I have a serious question about verbiage.

[flamin lib]

Yeah, I'm a straight male but was an early accepter of sexual identity. My forty year old daughter's Godfather was gay and the dearest man I've ever known. I say 'was' because he is no longer with us and I miss him damn near every day.

That said, I understand the LGBT terms but lately have seen the term 'queer' included. Is that a different designation of sexual identity or a catch all or the embrace of a previously pejorative word? I'm not actively involved in local LGBT community but occasionally meet old friends and surely don't want to embarrass myself or hurt others inadvertently.

Thanks for the education and help.

[HappyinLA]

1. That is a good question

My West Hollywood gays tell me that it can be 'queer', but more often than not it is now used to mean 'questioning'. I think a lot of it is age related. The older guys will often stick to 'queer'. I honestly have never talked to any of my lesbian friends about it.

Last conversation I had on it was with Joshua Gershick who is part of the USC One Archives and he's on the 'questioning' side of it.

[flamin lib]

2. Can your elaborate on the 'questioning'? Questioning what or who about what? Sorry to be dense. nt

[HappyinLA]

4. meaning

they are 'questioning' there sexuality. Straight/gay/bi/pan etc. Sort of a catch all category for folks who aren't sure.

[flamin lib]

5. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for your answer and patience.

[Behind the Aegis]

3. "Queer" has always been a bit of a sitcky wicket.

In some cases, people use 'queer' so they don't have to recite the alphabet when discussing our issues or get accused of sexism by short handing and using 'gay.' The word is gender neutral, so many of the younger generation use it in order not to "tie themselves" to a particular identity. People around my age (46) use it as a form of protest and a reclaiming of the word, as it were, much the same way we reclaimed the inverted pink triangle.

My suggestion is, unless you are really close to these people, avoid using the word, until you are given the green light. Think of it as being able to call an adult by his/her first name when you were younger, if the adult said it was OK, you could do it, but understood, there may be limitations as to when and where you could do it without raising eyebrows (or in this case, causing offense). Of course, rather than play the waiting game, you could simply ask and let them explain the nuances as it applies to their environment.

[flamin lib]

6. Thank you for the answer.

I wouldn't dream of using that or any other term when with my friends. Sexual ID labels aren't necessary for social interaction any more than racial denotation is. My need for education was more for how to respond/react/understand to someone I don't know who uses the term when talking about themselves. I mean, if we really are friends terminology doesn't enter the conversation 'cause we know each other.

Anyway, what you said makes a lot of sense and I appreciate your response.

[DemocraticWing]

7. I use queer as a sexual identity, and as a catch-all for LGBTQ people in general.

[Fearless]

8. Being of a younger generation...

I find it most in use when specifically regarding societal norms regarding gender (ie. the full term being "gender-queer", using the word for it's original meaning as "different" or "out of the norm" but in a positive way). Of my peers, it is most frequently used by those who seek to show that they are more gender fluid in regards to gender-normative behavior... That is a male who enjoys to varying degrees stereotypically female things (including but not exclusively sex with other men), or the opposite for females.

It is not used as a pejorative or even necessarily an empowering word. It shares slightly rebellious undertones as the person bucks stereotypical gender expectations.

Of course, that said, it's a label, which means it's a generalization. When it comes down to these identifying words, I always say... defer to the word that the person likes to call themselves. I, for instance, don't label myself as queer. I label myself as gay. It fits, it works, it's comfortable. So, to each their own.

[flamin lib]

9. Thank you for the thoughtful and personal response.

[BeeBee]

10. Personally, I have never liked the word queer.

I'm old enough to remember when it was used as an insult, similar to the word fag. That said, I have volunteered quite a bit over the past several years with LGBTQQIA youth and I have found that for many younger people the word does not have the same connotations. For them, queer is sort of a catch-all word that's easier to say than LGBTQQIA.

[Smarmie Doofus]

11. *Anything* is easier to say than LGBTQQIA. n/t

[Betty Karlson]

12. "Queer" in this context is short for "genderqueer"

which refers to those who do not feel comfortable identifying as cis-male or cis-female.

In the spectre of sexual orientations, there is something called bisexuality (or various degrees thereof).

Genderqueer is the equivalent of that within the spectre of gender identities.

It is NOT the same as transgender: transgender individuals DO identify as cis-male or cis-female, but find that their body doesn't match their identity. Genderqueer are those individuals who are fine with their body, but not with society's archetypical expectations of behaviour from individuals of that gender.

Think for instance of the son of actress Susan Sarendon: he sometimes wears dresses - not because he feels like a woman, but because he honestly cannot conform himself to the idea that men cannot wear dresses.

[LostOne4Ever]

13. It is my understanding that it is a catch all term

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]It is meant to include all the different forms of sexuality and gender that are different cis-heterosexuality without naming them specifically. Terms like Pan-sexual, Asexual*, two-spirit,Poly sexual, bigender, trigender, gender queer, agender, and so on.

Sources:

https://internationalspectrum.umich.edu/life/definitions
http://geneq.berkeley.edu/lgbt_resources_definiton_of_terms#queer
http://www.lgbt.ucla.edu/documents/LGBTTerminology.pdf

Of course some of these things were later added explicitly when it went from LGBTQ to LGBTQIA.

LGBTQIA=Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trangender, queer/questioning, intersex, Asexual/Agender/ and on occasion I have heard the A used for aromantic and ally




*On one of the sites I visit (AVEN) there is a debate on whether asexuality qualify as being queer or not. Some people (of a variety of orientations) there will argue vehemently that it should not be included, and others will just as passionately advocate it should be included. YMMV.[/font]

[Smarmie Doofus]

14. How about "sexual minorities" instead?

Seven syllables, total.

As opposed to a HUNDRED and seven.


Communicating precisely ( or within an eyelash of precisely) the same idea.


Of course "queer" is only *one* syllable. But due to it's long history in the language and......given it's recent adoption by some ( but not all) elements of the LGBT, etc. movement..... its use sets the stage for all kinds of confusion.

[nightscanner59]

15. I also have some recoil from having the term perjoratively utilized in my youth,

usually preceded by "you fuckin'..." followed by "queer", "faggot", etc. Often came with injurious physical abuse. I'm glad such got hurled back in the homophobe's faces with "We're here, We're queer, get over it". Still, the term gives me pause having serious PTSD issues after growing up the only known "queer" in a redneck town.
Back then I'd never dreamed there'd be a day we'd even have a president who said "It gets better". Thank Heaven.

[Chitown Kev]

16. Everyone is on point

with the modern connotations of the word queer.

It is a reclaimed word, though, from its' days as a pejorative; for most gays that were out at the time of the White Night Riots and definitely pre-Stonewall gays, "queer" is a pejorative every bit as much as the f-word.

[noamnety]

17. Can I tag onto this subject?

I was asked to be the GSA advisor for our school this year. I did that a decade ago, then it morphed into an overall diversity club based on the group's interests, and then lost focus and faded out. Now I don't know if people still refer to these groups as GSA. I feel like we need to be more inclusive because we have a high percentage of openly transitioning students. Any suggestions for what to call it?

[nomorenomore08]

18. I agree that straight people should use great caution in using the word "queer" for individuals.

Whereas in other contexts - like referring to "queer studies" for instance - it's probably a lot less likely to cause offense.