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Mon Jul 28, 2014, 05:54 PM

She would have loved to be honored like this, my Mom who died a couple of days ago.

DU Photo folks have known Mom for years. She came to the USA and we spent time in the Keys each year - as the guests of a friend. He became wealthy enough to buy a condo there - damn fancy, too - and let her use it every year in re-payment for what he perceived saved his future when he was young:
"A preacher’s wife in a tiny German village who understood his professed need to learn things beyond farming. They had books he was to read and discussions to participate in.
He “made it” and farming was left to his siblings….."

That’s the reason the photos I’m lining up all have the flair of the US South. That’s when Mom and I were together the most. I had to go to the old country a few times for funerals, but there were no photos.

So I’m not going to say anything - I’ll just line them up. Many of you will remember her - and you will see from the photographs her love of life and her energy. She had seven children, I was her oldest.

I came here a week plus ago, and I sat at her bed for 7 days and 6 nights until she died in my arms and those of one of my remaining brothers.
I am bereft. And she is relieved after a short month of physical terror.
She was almost 90

Thanks guys for remembering her, and for looking.

The other woman dancing is an adopted sister


















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Reply She would have loved to be honored like this, my Mom who died a couple of days ago. (Original post)
Mira Jul 28 OP
Solly Mack Jul 28 #1
Mira Jul 28 #5
alsame Jul 28 #2
Mira Jul 28 #6
NRaleighLiberal Jul 28 #3
Mira Jul 28 #7
regnaD kciN Jul 28 #4
Mira Jul 28 #8
elleng Jul 28 #9
Worried senior Jul 28 #10
CrispyQ Jul 28 #11
TBF Jul 28 #12
Mira Jul 28 #13
TBF Jul 28 #18
barbtries Jul 28 #14
Little Star Jul 28 #15
Mira Jul 28 #20
MissDeeds Jul 28 #16
brer cat Jul 28 #17
MarianJack Jul 28 #19
Mira Jul 28 #21
ColesCountyDem Jul 28 #22
Mira Jul 28 #24
trusty elf Jul 28 #23
Mira Jul 28 #26
TygrBright Jul 28 #25
Mira Jul 28 #29
LoisB Jul 28 #27
Curmudgeoness Jul 28 #28
Mira Jul 28 #30
Curmudgeoness Jul 28 #31
Crewleader Jul 28 #32
Mr.Bill Jul 28 #33
Itchinjim Jul 28 #34
roguevalley Jul 28 #35
BrotherIvan Jul 28 #36
likesmountains 52 Jul 28 #37
Scuba Jul 28 #38
mnhtnbb Jul 28 #39
alfredo Jul 28 #40
CC Jul 29 #41
Callalily Jul 29 #42
plcdude Jul 29 #43
Squinch Jul 29 #44
drlit Jul 29 #45
noiretextatique Jul 29 #46
Mz Pip Jul 29 #47
DrDan Jul 29 #48
handmade34 Jul 29 #49
bluedigger Jul 29 #50
Blue_In_AK Jul 29 #51
marble falls Jul 30 #52
Celebration Jul 30 #53
Behind the Aegis Jul 30 #54
padfun Jul 30 #55
mahina Jul 30 #56
passiveporcupine Jul 30 #57
Mira Jul 30 #58
ljm2002 Jul 31 #59
Whoa_Nelly Jul 31 #60
KC Aug 6 #61
ohheckyeah Aug 6 #62

Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:03 PM

1. Your photos of your Mom always make me feel as if she is someone I need to meet.

And now I can't....but those photos still let me know she was someone worth knowing. That she loved life and knew how to laugh. I wish I could have met her.

I am glad you were with her at the end. I am so sorry for your incredible loss.



Sending you love.



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Response to Solly Mack (Reply #1)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:11 PM

5. Thank you Solly Mack.

I am like a field of Bamboo in the wind - making sounds that never duplicate each other. Because my emotions run high, and my pain and my relief abut her no longer being in pain are in battle with each other.
you have lived in the old country - near Frankfurt - which is where I am at the moment.
Sitting in an area of a roof that has been fixed up for a spare guest in a full house, accessible by something we would call a ladder.
But it's private, there is internet, a fan, and a light.

I love giving visuals.... LOL

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:04 PM

2. ...



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Response to alsame (Reply #2)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:13 PM

6. Lit candle back at you. And thanks.

Mom had the seven kids, as I said. And I'm in the house of the youngest who is almost 18 years younger than me.
His children are lots younger than my grandchild.
They put up lots of candles today and made a shrine with trinkets from her surroundings that help them remember her.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:04 PM

3. Each day, something posted on DU really moves me. This OP is what I will remember about today.

What a lovely tribute - thanks for sharing. The pictures do speak perfectly.

Be at peace for what you could do for her, and be joyful (when you are ready) for the wonderful memories you will have for the rest of your life.


