Is sexual attraction racist?

[SoutherDem]

Sexual attraction is an odd thing. Some like older, some younger, some taller, some shorter, some thin, some fat, some like blonds and others brunets.

If someone who otherwise exhibits no evidence of racism, including accepting others who are in interracial relationships, would they be considered a racist if they are not attracted to someone of another race?

[richmwill]

1. Not at all, in my opinion.

I prefer redheads- am I somehow "biased against blondes and brunettes" due to this? No.

[TOC]

17. mm

i like redheads too, but I like girls in general

[florela]

28. ah.redheads and freckles.yummy.

good for you,redheads need love too

[alphafemale]

2. No more than someone not attracted to the same sex is homophobic.

You really can't help sexual attraction. That's pretty hard wired it seems.

[florela]

29. hmm...maybe your right

yes,that seems to be the argument of pedophiles

[arcane1]

3. I'll have to go with "no"

Unless they are also some racist equivalent for any other thing they don't find sexually attractive. That would make everyone some kind of "-ist"

[TheWraith]

4. No. Why would they?

Some people have very specific "types."

For that matter, I find very dark-skinned black women usually more attractive than very light-skinned ones. Categorize that.

[demosincebirth]

5. What??

[SoutherDem]

6. Here is why I asked.

I have seen people accused of being racist for not being attracted to someone of a different race. I agree sexual attraction is something there or not there.

My nephew was accused of being a racist because he didn't want to go out with a black woman. Quite frankly if it were a white woman who didn't meet his "type" skinny and blond, she wouldn't have had a chance either, but it did bother my nephew. I was just seeking other's opinion.

Actually years ago I was accused of be racist for not wanting to go out with a friends niece. My friend assumed it was because her niece was black. She didn't realize it was because her niece wasn't a nephew. Many years later when I was out I went to the friend and reminded her of this event and explained it had nothing with race but gender. We ended up have a good laugh.

[demosincebirth]

7. It's pretty simple to me, if you don't want to go out with someone because they are black you are

racist, prejudice or what ever the description of the action may be. One thing many of us don't realize is that everyone has some form of racism in him/her. Even Blacks. Like it or not, we all do.

[delrem]

42. Hmmm.

My thought on this conversation focuses on my personal, lived through it understanding that how a youth (me) is first attracted to a sexual partner isn't something that the youth (me) has much if any control over.

Since it's a purely physical thing it has everything to do with hair, eyes, and the shape of things - and those things are presented from outside, from another human being.

Experiences differ, and the experience of a child who has been raped is of a different class than the experience of a child who survived youth with only minor blows.

I've learned to love kindness above all. I think kindness can shatter prejudice.

[demosincebirth]

43. You are right. Kindness can shatter prejudice, but not all humans are kind.

[TheMick]

44. I must disagree.....

.....because if a man is attracted to blue eyed blondes, he is not going to loo at blacks, or Asians, or most Hispanics.
Me, personally, I love Asian girls, especially Vietnamese.

[florela]

30. i have been called racist for the same thing

I'm not at all attracted to blacks,so..ask anyone-this makes me racist automatically.i do however think most hispanics are more attractive than whites? go figure? i cant figure this stuff out.as long as people live and breath,they will all have a different opinion -each one believing they are right while the rest of us are wrong. bottom line!!

[demosincebirth]

45. On this board we tread lightly becasue one's liberalism might not be as liberal as others. They

might, just, let you know. I agree with you, though.

[guardian]

8. No

Whatever floats your boat.

[Jamaal510]

9. I used to think it is racist.

I'm attracted to women from every race, and I used to believe it is racist for someone to not find anyone from a certain race attractive. But I realized that was the incorrect way for me to look at this. None of us have control over who we are attracted to. No one chooses to be straight or gay, and no one chooses to only be attracted to (insert race) women or men. If a person happens to be attracted to people of only one race, it is what it is. No one can be everyone's cup of tea.

[loli phabay]

10. nope, everyone has a type

I only find certain groups attractive sexually, not to say i cant say someone outside these groups is pretty or handsome its just i dont want to jump them.

[Shankapotomus]

11. You have to distinguish between

race and culture. You can be turned off by a culture but not someone's race. As any culture is basically adoptable by anyone of any race, it is not racist to not be attracted to someone based on their culture.

But I think it is racist to reject someone because of their race.

[SoutherDem]

12. Good point I had not thought of that.

[florela]

31. interesting

religious people scare me.spiritual people enlighten me .atheist confuse themselves.

[patrickC]

20. having a preference to ones own race is not racist

a black man preferring black women over non-black woman is not racist....and neither is a white man that prefers white women. If you go out of your way to avoid having friends of a different race. IE if in a social group you refuse to be social to people outside of your race...as just one example.
America is free people should have the right to choose with whom they want to share their life with or have an intimate relationship.

