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Sun Dec 23, 2012, 09:24 AM

All you need to know about the double standard is on this thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2050628

25 replies, 2589 views

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Reply All you need to know about the double standard is on this thread. (Original post)
Bonobo Dec 2012 OP
Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2012 #1
TreasonousBastard Dec 2012 #5
Bonobo Dec 2012 #7
TreasonousBastard Dec 2012 #8
Bonobo Dec 2012 #10
TreasonousBastard Dec 2012 #11
ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2012 #9
Pab Sungenis Dec 2012 #2
Bonobo Dec 2012 #3
Pab Sungenis Dec 2012 #4
TreasonousBastard Dec 2012 #6
HappyMe Dec 2012 #12
lumberjack_jeff Dec 2012 #13
Bonobo Dec 2012 #14
lumberjack_jeff Dec 2012 #15
ElboRuum Dec 2012 #16
ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2012 #17
Major Nikon Dec 2012 #18
Major Nikon Jan 2013 #19
Bonobo Jan 2013 #20
Major Nikon Jan 2013 #21
lumberjack_jeff Jan 2013 #22
ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jan 2013 #23
Warren DeMontague Jan 2013 #24
Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #25

Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Sun Dec 23, 2012, 09:50 AM

1. that thread is rampant with sexism and broad generalizations.

and look at the Recs it is getting. *eyes*

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Response to Tuesday Afternoon (Reply #1)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 06:51 PM

5. Where?

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Response to TreasonousBastard (Reply #5)

Tue Dec 25, 2012, 01:08 AM

7. How about this?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2052294

I have never known a man who didn't

think his penis was quite larger, larger than most in fact.

They tend to be very proud of them, think we should all be admiring them as often as possible.

Oh, and only a man could possibly think that women could suffer from "penis envy". Trust me, we don't.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #7)

Tue Dec 25, 2012, 01:48 AM

8. I don't see anything objectionable...

it's one woman's point of view. And it does make a point about a common silly attitude amongst men, but it doesn't seem to be intended to denigrate men in general. My meager experience in these things is that women who point out that sort of thing tend to be rather fond of us and amused at, or at least tolerate, our foibles. Women who dislike men most likely wouldn't get close enough to us to notice that sort of thing.

Now, if any of us made such an honest statement about certain aspects of certain ladyparts of some women, all hell would break loose whether those observations were accurate or not. So, is it possible that your view of this might be some projection or translation of common attitudes toward men discussing women's bodyparts?

BTW, I have overheard women who thought no one was within earshot discussing this very subject, with much hilarity. And none of them disliked men. Many liked us perhaps even a bit too much.



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Response to TreasonousBastard (Reply #8)

Tue Dec 25, 2012, 02:05 AM

10. I don't think that the issue of whether the women like men or not has anything to do with it.

What I am talking about here is merely the double standard.

As you pointed out, "all hell would break loose" if we were to discuss this issue of how women compensate for feelings of small breasts or loose vaginas, In fact, even using those words puts me in peril of having this post hidden for some reason that I cannot yet fathom.

So you tell me -why is the suggestion that men exaggerate the size of their own penises; or the suggestion that they are motivated by the fear of small penises; or the statement that "we are glad we don't have penises"... WHY are they okay and it is not okay to discuss ANY of the corollary questions?

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #10)

Tue Dec 25, 2012, 02:22 AM

11. You understand why I was so vague in...

my description of certain things. I know we'll be alerted on just because certain elements alert on all of this stuff, but the jury might be less motivated to hide if we're not so specific.

And yes, that fear alone does identify not just a double standard, but an actual climate of fear that we're not really able to control except by simply avoiding many discussions, no matter how innocent we think they are.

As to the why's of it all... part of it is we don't have the moral authority of being the target of discrimination so no one really cares. We also haven't bothered to organize protests over the admittedly rare occasions of what could be called mysandry while other elements are quick on the trigger. I suppose on the bottom line we really just don't give a shit until it gets really out of hand. And even then we have better things to worry about.

My useless solution is that complaints of sexism of any sort be cause for an immediate ban unless the complainer make a good case that it is really sexism.

