Is there a proper word to use for non-LGBT folks that is universally not offensive?

[Zorra]

Are the words straight, hetero, and heterosexual PC ok?

Or do some non-LGBT folks find these words offensive?

And what is the preferred word?

Honestly, this is a dilemma for me.

Input from Allies greatly appreciated!

[Ruby the Liberal]

1. This ally will answer to just about anything.

Just don't call me late for dinner.

[Zorra]

8. Deal. I'll call you

Ⓐwesome!

[Mz Pip]

2. I'm not offended by any of those words

and am sort of surprise that anyone would be. What else would I be called? Old straight white lady seems a bit wordy.

[enlightenment]

3. I don't mind any of those terms -

of course I'm notoriously 'un-PC' about many things and don't get my knickers in a twist about things unless they are deliberately designed to offend.

Most of my LGBT friends use 'straight', if that helps any . . .

[Behind the Aegis]

4. Most just use "straight."

Though, it is not an ideal term either, because the implication is the "other" is "bent" or some how "not correct." Bent and bender are actual gay slurs in other English-speaking parts of the world which reference gays. "Hetero" is ok, depending on its use. Usually as a shortened form in a discussion. I do the same with "homo." "Ally" is always a good word, but some use it to label anyone who is supportive of the GLBT community, no matter his/her sexual orientation. I, however, use "ally" to refer to non-GLBT people who are supportive of the cause.

[msongs]

9. hmm gay means lighthearted/carefree. what's the opposite of that :-) nt

[dmallind]

11. Dour. Stolid. Hmm....

[Waltons_Mtn]

14. My answer to your question:

Republicans!

[Behind the Aegis]

16. LOL!

Here is what antonym finder says... depressing, cheerless, uncheerful

[Kali]

20. yeahbut

back in my hippy days, straights were what the cool people called squares (and even older one!)

[Behind the Aegis]

21. Shows the evolution of the word.

Of course, we still have terms like "straight-laced," and "strait and narrow," both of which, though not slurs, can be a less than positive comment about someone.

[Kalidurga]

5. I don't really like labels, they really don't say much at all...

I think it is weird that we even label sexual preferences. I don't see the purpose unless we are interested in the person, sexually. We don't generally label other types of preferences, unless it is food which is also weird, but a bit more necessary if you want to invite someone over for dinner, might be nice to know if they are on Atkins or a vegan.

What if we labeled people by their hobbies now that would be kind of funny. Hey lookie here comes a gardener, movie buff, crossword puzzler.

[William769]

6. I myself think straight or heterosexual is fine.

But shouldn't non Gay people (damn theres another one) be asked this?

Hetro sound to much like...

Just my two cents.

[Zorra]

13. Well, I'm playing it safe, specifically asking community and allies to weigh in here

in our forum.

I think straight is OK, but I just want to be sure because I don't want to offend anyone.

I just discovered that another seemingly innocuous slang term referring to non-LGBT folks was highly offensive to some people so I want to know for sure that don't use a word that is not considered a slur. Straight is also a slang word, so I'm not sure if it's considered a slur by some non-lgbt folks.

And I really don't like the words homosexual or homo, like many of us, so I'm wondering if non-LGBT folks are offended by hetero or heterosexual.

[William769]

30. I totally agree.

[stevenleser]

7. PFLAGGER! :-)

[dmallind]

10. never found anyone object to "straight" who is so,

When you think about it it could be mildly offensive the other way since if you aren't straight you are bent (where the distinction comes from I believe), or crooked or twisted - none of them pleasant terms generally speaking.

Heterosexual is probably safest to avoid offense in either direction, but feels a tad clinical IMO. Other than "breeders" I can't say I've seen a term for heterosexuality that has ever raised hackles.

[Neoma]

23. Too many homosexuals have babies to call heterosexuals breeders.

It's not as if the equipment is gone forever when you're in or out of the closet.

[Pab Sungenis]

33. The only problem with "straight" is that it implies

that those that aren't "straight" are "crooked" or "bent."

Sort of like using "normal."

I accept "straight" as the least offensive term we're likely to find, however.