All that being said ....The idiot that was critical of RG3(redskins player) should be fired.....So what if he is with a white woman I am not a Skins fan but I am still more interested in what he is doing on the field that off(especially since he is a law abiding citizen)

[Shankapotomus]

21. Well, welcome to the forums!

Not sure I understand how eliminating the members of an entire race from romantic consideration is not racist, though. You might have to clarify that one.

[florela]

32. i can figure it out

some races have certain "physical qualities" that one simply may be turned off by.example? ok-big noses? red hair? ashy skin.call it racist if you so choose,but it may simply be a turn off. does that help ya?

[Shankapotomus]

37. You are also calling it racist

Last edited Sat Feb 16, 2013, 09:17 AM - Edit history (2)

Simply by using the words "some races" you are negatively segregating a certain section of the population by race. Now someone correct me if I'm wrong???, but that is the definition of racism.

Not to mention, that a person's character should always supersede physical attributes when it comes to genuine attraction. If rejecting someone because they have freckles or blue/black/blonde hair is shallow, what is rejecting someone because of their skin color/race? At the worst, it's racist. At the very least, it's shallow.

So it seems you are unknowingly (and I stress unknowingly), just combining racism with shallowness. I don't think you mean it (it can be a common mistake we all fall into when we follow our un-filtered instincts) but I don't how it can be spun otherwise.

[HelenaHandbasket]

13. No...Everybody Has Preferences About Whom They're Attracted To

It's no different than liking slim or muscular, long hair, short hair, etc. It's just a preference.

[closeupready]

14. Odd question - I was accused of being a racist years ago by

a black woman with whom I had an otherwise strong friendship when I told her that, as a white gay man, I found that I was attracted mostly to brown-skinned guys. She suggested that this reflected some kind of inferiority complex, i.e., that since they are generally less powerful in society, as a group, my attraction was based in some sort of condescension or exploitive mindset.

Weird how you're potentially racist if you find minorities attractive, and racist if you don't.

[florela]

34. should put her in her place,bro.Lil

next time tell her you've thought about what she said,and decided it was the dark mans big---- that you liked most. that should shut er right up.

[closeupready]

38. LOL - yeah, that's ALWAYS a plus.

[GiovanniTheGreat]

15. Hm really?

Wow are we that guilt ridden as a people that many even have to ask questions like this?

[florela]

35. aha!! my way of thinking.

apparently so..sad isn't it?

[GiovanniTheGreat]

16. White only

I only like white.. if it ain't white, it ain't right.. although now and then I think a mexican or arab girl might be attractive.

[Eyes of the World]

18. I don't know about sexual attraction but

but I have had two replies hidden already.

I have been called a rascist of intelligence too low even to comprehend rascism.

I have been called an obvious rascist troll on the basis of a one line post.

I would like to believe that a bunch of over-eager troll hunters are just a little too enthusiastic about nailing someone with a low post count, but I wonder how brave they are when they aren't hiding behind the name "juror #3"

So based on my experience, if I say anything about race I am going to get yet another reply hidden.

[CanonCityGecacher]

19. Its just how we are wired

I have always thought that African American and Asian woman were very beautiful in their own way. I has nothing to do with racism as far as I know. I also think the tummy is the sexiest part of a woman's body. No matter what "race" the are. I like a little more meat on a woman then a very skinny woman. I will still treat them all the same. I hope they feel the same way about me. Interesting Question Though. Appreciating the beauty and variety of individuals is a big factor in meeting the right person but getting to know them is what keeps them together.

[florela]

36. all too often we look at the outside first..thats where we get hurt.

although physical attraction may bring two people together it usually isn't enough to keep them together.too bad we dint slow down and take our time deciding who our best long-term mate would be?

[OleDogg1945]

22. First, define, then decide, shall we?

Hey, SouternDem, as a 67 year old black man, when I hear or read the word "racism", I can never truly be sure that I know what the word means to the person using it. Without context, or an understanding of what racism means to you, it is hard to answer your question. But first, a definition might be helpful, to put us both "on the same page", as it were. So, let's try this one on for size, before we tackle your question, head-on. To this throwback from the 60s, "racism" might best be defined, understood and used, as follows:

"A belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits, capacities, capabilities, and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority attributable to a particular race; to wit, a given superior race, over an inferior race or races"


If this definition works for you, as it has for me, for well over 40 years, then my answer to your question would be-and happily so, I might add-an unequivocal and resounding HECK NO! And this, to my mind, would be true because, to anyone not laboring under any definition of racism, other than the one we now share, sexual attraction, or the lack of it, would simply be a matter of biology and personal preference. Put simply, then, it would be all about what "turns you on", what "floats your boat, and nothing more. Hope this helps.

Pop's here...

[mcworld]

23. b.yourself

how about you just be yourself and not give a single damn what category it might fit into.

[timesamillion]

24. Depends

I'd say no unless one makes it a point to talk about how unattractive other races are.