But that ain't gonna happen.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #7)

Tue Dec 25, 2012, 02:02 AM

9. It's a hell of a lot more hostile....

....than some of the posts I've been accused of being "hostile" in.

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 11:06 AM

2. But "there is no misandry on DU."

 

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Response to Pab Sungenis (Reply #2)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 11:14 AM

3. My post was hidden.

In my hidden post, I suggested that a post which commented that women with self-confidence issues about their breasts or genitals may be motivated in a similar way to men self-conscious about THEIR genitals would probably be hidden.

It was. My point was proved.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #3)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 12:51 PM

4. Same here.

 

Make jokes about men having small genitals? Laugh a minute. Prison rape jokes? Celebrated. Suggest one of the biggest misandrists on DU has ulterior motives? Hide.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #3)

Mon Dec 24, 2012, 07:00 PM

6. Of course. No matter how much time and money they spend...

on exercise, various bra and clothing designs, creams, tonics and surgery, the results of those efforts are never to be mentioned, or even noticed.



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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Thu Dec 27, 2012, 09:23 AM

12. Good grief! Double standard a-go-go.

Some people should try to remember - if you want respect, you have to give respect.

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Thu Dec 27, 2012, 02:41 PM

13. Those of us who remember Crystal Mangum take some comfort that it's gotten marginally better

http://www.amazon.com/Last-Dance-Grace-Crystal-Mangum/dp/0981783724

The contest to out-hate each other has dialed back somewhat.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #14)

Sun Dec 30, 2012, 11:43 AM

15. That thread is completely amazing. n/t

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #14)

Sun Dec 30, 2012, 02:22 PM

16. The results of the (obvious) alert on that thread...

At Fri Dec 28, 2012, 09:05 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

I am not often asked the question of whether or not God is a woman or a man............
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022088924

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

Sexist trash, plain and simple.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Fri Dec 28, 2012, 09:17 PM, and the Jury voted 3-3 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT and said: Agreed. Sexist garbage.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: My ninety year old mother says this all the time
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: It is certainly sexist, but it seemed to open in a few responses a serious discussion. Better to discuss than to censor.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT and said: :/

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.


I was Juror #3 for reference.

I am completely mystified by #4 and #5's comments. Firstly, how does your 90 year old grandmother saying it all the time make it somehow more appropriate to say something blatantly sexist? In all due deference to grandmothers everywhere, it is the perpetuation of antiquated ideas of what sexism is that allows it to persist in perpetuity. Secondly, how do you, as a juror, ADMIT to finding something sexist, but then vote to leave it alone, rationalizing that it "seemed to open in a few responses a serious discussion". I'll put aside my doubt that any serious discussion actually occurred there since almost every response was some variant of "for the love of whatever creator you worship or don't, please delete this thread." I wonder if that particular juror would have had the same reaction if there were racist or homophobic overtones to that OP, rather than sexist ones.

It is, however, a positive thing that so many of the responses call out the sexism. I think that's a positive indicator for DU as a whole.

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Response to ElboRuum (Reply #16)

Sun Dec 30, 2012, 07:49 PM

17. Not wishing to turn this into a meta thread....

....but the bottom line is you can make statements like the OP did and usually get away with it because of the inherent belief here that it's okay to take shots at men, and we should "discuss" it if you don't like it.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #19)

Wed Jan 16, 2013, 10:55 PM

20. Yeah, and what is the excuse for women with guns then? nt

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #20)

Wed Jan 16, 2013, 11:07 PM

21. Donno, but I'm pretty sure if someone suggested it had to do with the size of their vagina...

Someone would be eating pizza for dinner.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #21)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 03:30 PM

22. I'm encouraged by the people on the thread who objected.

And discouraged by the 44 who recommended it.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #19)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 06:00 PM

23. I alerted

I'm guessing it went nowhere.

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Sun Jan 20, 2013, 07:51 PM

24. Sorry guys, but we really need to keep the meta stuff in meta.

Things seem to be heading south with the groups, muliple threads popping up complaing about DU, etc.

I think it would be helpful at this point to lock this. I know Bonobo knows where I'm coming from.

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Thu Apr 4, 2013, 11:37 AM

25. unlocking.

meta no longer exists.

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