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Howler

(4,225 posts)
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 12:02 PM Sep 2012

I need you're opinion.

And if any of you are offended I apologize right now.
I have a couple that has spent two holidays with us and this will be the third one. They are gay but very conservative in action and manner.
Last year I gave my little brother (Who is also gay) the movie On Harvey Milk and he called me up and said he really enjoyed learning more about the gay community and civic hero's.
so I'm thinking about getting two copies of "Angels in America" and Harvey Feinsteins "Torch song trilogy" For this couple and my Brother for Christmas. Do you think it will offend the couple ????I don't want them to feel like i'm trying to label them or ...????? Lock them into ????? I really love them and I DON"T want to hurt or offend them in ANY way. Please you're feed back would be most welcome.

38 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I need you're opinion. (Original Post) Howler Sep 2012 OP
It sounds like a nice gesture, but just because we're gay doesn't mean we like gay movies. qb Sep 2012 #1
Oh They have other gifts to open too qb. Howler Sep 2012 #2
i would stay away from political movies of any vein if you dont know tbeir politics loli phabay Sep 2012 #13
Come on loli phabay!please Do tell! :) Howler Sep 2012 #23
Both are outstanding. William769 Sep 2012 #3
Christmas isn't that far away if you're a housewife William769. LOL! Howler Sep 2012 #4
Sounds like a 'duh' question, but are they 'out' to you closeupready Sep 2012 #5
I don't think thats a "Duh" question at all closeupready. Howler Sep 2012 #6
You are most welcome. :-) closeupready Sep 2012 #7
OOOOOOOH! Howler Sep 2012 #8
O. I need your opinion. Jerry_Pritikin Sep 2012 #9
Got them bookmarked Jerry. Howler Sep 2012 #10
Brilliant. Just brilliant. tkmorris Sep 2012 #11
dont know wbat to.say i have never seen them or care too loli phabay Sep 2012 #12
That is Howler Sep 2012 #14
Sometimes gay themed movies about AIDS can bring up heartbreaking frustrations nightscanner59 Sep 2012 #15
Thank you nightscanner59 Howler Sep 2012 #16
I can't watch gay themed movies about AIDS either, it just brings back too many sad moments. n/t RKP5637 Sep 2012 #17
I can only take comfort in the visitations I've had from spirits who passed on nightscanner59 Sep 2012 #19
I've had dreams like that too, and not only memory type dreams, but current topics too. n/t RKP5637 Sep 2012 #20
We're getting kind of off topic here, but current event dreams have turned into nightmares that nightscanner59 Sep 2012 #21
Damn, that is horrible. So many things that are really bad in this nation continue without RKP5637 Sep 2012 #22
Please don't worry about getting off topic on my account nightscanner59. Howler Sep 2012 #26
I hear ya nightscanner59 Howler Sep 2012 #29
Wow RKP5637! Howler Sep 2012 #28
Nightscanner59 Howler Sep 2012 #27
I totally understand RKP5637. Howler Sep 2012 #24
While it is sometimes difficult for me Bohunk68 Sep 2012 #18
I'm so sorry about you're and nightscanner59's,RKP5637!, loss Bohunk68. Howler Sep 2012 #25
I would say give them the movies. Gifts are, in part, a reflection of the gifter. GodlessBiker Sep 2012 #30
Thank you GodlessBiker... Howler Sep 2012 #33
I recommend in both cases 'Angels' and 'Torch Song' that you give the published plays to them Bluenorthwest Sep 2012 #31
OOOOOO! What a spectacular Idea Bluenorthwest!!!! Howler Sep 2012 #34
Angels Bohunk68 Sep 2012 #37
I watched "Angels " Twice I loved that movie so much Bohunk68. Howler Sep 2012 #38
I'd say go with your gut and trust your heart. Sounds like you're all close. pinto Sep 2012 #32
Oh Wow!!! Thank you Pinto! Howler Sep 2012 #35
I've given gifts of a novel (in print) and a film adaptation of the book (DVD). A neat combo. pinto Sep 2012 #36

qb

(5,924 posts)
1. It sounds like a nice gesture, but just because we're gay doesn't mean we like gay movies.
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 12:10 PM
Sep 2012

There is also a chance they've already seen them.
I would prefer an article of clothing, an item for my house, or other gift not related to my sexual orientation, that was chosen based on what the giver had learned about my tastes and sense of style.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
2. Oh They have other gifts to open too qb.
Reply to qb (Reply #1)
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 12:33 PM
Sep 2012

I try to give out at least one movie to each of my christmas people too. Last year it was the comedian Titus.This year I'd thought I'd get a little political considering Tim is a republican and I thought "Angels in America" has a very lucid counter point to republicanism as well as social commentary.

