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Sun May 13, 2012, 10:43 AM

I need to know: is there a 12-step program for

Persons who steal? I'm not talking about shoplifters, but people who steal from family members.

I ask because someone who stole (items worth over $2,000) from me is claiming she is getting help in a 12-step program, but hasn't provided details.

13 replies, 2080 views

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Reply I need to know: is there a 12-step program for (Original post)
Ilsa May 2012 OP
Rhiannon12866 May 2012 #1
Ilsa May 2012 #3
Ilsa Jul 2012 #5
Electric Monk May 2012 #2
Ilsa May 2012 #4
LenoreLoudinnnuj Aug 2012 #6
monkeyofstick Oct 2012 #7
Ilsa Feb 2013 #8
irisblue Feb 2013 #9
Ilsa Feb 2013 #11
NMDemDist2 Feb 2013 #10
nvme Mar 2013 #12
Ilsa Mar 2013 #13

Response to Ilsa (Original post)

Sun May 13, 2012, 05:45 PM

1. Well, I'm in AA and an old-timer there is always saying

That active alcoholics and addicts lie, cheat and steal, and I've heard many stories from members who say that they stole to support their habits, often from friends and family. I obviously don't know the circumstances of the person you're writing about, but I hope this helps.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #1)

Sun May 13, 2012, 11:32 PM

3. Thank you. Sage advice. nt

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #1)

Fri Jul 27, 2012, 09:57 PM

5. Update: yes, this turns out to be

the real reason for the need for a 12-step program: drugs.
I don't know what she is using or for how long, but her drug abuse might be responsible for her pregnancy going poorly. She's due in a month and has an extremely underweight fetus with a couple of heart conditions. I expect a sad, grim outcome.

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Response to Ilsa (Original post)

Sun May 13, 2012, 09:11 PM

2. There are, but as with all 12 step programs, ymmv

Sometimes it seems as if there is a 12-step program for everything. What started as a method of helping alcoholics deal with their addiction has expanded to help those who are addicted to gambling, shopping, eating, drugs, stealing, lying, sex and more.
http://www.selfhelpandimprovement.com/selfhelp/12stepprogram.html

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Response to Electric Monk (Reply #2)

Mon May 14, 2012, 07:16 AM

4. Thank you. I'll keep in mind

that it is a possibility. Yet, it seems unlikely to be the case in this location.

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Response to Ilsa (Original post)

Fri Aug 31, 2012, 05:03 PM

6. Persons who steal?

 

people who steal from family members.

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Response to Ilsa (Original post)

Sat Oct 20, 2012, 08:39 PM

7. liers

Anyone that is getting help in ANY program would work on this.

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Response to Ilsa (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 08:07 AM

8. If interested, here is the outcome for this situation:

I had to criminally charge her. I initially got support, then I got heat and denial from her family.

She spent two nights in jail, then was bonded out. She has had her day in court and has a felony conviction now. She had to pay restitution to a pawn shop, fines, work community service, and will be on probation for up to five years. She will be randomly drug-tested (oxycontin, I think, was her drug of abuse). I don't know what requirements are for her to attend meetings.

The baby was born early, but is okay. It appears that she lied about the progress of the pregnancy to elicit sympathy.

The good folks here in this forum helped me see through the manipulations and deceptions. Thank you.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #8)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:32 AM

9. Ilsa

this must have been hard for you.

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Response to irisblue (Reply #9)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 03:35 PM

11. Thank you.

At one point, I wasn't certain that my MIL would ever speak to me again, and she was one who told me to file charges. "You have to stop her," she told me and my husband. And then a few weeks later, she was defending her, saying I had accused her...
She finally got on board after the gal stole her checkbook and another $6,000 from her.
BTW, the gal stole my wedding rings from my jewelry box. I was storing them while I renovated my home.

I hope the young woman gets help, stays clean, but I haven't heard from her. There hasn't been an apology for the trouble she caused.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #8)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 12:21 AM

10. thanks for the update

hope you are OK

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Response to Ilsa (Original post)

Sun Mar 10, 2013, 08:31 PM

12. I have been through similar with my oldest brother

It broke my heart when he stole my High school graduation ring. My mother worked soo hard for that ring. He once conned my mother out 2k worth of her mortgage payments. The bank was going to foreclose on her house. I had to pay it. He almost got my mother shot by police.( told his shrink he was going to kill someon while they talked on the phone. he said he had means and opportunity. the shrink called 911 and kept my brother on the phone while the cops arrived) He walked out of his bedroom with a machete raised and my mother walked out of her bedroom to see "what the hell all the hell was all the commotion was about"! the police see weapon, they draw theirs and yell at my mom to drop to the ground. Good thing her maternal instinct was stronger than her respect for authority. This is just one of many stories. the point is CALL THE DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES IF YOU SUSPECT HER TO BE USING DRUGS! THE SAFETY OF THE INFANT IS MOST IMPORTANT.

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Response to nvme (Reply #12)

Sun Mar 10, 2013, 10:43 PM

13. I did. I turned her in to

Child Protective Services and Adult Protective Services because of the drugs and because she stole from her 70yo grandmother, took her car on a 300 mile round trip without her permission when g-ma was hospitalized, had a fender-bender in it, etc. They investigated it, and I am not certain if the case is closed yet. Normally, a letter is sent out with notice of final disposition, but I haven't received one yet.

I was told that they are drug-testing her as a part of her probation.

I'm really sorry you and your mom had to go through some much crap.

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