It took 28 years for Dean Cochrun to realize that he'd been circumcised, and now he's decided that he'd like his foreskin back. Cochrun has filed a lawsuit against South Dakota's Sanford Hospital, claiming that "an unknown doctor" convinced his mother that it was medically necessary to snip his newborn naughty bits. "I was robbed of sensitivity during sexual intercourse as well as the sense of security and well-being I am entitled to," he wrote. Cochrun is asking for $1,000 in damages and for his foreskin to be replaced. He's also currently in prison on a kidnapping conviction. We dare you not to wonder if that's where he made his decades-late anatomical discovery.