See I kinda felt exactly what you said here qb
"just because we're gay doesn't mean we like gay movies."
And it could be percieved as a somewhat bigoted over compensation or even spot lighting something thats really none of my business (Which is not my intent) but ....just sayin it's... delicate.
Thank you qb.

 

loli phabay

(5,580 posts)
13. i would stay away from political movies of any vein if you dont know tbeir politics
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 05:37 PM
Sep 2012

Personally i like creature features ill send you my details later

William769

(55,124 posts)
3. Both are outstanding.
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 01:15 PM
Sep 2012

You could ask in passing what they think about the two (Christmas is still a little ways off).

You know them the best. I myself would enjoy receiving these two as gifts (but thats just me). As long as other gifts are involved, I would think this is a non issue.

coming here and asking the question just goes to show how much you do care them and want to be conscious of their feelings. Good for you!

Howler

(4,225 posts)
4. Christmas isn't that far away if you're a housewife William769. LOL!
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 01:52 PM
Sep 2012

This is the season to catch the really good sales and beat the crowds so you can throughly enjoy it. Besides I keep my eye peeled for X-Mas presents all year long. snort! (I'm one of THOSE people.) My husband can't count it in my X-mas budget if I bought it in July! LOL!

I could do that, just ask Tim if he has seen those flicks...He's at work Sunday. Thanks William ...I'll do that.

I'm definitely going to give them to my little brother . I was also thinking of "running with scissors" but the main character's first sexual experience was a brutal rape and he didn't realize it because that baby was so young.So I'm torn with that one.Though my brother is middle aged and probably knows about sexual politics. ((((SHIVER)))) there just are some details a sister just doesn't really want to know about a brother!!! LOL!


Thank you William769 for you're advice and encouragement.

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
5. Sounds like a 'duh' question, but are they 'out' to you
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 01:56 PM
Sep 2012

as a gay couple? If so, I don't see how that could offend them. To the contrary...

Howler

(4,225 posts)
6. I don't think thats a "Duh" question at all closeupready.
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 02:30 PM
Sep 2012

It took Tim a couple of months to come out to me after we meant and another month before I got to meet Brian (His other half).
I knew already but you let people unfold at their own speed.
To do anything else I feel is an invasion of privacy.

I have other gay friends that are out and flaming that are very close but Tim and Brian as I said are very conservative in dress and manner so I find myself being extra careful to not tread on their feelings or take anything for granted.
Thank you closeupready.

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
7. You are most welcome. :-)
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 02:53 PM
Sep 2012

Some other good, if older, films they might appreciate: 'Wild Reeds', a French film from the 90's; 'Longtime Companion'; and more recent, 'Weekend', from the UK.

Cheers!

Howler

(4,225 posts)
8. OOOOOOOH!
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 03:44 PM
Sep 2012

I haven't even seen those three flicks!!! SWEEEETTTTT!
Thank you so much closeupready!!! I will most definitely check those movies out!

9. O. I need your opinion.
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 03:54 PM
Sep 2012

I would like to recommend a great website www.thecastro.net/ My stories on that site is
www.thecastro.net/street/memoriespage/pritikin/pritikin.html

and my blog contains stories of that era and many of my photographs including Harvey Milk.
www.jerrypritikin.blogspot.com

Cheers,
Jerry

Howler

(4,225 posts)
10. Got them bookmarked Jerry.
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 04:13 PM
Sep 2012

Uncle Donalds house! YAY!!! I will definitely check these out this weekend. Thank you!

WOW! You have been busy its a feast!!!!


