Oldie but goodie: Smack You with My Umbrella (parody of Rihanna's "Umbrella")
Remember when Chris Brown was caught abusing Rihanna to the point of biting her? Three years ago, I wrote a parody version of "Umbrella", a revenge fantasy.
Here it is:
"Smack You With My Umbrella" (Rihanna vs. Chris Brown parody, sung to the tune of "Umbrella"
(Rihanna)
You beat me up
You must think you are a pup
Dad might’ve roughed up mom
You think I’m a punching bag
You bit me in the dark
Pit bull chase moving cars
Know why you attacked me, brat
So you can beat me like a kitty cat
Because
(Chorus)
I don’t think we’ll shine together
I’ll send you right to the shelter
Sink your teeth in my again
You’ll get treated like man’s best friend
You will need a leash and collar
While you bark and growl and holler
You’re a dog—you’re not a fella
I will smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
[Rihanna]
You must think I’m a bitch literally
You act like a savage beast, that’s to say the least
This is war but I shall stand
You’re behavior’s gotten out of hand
If the bite is hard, that’s cuz you’re a canine retard
Because
[i([Chorus)
(Rihanna)
You won’t have much time around
It’s because you’ll get put down
Get away from me
There's no hope for your adoption now
So go on and fly in a rage
You’ll be locked up in a cage
Because
(Chorus)
(Rihanna)
You’re dead meat
Ooh doggie you’re dead meat
Bad dog get far from me
Get far from me
You’re dead meat
Ooh doggie you’re dead meat
