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Sun Dec 2, 2012, 10:13 AM

If you wrote something (Young Adult Gay Novella) and people said it was good enough to publish...

Last edited Sun Dec 2, 2012, 06:22 PM - Edit history (1)

Would you think about it?

On edit: I've had a few people read it (including a couple of published authors) and here is the feedback I got:

KC:
If you ever, and I mean EVER, say to me again that you aren't sure if you should be writing, I am going to rip your arm out of its socket and beat you up with it!!!!!


Eden:
OMG! You're a writer, all right. You've got a great voice! You've captured me from the get go. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your story.

Is it okay if I beta it? That is, correct typos, make suggestions, edit, that sort of thing? Trust me, this is cleaner and has less things to notate than lot of stories I get from published authors. I can send a sample of what I mean if you'd like.


Will,

The world needs more M/M YA and this totally rocks. Don't be overwhelmed by the comments, most are merely suggestions or proofing, and the rest are me telling you when I really liked something.

You've got solid talent, and when you finish this, if you'd like to publish, I'll help you find a publisher and submit the story.


I just wanted to tell you that your work in progress is better than many books I've paid for. I really enjoyed it and was sad when it ended.

---
Marc:

FUCKING EXCELLENT!!! I totally agree with the other feedback you've had - it is way better than a lot of the fiction I've paid for. I got so into it that I felt cheated when I realised it was incomplete LOL

Having read the original short, I can see why you've put the summer-camp in there, but It's a cool story on its own. I can already imagine you developing Addy's story as a separate book.

I think you have a real talent for creating realistic, relatable characters - I wish I had had a friend like Benny!

I'm keen to see this story completed - thank you for trusting me with your draft.

You're awesome and your Dad was wrong!!!!


Review

Hello Mr. Parkinson. I just finished Pitch. I liked it. Here are my thoughts:The story was good and the characters were interesting to get to know. Loved Benny, hated Becca even after her apologies and would have killed Kevin if I had a chance. Loved Taylor too. Didn't get great insight into Jackson to really connect with him though. The dialog was engaging enough that it kept me interested.

Okay, I'm back. So, as I was saying, I wasn't done. Now comes the hard part. Have you considered a switch of POV?
1. I felt like I didn't get to know Jackson and when I did get a glimpse of him it came all tumbling out in one long confession. And still it wasn't enough for me. Maybe if it's broken down throughout the story, the confession to Taylor would be more believable and not so well put together. I hope I'm explaining myself. It just seemed a bit too 'perfect' after almost two years of watching Taylor live with this 'unrequited' love.
2. Although I hated Becca, I did appreciate when she confessed to Taylor why she acted that way. I loved that he went to her so that he could get a glimpse of Jackson as he was throughout those two years. But I think all the events that she included, could be combined with Jackson’s POV, thus giving the reader a broader picture of the extent to which Becca’s interference halted their getting together.
I enjoyed the story and the overall message it conveyed. The characters were great although they sometimes came across as to serious for their age. But maybe that’s because of everything they have gone through and if that is the reason behind it, I can accept that because that was my impression and the reason I overlooked it. Just thought I should mention it.
The pace was okay and I liked that you included a different set of events that added to the story – like the camp, baseball (which turned out I was right that Jackson WAS looking for Taylor in the crowd) , the whole Kevin fiasco and the accident.
And last but not least, you better have an outline set up for Benny’s story because that is one that I want to read. I know this is your first work and considering that I found it to be very good. You managed to make me connect to a main character (yes, I got misty eyed with Taylor) and feel for the other characters as well (eve if it was an urge to smack Becca and beat the *beep* out of Kevin) and encompass a whole two years while still keeping me engaged until the end. I am very proud of you my friend.

(After I explained why the character didn't get a PoV of his own)
And I understand about POV's and now that you mentioned what the purpose behind it is, I understand much better.
That's good. It makes it more believable that way.