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loli phabay

(5,580 posts)
12. dont know wbat to.say i have never seen them or care too
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 05:33 PM
Sep 2012

Not my kind of thing. Movies are very subjective they might prefer shrek or star wars i would try to get something like a gift card or mayby something that you know they like ie whiskey or wine.

nightscanner59

(802 posts)
15. Sometimes gay themed movies about AIDS can bring up heartbreaking frustrations
Sun Sep 9, 2012, 01:53 AM
Sep 2012

I was about to wring my friend's neck for bringing home Longtime Companion after I'd lost the love of my life to AIDS. Can I suggest if you want to go with gay themed movie gifts, try Queer Duck. It's hilarious and likely wouldn't offend any but the most homophobic.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
16. Thank you nightscanner59
Sun Sep 9, 2012, 11:52 AM
Sep 2012

You make a really good point.Perhaps giving out sad flicks aren't the way to go... after all it might be better to celebrate the holidays with laughter instead of tears.
I will check out Queer Duck! Thank you much for the suggestion!

nightscanner59

(802 posts)
19. I can only take comfort in the visitations I've had from spirits who passed on
Mon Sep 10, 2012, 12:31 PM
Sep 2012

Although I've only seen them in my dreams.

nightscanner59

(802 posts)
21. We're getting kind of off topic here, but current event dreams have turned into nightmares that
Mon Sep 10, 2012, 02:01 PM
Sep 2012

disturb me about 450,000,000 times more than visitations. Visits from those passed on leave me peaceful with life.
Nightmares about 450,000,000 gallons a day of toxic sludge flowing from the GP plant leave me violently turning over in bed.

RKP5637

(67,030 posts)
22. Damn, that is horrible. So many things that are really bad in this nation continue without
Mon Sep 10, 2012, 04:06 PM
Sep 2012

abate. I grew up near a plant like that, and they used to brag about what clean and safe operations they ran ... yet all of the fish in the river died over the years, there were always strange smells in the air, and one could not even go into the river water. Yet, they persisted in the same bullshit until finally some years ago the EPA cracked down on them and they were named one of the top polluters.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
26. Please don't worry about getting off topic on my account nightscanner59.
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:25 AM
Sep 2012

I think that conversations should be allowed to flow and change where they want to go.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
29. I hear ya nightscanner59
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:35 AM
Sep 2012

We live in Dayton Ohio and People that live and work out on the base, and base houseing won't drink the water out there because its riddled with...?????? Gawd knows what, and our yard it surrounded by electrical wires here in the city proper.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
27. Nightscanner59
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:29 AM
Sep 2012

I post over in ASAH alot and I truely believe those are very real visitations from friends and loved ones that have passed on. I really feel these are way more then just dreams.You my friend are gifted.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
24. I totally understand RKP5637.
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:19 AM
Sep 2012

None of us came through totally unscathed by Aids. We lost so many beautiful people to the ravages of this hideous disease.

Bohunk68

(1,364 posts)
18. While it is sometimes difficult for me
Mon Sep 10, 2012, 08:45 AM
Sep 2012

to watch gay-themed movies (my soulmate passed 6 years ago after a 27 year relationship), I would heartily recommend "Latter Days" which I've watched on the LOGO channel three times now. It's such a beautiful movie. And, I must admit, having the young man from 3rd Rock doesn't hurt. Damn, he has grown into a fine looking man.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
25. I'm so sorry about you're and nightscanner59's,RKP5637!, loss Bohunk68.
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:22 AM
Sep 2012

Last edited Tue Sep 11, 2012, 02:43 PM - Edit history (1)

I've been with my soulmate for 20 years now and I can't even begin to wrap my head around loseing him.
Thank you I will most definitely check out "Latter Days".

GodlessBiker

(6,314 posts)
30. I would say give them the movies. Gifts are, in part, a reflection of the gifter.
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:38 AM
Sep 2012

The gift is a reflection of what you think is important as well as what they might find interesting.

