1st Annual “Pontius Pilot” Awards for Unintentional Theological Comedy

[meow2u3]

http://www.commonwealmagazine.org/blog/?p=19090

It’s been getting pretty serious around here these days. No doubt the issues under consideration demand gravitas, but there’s always room for levitas too. As Shakespeare knew so well, some comic relief can serve to sharpen perception of the serious matters. And so, like Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, or Macbeth’s drunken porter, I am stumbling onto this stage for a moment. I hereby open a thread and inaugurate the 1st annual “Pontius Pilot” Awards for Unintentional Theological Comedy.

<snip>

Our tragic experiences of marking exams, quizzes, and papers are lightened, though, by precious gems of unintentional comedy. No, the word “canon” does not refer to “the weapon used by Titus to destroy the Jerusalem Temple.” But thank you, Rosencrantz, for guessing that! You have no idea how much that laugh helped me get through this stack of final exams!

In the category “Jesus“:

Jesus’ life was not extraordinary. … a man who grew up just like everybody else, besides being born from a virgin mother.

Jesus’ arrival as the savior of mankind essentially created a mess of how to identify groups of people in the New Testament.

[Matilda]

1. This article links to an older website posting which is hilarious

When spellcheck won't help:

On Scripture

The closest written text to the period of the Big Bang is the Bible, which is the underlying scripture of the Christian tradition, and one of the earliest and most influential texts available for theologians. In the Bible, God is loving, forgiving, powerful, and a creationist. In the Book of Genius, God created all the living and nonliving, proclaiming his intention ‘good.’ For tempting Adam and Eve, God scalds the serpent. With regard to Adam and Eve, I am so tired of being told that because of two fictitious people I am not dancing around naked with Brittany Spheres. God promised never to erase mankind again but there is no mention that He won’t screw with us. God led the Israelites out of Egypt to the land of cannon, so they could make scarifeces in the woods. God wreaks havoc on the Egyptians in a fairy tale manor. I really like interrupting the scriptures in class.

Luke’s gospel tells of shepherds who come to worship a babe. In the Greek language of the Gospel of John, Jesus is described as the “haggis” or Word of God. Mary Magdalene was the first to see the woman Christ. Women were whitenesses of the death of Jesus. Jesus always tells people that he is the sun of God. Jesus amazed people, starting with his emasculate conception. The passion of Christ is a dramatic, griping story. The New Testament ends with the reformation, and allows the writers to see into heaven. The Bible should not be rewritten because it is apart of the Christian Tradition.

http://www.americamagazine.org/blog/entry.cfm?blog_id=2&entry_id=1813

This really did have me giggling to myself.