Seymour James:
Ok so I got to 50% last night and all I want to do today is sit down and keep reading. Wiiiillllll it's really quite wonderful. It's breaking my heart right now with all these "feels" for Taylor and what he is going through. This is a story which resonates with me on so many levels. Working with the kids, having a son who has been bullied, a parents love and feeling of helplessness in this situation. Congratulations, and please don't even try and sell yourself short on this because this is an incredibly beautiful story.

Lis
First...it's hard for me to get into the mindset of a teenager cause I just want to smack them. For their stupid thinking and their stupid actions.
Second, Becca I would have laid out flat when I figured out what she was doing. But that's just me.
Third, Benny----Always there, huh? Loved him!!
Which brings me to Forth---At the very end, I couldn't read all the words cause it didn't fit the format, so I missed something that happened between Benny & Addy...I think they were kissing and Taylor caught them. ***sigh** (you have GOT TO WRITE THEIR STORY!!!)


Seymour James
As I think I have mentioned, I didn't just like it, I loved it! There was not one moment when I wasn't into the story Will. Beautiful characters, who I felt really invested in.
You so perfectly represented the evilness that is Kevin.
I loved Tay and I also wanted to give him a good kick up the butt when he so readily went along with Kevin without questioning more than I felt he should.
Benny is just the bomb! Totally delightful!
Now for what it is worth, this is my opinion, and in the scheme of things my opinion means shit, but because you asked for honesty, here goes. I don't know that I would have had Benny depicted as so blatantly "out" at the end of the story (even though I had an idea). Whilst I liked the kiss I maybe would have liked to have seen Tay watching them lean into each other as they were talking or walking away, does that make sense? Just me ok? Also, when reading I had the impression that Addy was a bit younger, but because I was in such a hurry to read it I may have missed his age. Anyway this is not a criticism at all just an observation because I FREAKING LOVED IT!

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Arrow 8 replies Author Time Post
Reply If you wrote something (Young Adult Gay Novella) and people said it was good enough to publish... (Original post)
WillParkinson Dec 2012 OP
xchrom Dec 2012 #1
Old Codger Dec 2012 #2
Bluenorthwest Dec 2012 #3
historylovr Dec 2012 #4
Lisa D Dec 2012 #5
LeftofObama Dec 2012 #6
intheflow Dec 2012 #7
MineralMan Dec 2012 #8

Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 10:16 AM

1. absolutely.

there's sure to be rejection -- but that's part of the process -- and not to be taken personally.

of course that's the hardest part.

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 10:32 AM

2. You Might Try

These people

https://kohopono.com/

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 10:39 AM

3. Will i would not think for a moment, I'd just pursue that idea full tilt...

as should you. Why not?

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 10:51 AM

4. Absolutely. Go for it!

And if you need a critique partner, pm me.

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 11:43 AM

5. Yes, I would definitely think about it.

Then I'd start taking steps to make it happen

I'd look for writing contests and enter them to get feedback from authors/editors as a first step.

Then I'd start looking for agents and send it out.

I'd look for local writer's conferences that have editor/agent appointments available so that I could pitch my manuscript and hopefully get an invitation to submit it to them.

I'd also explore digital publishing.

Good luck!

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 11:47 AM

6. No question!

Talent is talent. I wish you the best and I look forward to getting an autographed copy.

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 12:09 PM

7. YES!! YA's need positive peer role models!

Even if fictional! There have been a few very good YA books I've read in the past year or so with strong GLBTQ characters, and I think it's a growing sub-genre (the genre being YA). I work at a public library, so please do pursue - we need more in our stacks!!

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Response to WillParkinson (Original post)

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 04:46 PM

8. Absolutely!

These days, you might consider epublishing, as in Kindle, Nook, etc. You get more of the sale price and can use social media to publicize your book.

It's not a sure thing, but would be a lot less frustrating than the traditional publishing route.

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