And when you say they are conservative in action and manner, do you mean they are closeted and rarely use the word "gay' or otherwise acknowledge to others that they are gay? Either way, it doesn't matter. This is a private gift between you and them. They may choose not to view the movies.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
33. Thank you GodlessBiker...
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 02:34 PM
Sep 2012

Tim refurbishes Historical Houses and Brian is a store manager at Ace Hardwear.
They are both Moderate Republican, Tim wears suits frquently and when they are both off of work they wear Jeans and checked shirts.
They are not closested....But until Tim mentioned Brian to me there was absolutely no discussian of "Gay" anything even though I knew he was..Still hasnt been. But I understand that. Hell we are all middle aged and I don't talk about being hetro or sex either. LOL!
If you didnt know them and you ran into them at a party (Or christmas dinner) you would have no reason to think that they were a couple. You would think they were friends.No physical displays of affection publicly. maybe its from all the shit they weathered growing up It was even worse then and it still can be really bad now.They are just very conservative in manner,dress,and political.
Now don't get me wrong Tim has a very wicked sense of humor and they are both very warm and loving people...I just love the shit out of both of them. After all I don't have ANY other republican "friends" LOL! I crossed that very wide rubicon just for them.snort.
If I get any feedback from them on these movies and its a positive one I will be turning them onto all the sugestions I've gotten here as well as watching these flicks myself. Has for my little brother! Its as good as done! I want him to have movies that he can self identify with.So I'm so very grateful to each and every one who has offered movie sugestions here and any books or plays would be most welcome too.

Ahhhhh We have come along way from just Gore Vidal and Tennesee williams writing, and commentary about being gay in todays society.

 

Bluenorthwest

(45,319 posts)
31. I recommend in both cases 'Angels' and 'Torch Song' that you give the published plays to them
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 12:02 PM
Sep 2012

along with the film versions. Both are part of our American theatrical canon and of course in the gay specific literature of the world. They should be seen, and they should be read. For a young person, these plays can be great learning tools. Angels in particular has enormous scope. Torch Song has enormous loving heart and so much courage. Firestien and Kushner have much to teach a young person.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
34. OOOOOO! What a spectacular Idea Bluenorthwest!!!!
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 02:36 PM
Sep 2012

Giving the published plays as well has the movies!!! Oh Snap!!!! Thank You!!!!!! Now I'm Jazzed!

Bohunk68

(1,364 posts)
37. Angels
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 04:27 PM
Sep 2012

Oh,, yes. Saw that on the LOGO channel also. Very, very good. Had forgotten about it. Maybe if they run it again, I can watch the series. So tired of unwed teenage mothers and their boyfriend and Buffy the Vampire thing. And that 5 gays and i gal, yuck.

Howler

(4,225 posts)
38. I watched "Angels " Twice I loved that movie so much Bohunk68.
Wed Sep 12, 2012, 11:50 AM
Sep 2012

it hits every possible level of expression! And the Acting is superb.

I love it when LOGO runs "Absolutely Fabulous" Those two women crack me up.

pinto

(106,886 posts)
32. I'd say go with your gut and trust your heart. Sounds like you're all close.
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 01:34 PM
Sep 2012

They'll most likely take the gifts in the spirit intended. And, both are great pieces, fwiw.

(aside) Maurice is worth a look.

Maurice (1987)

E.M. Forster started writing Maurice, the novel upon which this movie is based, in 1913. He showed it to friends, but decided not to publish it – he was certain the gay subject matter, and its happy ending, would make it far too controversial.

Fortunately, the story of the novel itself has a happy ending too, as it was published posthumously in 1971, and then turned into this stunning 1987 movie adaptation – a labor of love from the gay filmmaking duo of Ismail Merchant and James Ivory, co-starring Hugh Grant and Rupert Graves (at his most adorable). But even in 1987, the movie was decades ahead of its time and didn’t receive nearly the acclaim it deserved, so we’re thrilled to be able to feature it here.

http://www.afterelton.com/movies/2009/9/greatest-gay-movies?page=0%2C2

Howler

(4,225 posts)
35. Oh Wow!!! Thank you Pinto!
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 02:39 PM
Sep 2012

This is another one I can give the book and the movie too! Nice very nice. I love Rupert graves and Hugh Grant too!!!!

pinto

(106,886 posts)
36. I've given gifts of a novel (in print) and a film adaptation of the book (DVD). A neat combo.
Tue Sep 11, 2012, 02:46 PM
Sep 2012

And sometimes it's really interesting to see how one got represented in the other.

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