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Thu Mar 15, 2012, 02:37 AM

Humorous Jewish Buddhist Sayings

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the
wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with
posture like that.

There is no escaping karma.
In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never
visited. And whose fault was that?

Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.

To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance,
do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a
terminal illness.

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your
problems.

The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others.
The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take
sides. The Tao is not Jewish.

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy.
With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all
sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being
who happens to be Jewish?

Be patient and achieve all things.
Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand
flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a
specialist.

Be here now.
Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have? Bupkes

From a website

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Arrow 6 replies Author Time Post
Reply Humorous Jewish Buddhist Sayings (Original post)
ellisonz Mar 2012 OP
Behind the Aegis Mar 2012 #1
Duer 157099 Mar 2012 #2
dipsydoodle Mar 2012 #3
ellisonz Mar 2012 #4
dipsydoodle Mar 2012 #5
ellisonz Mar 2012 #6

Response to ellisonz (Original post)

Thu Mar 15, 2012, 02:53 AM

1. That's pretty funny.

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Response to ellisonz (Original post)

Thu Mar 15, 2012, 04:55 AM

2. It works

Love it

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Response to ellisonz (Original post)

Thu Mar 15, 2012, 10:24 AM

3. Having watched on TV here in the UK

Old Jews Telling Jokes I've bought the book to take to Cuba with me when I go there for 3 weeks soon. Reading that on the beach will make some wonder why the grin on my face and the occasional loud laughter.

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Response to dipsydoodle (Reply #3)

Thu Mar 15, 2012, 01:21 PM

4. Cuba, lucky you!

Enjoy the vacation and give my regards to Raul!

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Response to ellisonz (Reply #4)

Thu Mar 15, 2012, 01:25 PM

5. An advantage

of being English. Side effect is that whereas I can't tell the difference between US and Canadian accents it dont mattere there : all Canadians.

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Response to dipsydoodle (Reply #5)

Thu Mar 15, 2012, 01:27 PM

6. Yeah - I really wish...

Obama would life the travel ban - it's not like we aren't in bed with the PRC, the time has come to open that door: somewhat jealous

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