[hlthe2b]

12. Any of those are fine, IMO... But....since we are on the topic....

referring to heterosexuals (usually women) as "breeders"is exceedingly offensive to me. I find it to be incredibly derisive--diminishing a woman to no more than her reproductive capabilities. Just sayin.... Fortunately, it has been a long time since I've seen this occur on DU.

[Neoma]

24. It depends on who you're saying it to.

I don't mean to women. I mean towards male Morman polygamists in Mexico.

[hlthe2b]

28. My response was to the OP--i.e., what was general acceptable term for non-GLBT men and women...

While using the term "breeder" would be unacceptable in general usage towards men, it is about as repugnant as it gets when used as a blanket term towards straight women.

Your usage in reference to extreme multiparous and/or polygamous individuals who do so as part of a religious group-- is quite different.

[Neoma]

29. Yeah, I didn't see that other thread about it.

I don't lurk in here often. Never really seen this argument either.

[mitchtv]

15. I prefer "strait"

I don't like the connotation of being "not straight". this of course only works in written english

[dipsydoodle]

17. I've never been aware

of straight, whatever, people giving any thought to the matter. Don't think it has any importance. Call me anything you like - won't ruffle my feathers.

[mike_c]

18. I can't speak for others, but the only terms that offend me...

...are terms used in an obviously derogatory context. I don't mind being called straight, hetero, heterosexual, or whatever-- I'm struggling to think of "whatevers," LOL-- but any of those terms can become irritating when coupled with derogatory contexts like "hetero asshat." Otherwise, just as a descriptor of my sexuality, I'm fine with just about anything.

[Kali]

19. straight is fine with me

hetero is Ok but verging on medical or scientific (and heterosexual is preferred for those kinds of conversations) but whatever...it is the context and intent that really matter in these things anyway.

[jberryhill]

22. "Sweetie" works for me

I don't care who calls me that.

[Neoma]

25. My husband calls himself straight.

I'm not particularly offended by it, since I grew up with straight people calling themselves straight people. They just say that because it's a shorter word than heterosexual, and they're lazy talkers sometimes.

[HooptieWagon]

26. None are offensive to me, but straight is probably acceptable to all.

[demmiblue]

27. I don't find any of those terms offensive.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I used any of those words IRL to describe myself.

On DU, I may have used hetero... I don't remember. Regarding issues that have affected the LGBT community, I think I mostly used the term: 'ally'.

Call me a breeder, and I will have to break out this:

[saras]

31. No. THere are no words for ANYTHING significant that are universally not offensive.

...because if it matters, then it matters to someone else that it NOT be seen that way, but be seen a DIFFERENT way. And vocabulary is one of the primary ways we humans enforce this.

I think you just have to choose who you are willing to offend.

To some, "straight" implies "vanilla", and they don't like it.
To others, "straight" implies there's more than one option, and they don't like it.
Good luck finding a single word that pleases both groups.

"Hetero" implies they will go for any sex that isn't their own, which isn't true for many of them, but I think only linguists and aspies care that much about that specificity of meaning.

"Heterosexual" implies the same thing, but also requires saying "sexual", which some will find offensive, and to others may be offensive for its insistence on defining them by their preferred style of fuck buddy.

But if you're just aiming at the middle, it's not that hard. Nearly anything works - in my experience, heteros don't find "breeder" nearly as offensive as GBLT people do, but it's a dated term anyways, and points to children and not fucking as definitive.

But there ARE going to be people who are offended, because it is a route to political power.

[Pab Sungenis]

32. "Muggles."

(grin, duck, and run)

[Fearless]

34. I would go with their first name or Mr. / Ms. XYZ

But I know what you mean. I think in my experience, straight is most common. Heterosexual is more clinical instead of conversational. IMHO of course.

[johnnypneumatic]

35. to me "straight" is offensive

it implies inferiority to anyone who isn't "straight", I won't use it.
"homosexual" is offensive.
While "heterosexual" is not ideal, no one has come up with a better word for me to use instead.

[Bohunk68]

36. I now exclusively use,

"non-gay" because it describes from "our" point of view and often annoys those who refer to us with derogatory terms.