1. I actually catch myself saying that sometimes and
always look around waiting for people to come get me.
Mine is usually to a good friend at work via text when we are in a LLLOOOONNNNGGGG boring meeting and it's a "please pass me a knife so I can slit my writst and end this torture". It is more in fun though since we only have plastic knives at work.
I do get where you are coming from though. I was in a hospital as a teen, so can relate to how you feel. Over time you will stop worrying about this time in your life and things will get back to "normal". I promise.