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Thu Dec 8, 2011, 12:36 PM

I'm just wondering...

if this group is also for co-dependency (Alanon)?

I see there is no host yet but thought I'd toss the question out.

My personal opinion is co-dependency is a horrible addiction. Other's may not feel the same way, that's why I ask.

15 replies, 1986 views

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Arrow 15 replies Author Time Post
Reply I'm just wondering... (Original post)
Little Star Dec 2011 OP
wildeyed Dec 2011 #1
cally Dec 2011 #2
Stuart G Dec 2011 #3
tavalon Feb 2012 #15
MrsBrady Dec 2011 #4
Little Star Dec 2011 #5
raccoon Dec 2011 #6
Little Star Dec 2011 #7
tavalon Dec 2011 #11
tavalon Feb 2012 #14
Little Star Dec 2011 #9
tavalon Feb 2012 #13
Little Star Dec 2011 #8
tavalon Dec 2011 #10
tavalon Feb 2012 #12

Response to Little Star (Original post)

Thu Dec 8, 2011, 04:24 PM

1. I feel like we had Alanon folks in the old DU group.

We had gambling and sex addiction people too. I agree that co-dependency is an addiction.

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Response to Little Star (Original post)

Thu Dec 8, 2011, 08:46 PM

2. I would think so

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Response to Little Star (Original post)

Sun Dec 11, 2011, 06:59 PM

3. Yes, we have CODA issues here..

I too am powerless over others..
Heard that at a meeting..

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Response to Stuart G (Reply #3)

Wed Feb 15, 2012, 12:14 PM

15. As a recovering superwoman,

I have to have constant vigilance. I'm grateful that I drew the addict in to my life because that wild ride brought me screaming back to recovery and now that I'm back, I see that I've done quite a bit of backsliding in the last two decades. I've got work to do and I'm okay with that except when I'm not. But when I hear myself pull out my pity potty, I REALLY hear it and I don't like it. I'm at a stage where I want to do the work, not the whine.

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Response to Little Star (Original post)

Mon Dec 12, 2011, 02:26 PM

4. Al-anon here.



I (used to) suffer from Alcoholism, even though I am not problem drinker.
It's a family (or friend of) disease.

But like those in AA, I get a daily reprieve from being stark raving nuts,
if I do what I need to do for myself....work the steps, talk to my sponsor,
go to meetings, and help others, etc...

I have a life today, so I gotta live it.

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Response to MrsBrady (Reply #4)

Mon Dec 12, 2011, 05:15 PM

5. Alanon saved my life. I was a raving lunitic! n/t

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Response to Little Star (Reply #5)

Wed Dec 14, 2011, 08:12 AM

6. Another Al-Anon here. I started in Adult Children way back,


went on to AA, then on to Al Anon.


I can see now that sometimes I was a raving lunatic.

Nowadays, when I become irritable and unreasonable, I know it.



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Response to raccoon (Reply #6)

Wed Dec 14, 2011, 10:04 AM

7. Yep. That stinkin thinkin of mine keeps popping up..

I try hard to recognize it before I do too much damage. But even after all these years it still creeps up on me and comes pouring out of my mouth before I recognize what's happening.

and back atcha

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Response to Little Star (Reply #7)

Sun Dec 25, 2011, 03:49 AM

11. I spent three years in CoDA, 14 years ago

Saved my life or at least helped me save my own life. That said, I let it slip and now I get to do a redo. I was the healthiest and happiest ever in my life 11 years ago, so I guess I'm grateful for the opportunity to start over and do it again. Or I will be, eventually. Right now, I'm terrified and angry and confused and scared and ...........

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Response to Little Star (Reply #7)

Wed Feb 15, 2012, 12:10 PM

14. It's funny (not ha ha)

but I noticed myself taking others inventory last night so tonight, I go to meeting. I need the power of the rooms when I slip. Those automatic but addicted responses take a lot of work to excise!

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Response to raccoon (Reply #6)


Response to Little Star (Reply #5)

Wed Feb 15, 2012, 12:07 PM

13. I prefer to say that the 12 steps help me to save my own life

Well, my higher power as I understand my higher power has also helped greatly. But remember, Alanon can be there, but we do the work. It's simple but not easy. It's one of the hardest jobs but it's empowering to let go and let ______. To understand that my life has become unmanageable because of the addiction may sound unempowering but it leads to empowerment.

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Response to MrsBrady (Reply #4)

Wed Dec 14, 2011, 10:05 AM

8. What you said!

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Response to Little Star (Original post)

Sun Dec 25, 2011, 03:45 AM

10. It better be

Otherwise my post a few minutes ago is really off topic. I think this site is for recovery from anything. At least I hope it is. If it isn't, I'll be happy to help get one started.

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Response to Little Star (Original post)

Wed Feb 15, 2012, 12:03 PM

12. That's my addiction and yeah, it's as horrible as any of the others.

And the suckiest part is that I can't actually give up my drug of choice unless I move to an island and become a crazy cat lady. I have a family so it's an ongoing effort to be transparent and to resist enabling and to give the fellow adult members of my family the respect to let them succeed or fail without my incessant interference.

I had a bad relapse this fall, bringing my ex husband back into my life to help him get a job and then when he arrived, I was hit with the fact that he is a prescription drug addict. So I went into full enable mode and quickly went crazy- or rather batshit insane. I guess I can be grateful that it happened so quickly and I was so willing to go back to my 12 step work. Ought not to have ever stopped, but who doesn't make mistakes, right? I need to be gentle and yet unflinchingly honest with myself.

I think all addictions are awful and sad things. They suck the life out of good humans. They are bad monkeys and when they get a hold of us, it's a heavy burden, not only for the addict but for everyone that addict interacts with.

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