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Mon May 7, 2012, 11:52 AM

cunning baffling mysterious

thursday i spent a long sweaty time doing my full dress yard work. 10 years ago, i'd have had a single beer, a shower then gone to lie down in the cooler area of the yard and enjoyed the beauty and maybe a nap. a single beer. over the last 6 years, one increased...a lot, then i discovered vodka and champaign and mimosas. i transfered my propensity from other addictions to alcohol addiction. yesterday, ms wonderful, who has a 25 year chip and had been off sugar for almost a year, caffeine for 6 months, and i went to a surprise birthday party for a friend at patio bar. first time at a bar for me since i got sober. we walked around, meeting and greeting, i held my water glass, slipping slowly. ms wonderful, had already promised me if it got too hard, we'd be out in a flash. i did ok. afterwords, we went to a big box hardware store, there, in large crowds of sweaty gardner's and home improver's i got freaked out. time to leave sweetie--we'll get the rest of the stuff when it's not so crowded. it was about these 2 points 1-post yard work cold beer. i really really do not want to start that again. i know that one isn't enough, and a case isn't gonna work either. i like the chips i got in my lap as i type this. 2 patio bars. i really enjoyed watching the world go by on high street as we ate dinner and talked and laughed and talked with our friends. my sponsor is gonna get an earful. can i get some experience/strength/hope from anyone here? i know life can be complicated, but i am glad i'm sober and clean, it's really better

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Reply cunning baffling mysterious (Original post)
irisblue May 2012 OP
oldhippydude May 2012 #1
Rhiannon12866 May 2012 #2
irisblue May 2012 #3
tavalon Jun 2012 #4
Old Codger Aug 2012 #5

Response to irisblue (Original post)

Mon May 7, 2012, 12:27 PM

1. a supportive mate, a good sponsor, and life..

you are fortunate indeed.. great post

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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Tue May 8, 2012, 02:22 AM

2. I try to avoid the triggers

You know, people, places and things, but that wasn't all that hard for me, since I was an isolating drinker. I didn't drink very often when I went out, since I'd have to drive. But one thing that did come as a surprise to me, that I forgot, was cooking. I know women in sobriety who can't spend much time in the kitchen because that's where they drank, and I was one of them. I'd drink while I was cooking and didn't feel like eating when I was done. Fortunately, I can still cook without drinking, tend to focus on what I have to do next and the drinking was almost unconscious, but the first time I made a holiday turkey, while sober, it was hard, pretty gross and it took me forever, LOL.

If I decide to go someplace where I know there'll be drinking, I have to get myself in the right frame of mind beforehand and keep the tools I've learned in mind. You did the right thing, bringing an advocate who understands and leaving if it gets tough. I've gone to a couple of reunions of the childhood friends I used to spend summers with and the alcohol took me by surprise the first time.

But I was fortunate to have my tools uppermost in my mind and the two friends I was closest to are aware and sympathetic which is a huge help. I just remember that if I was still drinking that I wouldn't have been able to make the long drive and I hung out with my good friend who doesn't drink. I rode with her and helped her carry leftovers back to her house and she was all worried about asking me to hold a leftover bottle of wine (among other things) while she drove the back roads of Vermont, LOL.

I'm planning on going again this summer and I know that I'll be fine. I know I won't be tempted, since I remember where drinking brought me and having the support of good friends who understand and don't judge makes me feel safe.

Good for you for running this by your sponsor who knows you and will certainly have suggestions and the support that you need...

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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Tue May 8, 2012, 12:37 PM

3. thanks for the feedbacks and support.

i still gotta cut the freaking grass, and rework the flower beds. so , putting it out here to you all, decaf peach ice tea, heavy ice after, water during the work time. ms wonderful, who will call me on my stuff, was a huge help during the the bar stuff, didn't hover, introduced (shy me to people i didn't know) it may/ may not happen fora while again, and for me, just for me, i do/did love sitting on a patio bar, watching the world pass by, talking, laughing and eating. i do know that going alone would be a very very bad move, so none of that....trigger identified.
women as isolation drinkers....it did make laundry/house cleaning easier ya know...sigh. so i thought. life moves on and better


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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Thu Jun 21, 2012, 05:03 AM

4. Avoid the triggers

and be kind to yourself.

What can you put in place of that beer? It sounds like yardwork isn't your favorite thing, so rewarding yourself with non alcoholic or drug related rewards could be a solution. Other than that, I'd say, Breathe, Easy Does It, and everyone's perennial favorite, One Day At A Time.

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Response to irisblue (Original post)

Sun Aug 26, 2012, 08:41 PM

5. Sounds to me

Like you have a good handle on what you need to do and what you should not do. Best advice I have is stay away from slippery spots as much as is practical and hang on to that partner that is so supportive.

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