LEXINGTON, MA- October 17, 2012 (BSN)--Federal agents this morning raided the headquarters of Romney for President following an anonymous tip. Agents from the FBI and U.S. Attorney's Office as well as local police officers loaded dozens of boxes purportedly containing pornography into a U-Haul truck under the watchful eyes of Kelli Harrison and Katie Gage, the chief of staff and deputy manager of the campaign to elect former governor Willard Romney.
Both Ms. Harrison and Ms. Gage expressed outrage at the likelihood their names will now forever be linked to the scandal. Ms Harrison stated “The women in Mitt’s organizations have always gone to great lengths to avoid the limelight, and now this happens!”
According to reliable sources within the FBI, the Lexington police received a tip from a cell phone somewhere in Hempstead, N.Y, possibly on the campus of Hofstra University which included a detailed reference to “binders full of women.” This prompted Lexington Police Chief Mark Corr to request federal agents’ assistance in investigating the offices located at 80 Hayden Ave.
Former porn star and current adult entertainment industry mogul Jenna Jameson, although a strong Romney supporter, assisted police panting: “Oh, yes! That’s the spot!”
The candidate himself has declined comment at this time, but former governor and Romney surrogate John Sununu went on record stating “the voters will probably forget this by next week.”
The 10 o’clock raid had originally been scheduled for 8 am, but rush hour traffic on the Concord Expressway was heavier than expected.