HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Gender & Orientation » LGBT (Group) » I want to make clear.
Introducing Discussionist: A new forum by the creators of DU

Fri Nov 16, 2012, 08:41 PM

I want to make clear.

Elsewhere on DU, I've been called,along with others who frequent this group , "self-hating" , "self-loathing" , "closeted", "an oppressor" by absolute strangers who do not know me at all.

I'd like to declare here and now, that EVERYONE who knows me, knows I'm an out proud Lesbian. I keep no secrets. I re-write no history.

I live in a conservative rural area, and work with many in the livestock industry. ( I study and diagnose diseases of sheep). There may not be a more socially and politically conservative bunch than the people I see everyday.



They all know I'm gay.
I'm likely the only gay person most of these people (think) they've ever met.
I think its VERY important, personally and politically that the people I see, know that I'm gay, and I am happy about it.

I read somewhere, that straight people who know even one gay person, tend to be for equal rights. Its very important to me that the people who know my name, know I'm gay.

Out Proud, obvious, flaming lesbo homo queer dyke.
...and I use those terms when I'm with my homo homies. My Queer peers.

But I do not use THOSE particular words , say, at a rodeo.
Or at work.

Nevertheless, when I am at a rodeo, or at work, I am an out and proud and obvious lesbian.

It is insulting when people who dont know jack shit, infer that I'm self-loathing, and closeted. Insulting and very offensive.

Clearing the air. Some of us have recently been sorely misrepresented here on DU.
and it stinks.


9 replies, 1256 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 9 replies Author Time Post
Reply I want to make clear. (Original post)
Vanje Nov 2012 OP
William769 Nov 2012 #1
Fearless Nov 2012 #2
closeupready Nov 2012 #3
Vanje Nov 2012 #4
Marrah_G Nov 2012 #5
Bluenorthwest Nov 2012 #6
uppityperson Nov 2012 #7
dlwickham Nov 2012 #8
mitchtv Nov 2012 #9

Response to Vanje (Original post)

Fri Nov 16, 2012, 08:50 PM

1. Please don't get me started.

I'll leave it at that (at least for now).

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Fri Nov 16, 2012, 09:54 PM

2. You are absolutely right.

If we are not allowed to be who we are or if we are told how to act in certain situations by another, that is problematic. All should be able to act as they deem prudent at all times unless they are legitimately hurting others or themselves.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Fri Nov 16, 2012, 11:32 PM

3. Vanje, is it your feeling that lesbians have more the luxury of being out

than gay men do? I like you, so it should go without saying, I ask that in all seriousness. I don't believe I am personally acquainted with any strict, out lesbians. Oh, wait, yes I am, on second thought. She's as out as anyone I know, I suppose. But she runs a gay business, and has for many years now.

It seems very important to the gay men I know and meet that they surround themselves with "straight-acting, straight-appearing" individuals, even if those people are platonic friends. Or maybe that's just in my circles? Or is it an East Coast thing? ???

K&R

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to closeupready (Reply #3)

Sat Nov 17, 2012, 12:02 AM

4. Yes

I think Lesbians DO have an easier time being out.

For some very unfortunate sexist reasons.
Female sexuality is non-threatening , even thought of as non-existent.
So we Lez are not seen by men as threatening.
Straight men ( who still rule the world, I'm afraid) are not threatened by lesbians. In fact straight men find the lesbian idea , a turn on.....( Dudes. Those porn women are'nt real lesbians. Those are actresses, doing what their boss says. Seriously. Check out the shoes. Maybe one lesbian wears stilleto heels, but two? Not bloody likely )

May I speak frankly here, and crudely. Straight males are freaked out by aggressive sexuality. They dont recognize ANY aggressive , forward sexuality in women, so , gay or straight, women are no threat. Not to be feared. Not even to be acknowledged.

On the other hand, forward (aggressive ) sexuality frightens our poor man friends.
When they imagine male sexuality targeted toward them , they LOSE their SHIT.

In short, they fear you as aggressive cock-monsters. They consider women (lesbians included) as passive non-sexual beings.

It sucks both ways.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Sat Nov 17, 2012, 01:05 PM

5. ~hugs~

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:12 AM

6. You are great.

Never a need to clear any air with me, Vanje.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:34 PM

7. As an ally, it really pisses me off, what is going on. Bullying is bullying and is wrong.

I think it is clear to all but a very few that you, and others here, are not the problem. And it stinks indeed.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2012, 06:12 PM

8. oppressor?

how in the hell are people who post here oppressing anyone

dumb asses

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Vanje (Original post)

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 03:46 PM

9. I luv my gay pal Vanje

don't let it get to you, anyone who says that is an idiot.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread