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Wed May 9, 2012, 04:21 PM

I was going to write a celebratory OP

to the group on Obama's gay marriage statement. I can see at a glance that most of you are not really celebrating - discouraged with states' rights, especially right after NC's vote.

Though I'm a straight woman I think I understand your reaction. Like what the states have done to abortion rights. I guess I'm supposed to be happy about all the reproductive freedoms women have today. But I'm angry most of the time watching states just crap all over Roe, now even going after contraception.

I know on a personal level about the worst that could happen to the women in these states. And anything short of the safe and legal abortion they have decided they need can turn out to be almost as bad. Young girls and the poor are especially at risk, though I'm sure I didn't need to tell you. But unless a woman has a way to leave some of these states there is not a single option left for them that is acceptable. (And if memory serves it is a crime in some of these backward sick-ass states to cross the border for an abortion or to procure the abortion pill by mail or out of state source.)

So while I will never really understand because I'll never walk in your shoes, I have a lot of empathy, and will always stand with you.

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Arrow 21 replies Author Time Post
Reply I was going to write a celebratory OP (Original post)
Control-Z May 2012 OP
xchrom May 2012 #1
Control-Z May 2012 #6
TriMera May 2012 #2
Control-Z May 2012 #7
William769 May 2012 #3
Control-Z May 2012 #11
yardwork May 2012 #4
Control-Z May 2012 #12
yardwork May 2012 #17
Control-Z May 2012 #19
yardwork May 2012 #20
Marrah_G May 2012 #5
Control-Z May 2012 #13
bvar22 May 2012 #8
Control-Z May 2012 #14
countryjake May 2012 #9
Control-Z May 2012 #15
yardwork May 2012 #18
Zorra May 2012 #10
Control-Z May 2012 #16
Zorra May 2012 #21

Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Wed May 9, 2012, 04:23 PM

1. thank you. nt

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Response to xchrom (Reply #1)

Wed May 9, 2012, 11:56 PM

6. You are very welcome. -eom

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Wed May 9, 2012, 04:25 PM

2. Thank you for that. n/t

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Response to TriMera (Reply #2)

Wed May 9, 2012, 11:57 PM

7. Happy to speak the truth. - eom

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Wed May 9, 2012, 05:04 PM

3. Thank you.

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Response to William769 (Reply #3)

Fri May 11, 2012, 01:18 AM

11. You're welcome. -eom

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Wed May 9, 2012, 05:40 PM

4. As a woman and a lesbian, I thank you, sister. You're absolutely right.

I think that Obama's announcement was somewhat cynically timed to tamp down Democrats' anger about North Carolina's vote. It's a way of controlling the expression of feelings from Democrats, and we see some folks on DU today who seem to have been given that script. Gay people who are expressing outrage and anger are reminded that there's an election to win, and if we complain, we're helping Romney.

This is exactly the same way that women are treated. Rinse and repeat.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #4)

Fri May 11, 2012, 03:16 PM

12. I wrote a reply to you last night,

fell asleep before posting, and then my laptop did an auto update and restart. (I hate it when that happens. Firefox used to remember and save everything written but for some reason isn't performing well lately.)

I honestly think Obama's announcement was well intentioned and hastened by Biden's MTP interview. I was a Hillary supporter and came close to leaving DU over the 2008 primaries. But I voted for Obama, of course, and have grown to love our president. I didn't expect him to even address women's needs let alone stand up for them. I was pretty shocked over his support for Planned Parenthood, his efforts to make contraception free and available to all women, his support of Sandra Fluke, equal pay...

If we could turn the House to a progressive one, maintain or strengthen the Senate, and add a few progressive Supreme Court judges, I imagine Obama could and would meet a lot more of our needs.

This is not meant to diminish your feelings in any way. I respect the experiences and issues that drive each of us. The corruption of women's abortions rights have been gut wrenching to me. (My mother, the lovely woman in my sigline, died from a self induced abortion), while at the same time it's been kind of easy for me living in So California where women have access to safe, legal, abortion care without parental notification or permission of any of the other bullshit ways they discourage a woman from making the choice she wants and needs. (I can't say enough about how wonderful Planned Parenthood is in my area.)

I know I articulated this better in last night's draft and apologize if this draft has come off clumsily.


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Response to Control-Z (Reply #12)

Fri May 11, 2012, 04:28 PM

17. I'm so sorry about your mom. That is heartbreaking.

I think that Obama is moving the Democrats in the right direction. He seems to be abandoning the mushy middle and setting a more clearly progressive course. I think that polls show that many people in the U.S. are fed up with the Republicans wars on everybody. Obama is a careful politician. I believe that he will win in November. I hope that we retake the House. I hope that Democrats in North Carolina retake the state legislature and hang onto the governorship. I'll do what I can to make that happen.

I think that Sasha and Malia may be the country's best hope. Obama seems to be listening to his daughters, and reflecting on things in terms of his daughters and their lives. That is good!

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Response to yardwork (Reply #17)

Fri May 11, 2012, 06:44 PM

19. Thank you, yardwork.

I hope to become more active now that my kids are old enough to deal with whatever gets thrown at me. People know my mother and some seem to actually hate her. They call her names and judge her so harshly.

But they are nothing compared to the people who honor her memory. It's high time I got off butt and honored my own mother's memory more actively. (My skin is a lot thicker now too.)

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Response to Control-Z (Reply #19)

Fri May 11, 2012, 09:39 PM

20. I believe that your mother sees and loves what you are doing.

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Wed May 9, 2012, 07:36 PM

5. What a wonderful and truly supportive post

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Response to Marrah_G (Reply #5)

Fri May 11, 2012, 03:23 PM

13. Thank you.

It would be so nice for everyone to be truly equal. My future ex just told me to let boys be boys. He thinks that's the way it's going to have to be. He used to be a democrat. Claims he still is. But I think his little wealthy, married, pro-life girlfriend is rubbing off on him. I called him a Republican Neanderthal not five minutes ago. lol

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Thu May 10, 2012, 11:06 AM

8. There WAS a time not so long ago when abortion was illegal.

I was in High School.
The Daughters of the Rich went "on vacation" to Europe for a couple of weeks.
The daughters of the Working Class & The Poor died horrible deaths from botched Coat Hanger abortions.

Roe v Wade wasn't about a Moral Issue.
It WAS about ending the bloodshed of America's Daughters.

People who don't know History
are bound to repeat it.

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Response to bvar22 (Reply #8)

Fri May 11, 2012, 03:35 PM

14. I had just turned seven

when my mother died from abortion, though I was lied to about cause of death so I don't actually remember abortion being illegal. But I'm acutely aware of the consequences, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Too many people who haven't lived through the reality of illegal abortion don't seem to understand that the horror stories they hear are real and not just made up lies to sway opinion like like the anti-choice crowd does.

Thank you for reminding us.

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Thu May 10, 2012, 02:25 PM

9. So very well said! What you've written is plain truth.

I think that it's now 41 or 42 states where marriage equality does not exist, by law. In my own state, the nay-saying bigots are scrambling for signatures in an attempt to remove the progress that was made in Feb. when a bill was passed and signed by Gov. Gregoire that legalized same-sex marriage. I've found that it's the very same types who I've previously confronted about their stances on my rights as a woman, who are today thrashing, gnashing, and rushing to deny a civil right to the LGBTs here.

As someone who found it necessary to cross six states, more than forty years ago, just to obtain an illegal abortion, I, too, fear what is happening as Roe vs. Wade is further eroded by determined states. Being the law of the land is meaningless when basic rights can be denied simply by the unfortunate circumstance of being born in the wrong place.

I echo your final sentence to our fellow DUers, here...there is no better way to say it. I also remember very well who you are and what your mother's tragedy meant to us all, as we fought hard for our rights back in the day. It seems to be a never-ending struggle but I do believe that respect and equality for all will finally be won (I'm just not certain it'll ever happen in my own lifetime); I will always be a part of that fight, til I'm gone.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #9)

Fri May 11, 2012, 03:48 PM

15. What a kind and honest post, countryjake.

You've better stated what I'd hope to say. "Being the law of the land is meaningless when basic rights can be denied simply by the unfortunate circumstance of being born in the wrong place."

That is it. It is the backward motion that just kills me and makes me question what good a federal law can ever be if states can hack them to pieces. But I too believe that respect and equality for all will finally be won. Sadly, it will probably happen after all the old white bigots have finally died off.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #9)

Fri May 11, 2012, 04:31 PM

18. This reminds me that we need to step up support for choice on DU.

I recently learned that expressing pro-choice opinions is not required to be a member of DU. I think that is wrong. We ban people who express lack of support for gay rights. The same standard should hold for women's rights to choose. I'm ready to start making a pretty big deal out of this, actually.

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Response to Control-Z (Original post)

Thu May 10, 2012, 03:59 PM

10. Thanks for your very thoughtful post, and your support.

I'm not celebrating, but I am honestly glad that the President has come out and publicly stated that he supports marriage equality.

It affirms to me that the relentless pressure we are putting on him is effective.

We need the federal government to step in and take radical action to stop the homophobic, misogynistic religious bigots from being able to use the system as a hate weapon against us.

This means we need Obama in our corner, rather than Romney in our bedroom.

It is what it is.




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Response to Zorra (Reply #10)

Fri May 11, 2012, 03:52 PM

16. I agree with you.

I've grown to become a big Obama fan and will be doing what I can to help get him re-elected. I hope I didn't make it appear I wasn't behind him.

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Response to Control-Z (Reply #16)

Sat May 12, 2012, 12:30 AM

21. No, it didn't appear that way at all.

Sorry if my post made you consider this. I was a bit despondent over the states rights thing when I wrote that.

I'm a new arrival at Camp Obama, as I'm way to the left of how the President conducted his first term.

The realization that I had to rely heavily on the President to work for our rights had just hit home not long before I wrote that, and I was working out logistics.

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