don't understand the question. Define God." That's ignostic.

We get along great!

[AtheistCrusader]

4. My wife is more of an agnostic-ish, christian-curious.

Causes no problems though.

[Ron Obvious]

5. My wife started off a Lutheran

Not one of those annoying fanatical ones who actually believes any of it or anything, but she did attend church. Her father confidently predicted I'd be coming around and see the light after about 10 years. I think she was supposed to set a good example for me.

The exact opposite happened, of course. We've been together for nearly 30 years now and she's a far angrier Hitchens-reading and Dawkins-quoting atheist than I am.

[Warpy]

6. My ex had an almost rabid anitpathy toward organized religion

but I always thought he was most likely a closet deist. There was no friction over it.

[bravenak]

7. He's a deist, maybe or agnostic.

Never talks about god, hates organized religion. His mother is a born again fundamentalist Christian, I think she ruined it tor him.

[Rainforestgoddess]

8. My husband is agnostic

Probably would be atheist if he spent much time thinking about it.

[Brainstormy]

9. my husband has been

an atheist all of his life and is incredibly comfortable with it, even here in the Bible Belt. I grew up in a fundamentalist church and went through some real angst as an adult when I began to doubt. I stay kind of pissed off at myself for taking so long myself to wake up, and still get angry about religious issues, but he's just serene about it. I think he's fortunate to have been spared all the indoctrination I had to overcome.

[Mr.Bill]

10. It didn't come overnight for me, either.

I've gone from the angst of a Catholic teenager rejecting his family's religion to someone in his 60s completely at peace with it.

The funny thing is, my peace came to me through all the questions the believers ask us. How did we get here? Who created the earth? Aren't you afraid of eternal damnation? etc. I just realized that for me, there is no burden to prove that no god exists, just being content that I don't know any of the answers. And neither does the Pope, Jerry Fallwell, Michelle Bachman or anyone else on this planet. There are only those with the ability and need to convince others they have the answers. And they have been around as long as recorded history. In fact, they "recorded" much of it.

[wyldwolf]

11. she kinda is but pretends she isn't

At one time she was a self-described liberal christian but has slowly evolved into something vague and undefinable.

[Tobin S.]

12. No, she's an Episcopalian.

I'm an agnostic.

It doesn't cause us any trouble. I go to church with her here and there. I find the services boring, but I go to please her. I do like the people that go to that church, though, for the most part. After service they all gather in a community room in the church and have snacks and socialize. I like that. The church also has an open kitchen. Anyone who needs a meal can stop by and get one when they are cooking. They also run a charity that redistributes household items and clothes to those in need.

So I like the culture of that church, I just can't stay awake during the services. That's supposed to be the main thing, but it does nothing for me. I like the peripheral stuff. My wife knows these things and still loves me.

[PassingFair]

13. Husband was a "recovering Catholic" when I met him. He calls himself an atheist now.

Last edited Wed Nov 20, 2013, 12:04 PM - Edit history (1)

I gave up pretending to believe on my Episcopal "confirmation day", age 12.

Before we got married, I told him that I would NOT put my children into
a parochial school under ANY circumstances, and we have never had an
argument relating to religion.

[sakabatou]

14. My SO is religious, but it doesn't come up in our relationship

[OriginalGeek]

15. My wife was raised Southern Baptist

and claims to still believe - or at least gets irritated with me when I comment* on something religious we might see or hear. I was raised independent, fundamental, bible-believin' Baptist. But I was already an atheist when I met and married her. She knew what she was getting and since she rarely ever went to church anyway it hasn't been a problem.

We celebrated our 27th anniversary this past July.


I occasionally tease her that she doesn't get to be irritated with me as she came from a liberal sect. (If you know fundamentalist Baptists that might be funnier)



*by "comment" I mean "Make fun of some dumb bullshit thing some christian says about god."

[rexcat]

16. Wife is a non-practicing catholic...

walked away from the church after our twins were born. She finally opened her eyes concerning the sex abuse issue within the church. Our two boys are atheists and she has no problem with it. On the other hand the in-laws are pain in the ass ultra conservative first generation American Italian catholics. Both the wife and her sister turned their backs on the church which I find amusing considering their parents view.

[progressoid]

17. She used to be a church goer.

There was a bit of friction, but it wasn't really because of our different views. She was struggling with her own issues. Now she doesn't attend church anymore and even denounces them. However, she hasn't come out and declared she's atheist or agnostic. And I don't expect she will. She wants there to be a higher power, but can't find it in western religions.

[onager]

18. You're all in good company!

A couple of my favorite anecdotes about "mixed marriages:"

1. Though he composed beautiful religious music like "Ave Maria" and "Requiem," Giuseppe Verdi was (in)famous in Italy as a religious non-believer. So much so that many believers complained about him being paid to write the "Requiem."

Mrs. Verdi was a lifelong devout Catholic. Verdi often tweaked her about that, asking "Surely you don't STILL believe that nonsense?" And so forth. Mrs. Verdi said she often got so mad at her husband over their religious differences, she wanted to "hit him right in the head." But apparently she never did.

2. Thomas Edison was such an outspoken non-believer, he scared the corporate Board of General Electric. Especially after he gave an interview to the New York Times in which he denied the existence of the soul or an afterlife. He also said no form of religion should ever be taught in American public schools, because religion was "bunk."

His second wife, Mina, was a devout Xian. Like many another spouse, she thought her husband would eventually "come around."

Especially if, say, she invited a bunch of prestigious, well-educated clergymen to dinner. And let them introduce her husband to their awesome Other Ways Of Knowing about religion.

So after dinner, Thomas Edison and the clergymen retired to the study, where the guests all started pontificating on the absolute necessity of religious belief, etc. etc.

After a few minutes, Edison stood up and said: "I'm not listening to any more of this damned nonsense." And left the room.

After that, the Edisons agreed to disagree about religion and pretty much lived happily ever after.

[cynatnite]

19. Husband believes in God, but doesn't consider himself a Christian...

I'm an atheist.

We don't talk too much about any of it. Religion has never been a subject worthy of discussion for either of us. It's just not that high on the ladder of what's important. In fact, I'd say it's at the bottom.

We've been married 24 years.

[stone space]

20. No, she's catholic. I'm atheist.

We've been together for almost 17 years.

Not a problem.