Wed Sep 26, 2012, 05:08 AM
MysticLynx (51 posts)
focused on resolving issues, but a little glimpse of history with a side of irony and humor.
Back in the day when our sisters-in-arms—witches—were being persecuted, the Malleus Maleficarum (kind of a witch-hunter’s guidebook) warned readers of the ways in which we could hide or steal penises. Sadly, feminists traded this important magical power to sea sirens who—to this day—use cold bodies of water to take their prey via shrinkage. In more modern times, without our witchy powers to take the penis by force, feminists have been forced to use more secretive methods. There’s no reason to hide it anymore… the soybean is our current weapon of choice. You didn’t actually think the feminist/vegetarian link was a coincidence, did you?! I mean, tofu is disgusting—of course we had an ulterior motive there. One brave man figured us out—“Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality”—but we have the government on our side. So no worries, sisters!
Another take on the same topic
That's right, ladies. We've got penis-shrinking power now. You probably didn't know that, on account of being so super-stoked about our recently discovered magic lady parts that shut down rape sperm, but really, the superpowers we possess are practically limitless. (Except for not having the power to shut down rape altogether. Or the power to get equal pay for equal work. Or the power to ... Aw, hell, you know.)
I'd like to tell you that Rush Limbaugh is alone in his theory that his dick is small because of feminism. But alas, no. Rep. Allen West of Florida has a similar theory:
4 replies, 1365 views
Not exactly (Original post)
|Gormy Cuss||Sep 2012||#1|
Response to MysticLynx (Original post)
Sat Sep 29, 2012, 12:16 PM
Gormy Cuss (30,884 posts)
1. The first time I heard that tofu was dangerous was from a male tea bagger
Last edited Sat Sep 29, 2012, 01:13 PM - Edit history (1)
who reads World News Daily. He railed against it and threw out a lot of "facts" about the dangers of soy. Many of the things he said I knew were wrong and wrong in that clever propaganda way of mixing facts with faulty conclusions. His other, wilder claims I checked out later in the day and all came back first to a WND article. That's when I figured out that his real concern was the "fact" that he hadn't mentioned, penis shrinkage.
This guy was on the arm of a relative and it wasn't the time or place to challenge him unfortunately.
Response to Gormy Cuss (Reply #1)
Sat Sep 29, 2012, 01:09 PM
obamanut2012 (12,373 posts)
2. Posters were ranting on Jillian Michael's page about that once
ie Tofu Shrinkage Factor, and why men should ONLY eat meat because of this, and it's a plot to emasculate mean. Jillian blocked a whole bunch of them, and told them they were idiots.
Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #2)
Sun Sep 30, 2012, 11:34 PM
FloridaJudy (9,465 posts)
3. More likely to be hormones and hormone analogs in the environment
From factory farming, plastic manufacturing, and ~gasp~ birth control pills. Whatever it is, it's probably why girls are hitting puberty earlier and earlier every year, as well as causing any alleged penile shrinkage.
Soy probably has little to do with it.