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Response to NRaleighLiberal (Reply #3)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:18 PM

7. Thank you my NC neighbor.

I wish I were home.
And wish I had not had to come here for this reason.

She died Sunday morning at a few minutes to 6 am. Visualize open windows, billowing white transparent curtains, a rising morning and then know it was just a few minutes before her great grandson's birthday in American time, his time, who so very much did not want her to die on that day.
Then at 6 - being Sunday - the German churchbells filled the air for a good long time.

It was soothing. Her Preacher's wife soul was integrated perfectly.
(if you think I'm maudlin - you are right)

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:10 PM

4. I'm so sorry for your loss...

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Response to regnaD kciN (Reply #4)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:19 PM

8. Thank you - dear friend.

Kind of you to comment. It means you read that i hoped for it and encouraged you to keep entering photographs.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:44 PM

9. Yes we remember, Mira,

and we think of her (and you, of course) often.



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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:56 PM

10. Your mother

was an amazing woman.

It's wonderful that you could be with her at the end.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 06:56 PM

11. I love the shots in her leopard outfit, especially the one where she's charging!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mira.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:03 PM

12. Such beautiful photos

to remember her!

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Response to TBF (Reply #12)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:07 PM

13. I omitted one

where she sticks out her tongue at me in the water in the pool. She did not like to be photographed. Hated her wrinkles. A very vain woman.
I understand how she felt.

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Response to Mira (Reply #13)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:42 PM

18. I understand that too -

I'm already that way at middle age ... I'm always behind the camera taking the photos in my family!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:18 PM

14. i'm sorry for your loss Mira

she was a lovely woman.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:22 PM

15. Oh Mira, I'm so sorry for the loss of your wonderful Mom....

I loved when you would share us with her. She seemed to be such a nice, fun lady. You had a great and close relationship and that was wonderful to get a small glimpse of.

Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

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Response to Little Star (Reply #15)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:46 PM

20. Yes to all.

Except that she was a pistol. Nice is not the first word to describe her. Though it's in the later line-up of adjectives...

She started to decline in her mid seventies when she broke her arm cleaning a stairway - Germans have this awesome way of keeping floors clean - each tenant has a rotating duty of cleaning the floors that are used communally - and it makes for really clean passage ways.
At that time - 15 years ago - I started calling her every day at about 9 pm her time and let her talk until she did not need to talk any more.

I chose to believe that with a woman of such energy and power having a reliable outlet like that for all the frustrations of aging etc. helped prolong the good parts of her life.



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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:38 PM

16. I am so sorry, Mira

From the photos you shared with us, it looks like your mom enjoyed life and lived it to the fullest. I hope the good memories will help you in the days to come. You're in my thoughts.




MissDeeds

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:41 PM

17. She is beautiful, Mira

and her love of life comes shining through in these pictures. I would have loved to have spent time chatting with her. I am sorry for your loss, but you will have a lifetime of memories to comfort you.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:46 PM

19. Please accept my condolences for your loss.

Your Mom reminds me a bit of my Mom, who passed on 8 years ago just short of her 85th birthday. I'm sure that you love and miss her as I do.

PEACE!

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Response to MarianJack (Reply #19)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:49 PM

21. Yes

I have not yet understood that she is gone.
So I post the photos, and get your comments that feel like big hugs. And it all helps me get more real, slowly.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:51 PM

22. May you find peace and take comfort in the memories.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your beautiful mother!

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Response to ColesCountyDem (Reply #22)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:55 PM

24. Thank you - and my tears flow again

Geez
I've been on DU a long time, and have made many a post. But I never babied one and responded to those who care to this degree.
Wonder why that may be?

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:55 PM

23. Oh, Mira, I'm so sorry.

Please accept my sincerest condolences. How sad. Thanks for all of your lovely posts about her over the years. Your love for her infused them all.

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Response to trusty elf (Reply #23)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:56 PM

26. Already crying. Now your words

made me better.
Because you know.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 07:55 PM

25. Holding you and your family in the Light.

What a beautiful person your mom is.

I say "is" because as long as she is in your heart, she lives on, even if she can't put her arms around you any more. The pain of missing her will always be there, too, but in the long run, the love remains most powerful.

Thank you for sharing her beauty with us!

respectfully,
Bright

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Response to TygrBright (Reply #25)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:05 PM

29. So appreciative of your words.

Will read them, and those of others, when things are not so raw. And I am comforted now - and in the future.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:03 PM

27. Beautiful lady

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:05 PM

28. Oh, Mira, I am so sorry for your loss.

It has been 13 years, and I still miss my mom. The hurt eases up over time, but that hole left never completely closes.

I love your mom from the photos.....she wore it well! Love that she still obviously had spunk, even after almost 90 years.

How are you holding up?