[AProgressiveThinker]

25. Not at all

I am very liberal and it's not at all racist, it's just literally who you're naturally physically attracted too, I think some races of women are more attractive than others, I'm not going to tell you my personal opinion but if someone is more physically attracted too asians more than whites or whites more than blacks or blacks more than Latinos, that doesn't make them racist.

[Speck Tater]

26. Is racial attractioin sexist?

For my money, there are hot chicks of every race and nationality! Personally, I don't think sexual attraction has anything at all to do with race. Hot is hot, and it's universal. (Is that sexist of me?)

[FreakinDJ]

27. But if you prefer women of a different race over that of your own ....

then you will be accused of everything from racism to pedophilia

[Cirque du So-What]

33. No

Sexual attraction is highly subjective. In my case, I find many women attractive from various & sundry ethnic & racial classifications, including my own, although some of *my own* don't do a thing for me. For me, it has more to do with the 'whole person' than characteristics such as race / ethnicity - or what passes for 'beauty' as defined by societal norms. For instance, this S.E. Cupp person has a 'naughty librarian' look that in most circumstances I find quite stimulating...then she opens her mouth and that notion is dispelled tout de suite.

[TimberValley]

39. even if it is racist.......

what can possibly be done about it? People will simply be attracted to whichever race or ethnicity they prefer. you cannot make them like people of a race they don't like any more than you can make them like people who are fat or unattractive.

[Mad Maddie]

40. Racism is Complicated

Racism is a complicated issue.

What makes racism complicated is that there is more than one school of thought regarding its definition and how it is applied. The "dominating" school of thought holds that racism only exists when members of one race have the power to dominate over a powerless race. In this respect only White people can be racists since White people control the majority of resources and political power over African Americans (and other racial/ethnic minorities). Of course, the problem with this application is that one can argue on what level racism applies - i.e. macro vs. micro level. For example, are we talking about national politics, non-government social institutions, marriage equality, social interactions, neighborhood disputes, refusal of services, etc. But regardless of its application, in this respect, racism has to have a power component - the ability to maintain control of resources by keeping them from those who have less power. Depending on the context, it is argued that "racism" can be flipped over where the racist group becomes the group discriminated against (e.g., the controversial affirmative action). A White person saying they prefer Whites over Blacks wouldn't be racist.

But the second school of thought on racism holds that racism includes racist thoughts and does not require the power component. Basically, it encompasses any biases whether they be overt behaviors, personal beliefs, or personal preferences. This definition would hold that everyone is racist, even those people who have been blind since birth (because preferences are taught, for the most part). It doesn't have to lead to overt discrimination. So, a White person who says they prefer Whites over Blacks and vice versa would be racist. The problem with this definition is that it essentially makes racism meaningless except as a sociological discussion.

So that's my long answer. My short answer is no, it would not make you a racist except maybe to sociologists who might want to study you. Lol.

[Buffalo Bull]

41. no not misogynist, nor homophobic either

Our attractions are so hard wired that they don't erase.
We aren't responsible for what brings us pleasure or support
We can be counter productive in how we go about things.
Paul Simon ...'How the heart approaches what it yearns'


In the blue light of the Belvedere Motel
Wondering as the television burns
How the heart approaches what it yearns

In a fever I distinctly hear your voice
Emerging from a dream, the dream returns
How the heart approaches what it yearns

After the rain on the interstate
Headlights slide past the moon
A bone weary traveler waits by the side of the road
Where's he going'?

I dream we are lying on the top of a hill
An' headlights slide past the moon
I roll in your arms and your voice is the heat of the night
I'm on fire

In a phone booth in some local bar and grill
Rehearsing what I'll say, my coin returns
How the heart approaches what it yearns
How the heart approaches what it yearns



Read more: PAUL SIMON - HOW THE HEART APPROACHES WHAT IT YEARNS LYRICS

[bigwillq]

46. I hope not.

I'm really only attracted to non-whites.

[ConnorMarc]

47. I Like ALL The Girls

Like Phife Dawg said, "I like 'em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Haitian."

I, too, have a thing for red-heads. Dunno what it is, they seem to can do no wrong by me.

Women are awesome.

That is all.

[heaven05]

48. yeah if you're attracted to

the wrong color in a say white trailer park........it can cause racism. Given the psycho-sexual myths surrounding black males and white women sexual attraction always has the potential to appeal to the racist nature of all racist white males. As far as being attracted to a member of the opposite sex of your own race, that's bred into the DNA, I guess. It's finally changing though. People are finding soul mates outside of their own race. And the children of those interracial parents have everything necessary to not be racist. Now if the 'pure' racist american could just accept that, our racial problems would almost be solved.

[davidpdx]

49. I agree with what most people are saying, which is no

In my case I'd never thought about dating an Asian woman prior to moving to South Korea. Well that changed pretty quickly and at the beginning of my 3rd year I ended marrying one (my wife of 9 years). Next Friday I mark 11 years living here.

To quote the immortal words of Jerry Garcia "What a long strange trip it's been".