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Sun Jun 10, 2012, 03:36 PM

 

Changing the focus to who you really are.

I find it an easier and softer way to approach an, addict/alcoholics, problems with change in their demeanor as far as how they see themselves off of the, drugs/alcohol.
How we see ourselves is a major factor in depression.
If I am Joe Shit the Ragman sucking down a fifth of Windsor a day while living in stench I am going to be that person. I am going to be a loser through and through with no where to turn but the bottle. The bottle whispers you are ok, you will be fine, drink more and see how I make you feel. Your troubles will go away if you drink more of me.
Bullshit!!
Your addiction, no matter what drug, or drugs, is encased in a world of denial. Having lived the life, using drugs/alcohol daily for many years, my life became full of disillusionment, anger at the world, depression, hopelessness, worthlessness, hate, suicidal thoughts and attempts, suicidal attention seeking, theft, DWI's, jails, psych wards, alleys, walking for hours and avoidance of those I loved all to get high, or so I thought. I ran away from me after years of addiction. The longer I used, the worse my depression became, and the harder it was for me to get out of the addict thinking. Addiction becomes in grained into your soul. The longer your actively feeding your addiction to drugs/alcohol, the more your every move is dictated by your addicted brain. You listen to your addiction and the quiet thoughts employing you to drink or to do some smack so you will feel normal. No pain. No depression. No emotions.

Killing the depression is on the tip of a needle and right inside a jug of 86 proof whiskey.

Or killing the depression is turning your focus away from the drugs/alcohol and focusing on what your most best at as far as your talents go. I know I am a damn good drunk and doper. I am a pro at it!!! Yeah Me!!!
I also know I am damn good at fishing, playing pool, socializing, working, music, writing, college studies (now a 3.20 GPA from a 0 on the streets for ten years), and a great grandfather if I must say so.
I get depressed because it is in my genes, and most of all it is because of my addiction to drugs/alcohol. I lived the life of a loser for years and with the label loser you are depressed. My addiction is ingrained into my soul and with that my depression is as well.
I keep myself out of depressed moods and the fuck it attitudes by focusing on what I am really like off of drugs/alcohol. I know booze and drugs will just put me right back into a deep depression so I use my other talents to be happy with who I really am.

I am not that drunk or doper today. I am a 59 year old recovering man with much to give to the real world I live in.






















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Reply Changing the focus to who you really are. (Original post)
tomkoop Jun 2012 OP
Vanje Jun 2012 #1
NMDemDist2 Jun 2012 #2
tavalon Jun 2012 #4
tavalon Jun 2012 #3
Vanje Jun 2012 #5

Response to tomkoop (Original post)

Sun Jun 10, 2012, 06:42 PM

1. I'm saving this.

It might just save my life one day.

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Response to tomkoop (Original post)

Tue Jun 12, 2012, 12:07 PM

2. what helped me most was getting out of myself

when i quit thinking all about ME ME ME i started feeling better.

practice this daily with everyone you meet, it will change your attitude in no time and heal most of your 'troublesome' relationships faster than you think possible

Seek to comfort, rather than be comforted,
Seek to understand, rather than be understood,
Seek to love, rather than be loved


When I quit trying to get everyone to understand ME, when I quit trying to make everyone around me give ME comfort, when I quit trying to get everyone to LOVE ME and turned it around, my relationships and my feelings about myself changed radically.

Try it, it may be the miracle in your life that it was in mine.....

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Response to NMDemDist2 (Reply #2)

Thu Jun 21, 2012, 04:59 AM

4. I just printed this out

and on my next trip into the bathroom mirror, it is to be taped there. Such a perfect description of a life of service, which, for me, is my highest aspiration.

Thank you.

I wish I could spend more time around here, but except for the middle of the night, If there's a meeting, online or F2F, that's where I'm likely to be found. I think I went careening past 100 meetings sometime last month.

Considering that one of my partners is facing cancer now, this could not be a more timely reminder. It really isn't all about me after all.

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Response to tomkoop (Original post)

Thu Jun 21, 2012, 04:55 AM

3. Excellent share!

I'm actually a co-addict. Nar-anon to be specific. And, contrary to someone's popular opinion, we aren't the well ones who put up with you "losers" but in fact, we are also losers, even desperate losers. And as someone who is just now formulating who I am without a label, ie: Mother, Partner, Enabler, etc., this post is very relevant to me even though I don't drink or take drugs. My drug is enabling, being a Codie in the words of another Nar-anoner.

I'm not enabling today. Today (and tomorrow and so on) I'm a recovering enabler, trying to figure out just who I am after all.

The hilarious (not) thing is that enablers are almost always over achievers, giving their 110%, no one would call us losers, looking in from the outside but boy have we lost or given away so much of ourselves. Now I have to figure out how to be just good enough for me, whoever me turns out to be.

Thank you for that wonderful share. This is why I stop by DU these days. I had to give up politics in the pursuit of my mental health, but I love coming to see my peeps on the A&R group. You guys are the best people on earth. I wonder how many times you and all the others looking in have had that said to you? I truly believe there are no better people than the people who work the 12 steps, in any of it's myriad forms. They aren't perfect but they are in progress and that IS good enough!

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Response to tomkoop (Original post)

Thu Jun 21, 2012, 12:10 PM

5. This

is about my favorite DU post of all time.

Thank you , Tom

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