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DebJ

(7,699 posts)
Mon Feb 15, 2016, 05:29 PM Feb 2016

Does anyone know if a single adult becomes mentally incompetent without a Power of Attorney,

what happens next?

My sister in law suffered a brain hemorrhage and has been hospitalized for 3.5 weeks, unable to speak and sedated to the point of unconsciousness until just two days ago. Her recovery ability is still not known. Meanwhile, she has bills that need to be paid. Her three siblings, her only family, have agreed that the eldest sister should make all final medical and financial decisions after consulting the other two.

That sister went to an attorney, who told her she can't have Power of Attorney without the ill sister's signature.

So, what, bills just don't get paid? For months? For years?

This butt breath didn't even suggest any other course of action. My sister in law was in tears.

What a scum bucket.
Laws are engineered by businesses, who want to get paid, so I'm sure there must be some way for this to be handled.

Does anyone know?

6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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nichomachus

(12,754 posts)
1. There's no reason you can't pay her bills
Mon Feb 15, 2016, 05:38 PM
Feb 2016

Businesses don't care where the money comes from. But power of attorney would let you sell her house or her car and make all sorts of decisions on her behalf. That's not so easy.

As far as making medical decisions, most hospitals etc. will defer to the family, but usually blood relatives or spouses without an actual POA.

I think you need another lawyer. The previous one should have given you a better answer than NO.

LiberalArkie

(15,687 posts)
3. Anyone can pay bills, but not with the hospitalized sisters money. They are free to use their own
Mon Feb 15, 2016, 05:40 PM
Feb 2016

money. They can get the court to rule and appoint someone power of attorney to make decisions for the sister.

DebJ

(7,699 posts)
6. You are only free to use money that you have, and we are all flat broke.
Tue Feb 16, 2016, 12:59 AM
Feb 2016

As in, for us, getting the gas money to go visit my SIL three hours away means not paying utility bills, which is of course the choice we have made. There are no other choices. The SIL who will do the decision-making, her and her hubby won't ever be able to retire; they are both in their 60s and barely getting by. The final sibling...well, let's just not talk about that one, as there isn't anything nice to be said. One in every family...........

Meanwhile, the ill SIL does have income in the form of sick pay, then short term and long term disability, and we can't just let her finances fall apart on top of everything else.

 

Hoppy

(3,595 posts)
4. Call the county Bar Association. Ask for referrals for Estates and Trust attorneys.
Mon Feb 15, 2016, 09:32 PM
Feb 2016

You will get three references. Interviews will be either free or for a small fee, around $25 - 50. (Ask before you set an interview appointment.

There will be lawyer and court costs to have a relative appointed to administer affairs but it should not be complicated.

Good Luck,

H

DebJ

(7,699 posts)
5. Thank you everyone. I think the answer is to apply for guardianship.
Tue Feb 16, 2016, 12:55 AM
Feb 2016

My poor SIL's is so overwhelmed, I'm going to drive the three hours to her house and do all the digging and checking out and getting paper work processed. A guardianship can take a month or two to process, so we need to get it in the works. We still don't know my ill SIL's eventual capacity/brain damage, and at any rate, this will be a very long process of healing.

The sister in law who was seeking POA also takes care of an 89 year old mother in law who is legally blind and insists on living by herself, so poor Mary goes to her house several times a week to see that she can eat, to get her mail and read it to her, to pay her bills, and do all else. Plus Mary has two adult children she sees and two grandchildren and works full time. This new situation is just overload for her.

The sister in law who suffered the brain hemorrhage is the warm, kind one who keeps the family together. The good hearted, forgiving one. Yet, three years ago, she had a sudden brain aneurysm and was found on her bathroom floor unconscious. She made a miraculous recovery, with very little permanent suffering, except they had to put a shunt in her head. The next year, her 49 year old fiance, with whom she had lived for 7 years, suddenly dropped dead in their bedroom. He was such a warm, kind, spiritual and philosophical man that everyone loved, that hundreds came to his funeral. Then, 18 months later, on Christmas Day, 2 policemen came to my SILs house to tell her that her son was found dead in his jail cell. Her son had become a drug user by his late teens, and only in his late 20s was he diagnosed with bipolar disorder.... too late, he was hooked on all the horrible stuff. Before we could even bury her son, 3 days later, the church that had bought her rental home and large lot it was located on gave her notice that she had til 1/31 to move out... in the dead of winter in Jersey. That's a bit much to handle while trying to bury a son. Good old churches, so reliable. Then, on the 25th, she had seizures at work and became unconscious. This shit always happens to GOOD people, you know? Her own health, then losing her fiance, her son, and her home of many years... and she had just lost her mother not too long before that. She has only three siblings now, and some nieces and nephews.

Those of you who pray, prayers are always appreciated. Prayer works.

Thanks.

On edit: so we are all working together to move her out of her home and store her things at a friend's house while she is in the hospital, so her homecoming will be pretty rough. God, she is such a warm and wonderful and supportive person. A genuine loss to the world.

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