I'm tired of being human.

[Neoma]

It's like how in each Star Trek series, they're always about starfleet, and they're always mostly human. I got really sick and tired of fucking Starfleet. Give me a series about Romulans!

Well right now, why in the world can't I be an octopus? A tree? Or maybe a raccoon. Sometimes, things get too boring. I think my next hobby is either mathematics, learning the guitar, or learning how to computer program. Except I end up with the grandiose thoughts of doing: "Hey, why don't I try doing all three at once and just schedule doing all three into my day!? I could maybe squeeze in exercise and learning how to drive too!" Bullshit, I can barely remember to eat 3 meals a day. When I realize I can't do all that, I end up not doing any of it.

I know better, but it happens once and awhile anyways.

[fujiyama]

1. I love your post

I have similar fleeting feelings of a sudden desire to conquer the world and then some minor slight or some odd trigger will deflate it and I'm too down to do anything because I can't focus on one task/goal.

I recently decided, fuck it - I'll start slow, at my own pace and we'll see where it goes. My two main goals are fitness related - eating better and getting some exercise. Previous times I started exercising, I would start way too fast and overdo it, be totally beat and sore, and then quickly lose motivation and quit.

This time I started with a walk of about a mile, and then a jog/walk of just under two miles. I'm amazed how much better a half hour of relatively non intensive exercise makes me feel. It's not a permanent fix. I'm still depressed, but I do have more energy throughout the day than I did before I did anything.

Sorry if my post is on a tangent. There are so many things I keep telling myself I want to do, but I never get around to any of them. It's funny but guitar has been one of those. Others include photography, painting, dancing, and yoga. Let's see if I get around to any of them!

[Neoma]

2. Oh, I'm usually more ambitious than that.

I've changed ideas on what career I want a lot. Archaeologist, Pharmacologist, Neurologist, Astrophysicist, Zoologist, etc. It's always something scientific. Except I'd probably be a better historian.

Oh yeah, except I have to learn how to drive before I go to college. Pfft, I'll do that later. It's too boring. I'll just go read this 900 paged book here... (When it comes to books, I actually accomplish something.)

[momto3]

3. Being bipolar means that it is hard to keep goals and dreams on a rational level.

In my life, I have wanted to be a professional musician (I play the flute), a vet, a MD, a social worker, a scientist. Always changing back and forth. And, I have spent much of my life in school, and now in debt, trying to attain these goals. I have finally stuck with science, since I think my husband would divorce me if I suggested going back to school again.

I have tried, within the past couple of years, to slow my focus and concentrate on becoming good at one thing. I have found that achieving small goals can satisfy my manic episodes. I have decided I want a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. So, I have started taking classes. This, to me, sounds extravagant, but it is something I can through myself into, does not cost a lot of money, and is actually healthy for me.

Maybe if you try one small thing, it will give you the confidence to follow it through. Setting goals is important as long as it does not completely take over the rest of your life. This was a very difficult lesson for me to learn.