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Response to Curmudgeoness (Reply #28)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:14 PM

30. I'm doing great. Because..

I'm sitting in a piece of attic where I can barely stand up but I have internet - and therefore my DU friends - and the effin' ladder entrance doesn't allow visitors and will preserve my peace while I stay in shock - and gratitude - all at the same time.

I will NEVER stop missing her. Just like you are saying.
And frankly, that means the bad parts as well as the good ones.
i don't make her out to be a saint.
She is my very human, and thank God fascinating mother, who just died and honestly, I think i'm still in shock.

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Response to Mira (Reply #30)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:26 PM

31. Yes, you probably are in shock.

But you are dealing with it well. I understand the shock/gratitude. My mother suffered greatly for a month before she died, and to be honest, I was glad it was over for her---even if it just started the grief for me.

You are doing just what I did---only it took me weeks to stumble upon the healing balm of reliving her life through photos. It was hard at first to remember her not lying in a hospital bed in pain.

You will never stop missing her. I guarantee. Just allow yourself to grieve now.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:31 PM

32. Thank you Mira for sharing your Mom's photos.

What a lovely woman and I wish I could of met her. You have some fond memories to hold on to and cherish.

My heart goes out to you my friend.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:33 PM

33. Sounds like your Mom passed

ten years to the day after mine. The pictures show me a lady who, like my Mom, lived a full life, the kind of life most of this world only dreams about.

I remember looking at my two brothers after her memorial service, and since my dad had passed 14 years before, saying "we all got a little older today." That's been both a difficult and a good thing. I hope your fond memories of her last you a lifetime.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:35 PM

34. So sorry for your loss Mira.

May you have comfort and peace.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:50 PM

35. she looks like my mama. i grieve with you. the hole is vast. time is your friend.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 08:51 PM

36. Love never dies

I lost my mom last year, was there to the end. I'm glad you were there with her. Thank you for sharing her lovely spirit which is part of yours. I wish you as much peace as you can find and more to wash over you. Get some sleep if you can and be very kind to yourself.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 09:46 PM

37. So sorry, she seemed like someone I'd want to know.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 10:08 PM

38. Thank you Mira, for sharing this with us.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 10:29 PM

39. Oh, Mira. I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom.

You were lucky, very lucky, to be with her at the end.

I can tell from the photos you are sharing that she had a real zest for life.
She has an infectious smile, a real warmth about her.
I hope that your heart will be filled with good memories of her life.

And I can hear the church bells.






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Response to Mira (Original post)

Mon Jul 28, 2014, 11:21 PM

40. Sorry for your loss. Thanks for introducing her to us.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 01:29 AM

41. I am so sorry for your loss

I know it leaves a huge hole in your heart. I am going to share with you a piece of advice I was given that will sound weird but honestly does help. Embrace your pain, let it run wild through you. Let it hurt, cry, scream (into a pillow if you don't want to be heard) whatever you need to do because once you embrace it you start to heal and eventully you find you can smile through tears at your memories. Lean on your friends, take care of yourself and hang in there.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 08:15 AM

42. Your mother was a truly

remarkable lady. We grieve with you and we celebrate her life with you.

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears
by Isla Paschal Richardson

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh
And talk of me as if I were beside you. I loved
You so—‘twas heaven here with you.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 10:41 AM

43. Thank you

for the pictures and reminding us to pay it forward as your mother and my mother did. We were so lucky to have such excellent human beings give us life and teach us how to live it well.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 12:07 PM

44. Beautiful.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 02:08 PM

45. Namaste

These photos, all photos and the very private photos-of-your-mind-and-heart will carry you through the rest of your life. Holding you and yours in my heart. Thank you for the vulnerability and courage taught to all by sharing your pain and your love.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 04:07 PM

46. awesome mama!

She enjoyed life, and that is the best gift she could give you. Bless her soul

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 04:24 PM

47. So sorry for your loss.

Your mom displayed such a lovely joie de vivre that you capture beautifully in your photos. Celebrate her life and cherish your memories. ❤️

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 05:39 PM

48. she just looks like she led a full, happy life . . . Rest in Peace

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 07:29 PM

49. your photos of your Mom make me smile

…a life well lived!

I am glad you are with family and that you could be with your mom at the end…



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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 10:44 PM

50. I'm so sorry to hear this, dear friend.

You two had so many wonderful adventures together. You know your DU family shares your loss and is with you in spirit. I'll try to get a PM off to you soon, I'm pretty wrapped up in my own little inconsequential drama this week, in a good way. I think I'm headed to Ohio for some temporary work Saturday, if I can get my act together. You are in my thoughts.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 29, 2014, 11:23 PM

51. Sincere condolences, Mira.

These are beautiful photos.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 12:15 AM

52. Great photos of someone who seems to have been a great character. I am so sorry for your loss.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 04:12 AM

53. Gorgeous tribute!

Her spirit shines through in your photos.

It gives me a tear in her eye. What a legacy she left.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 04:29 AM

54. My sincerest condolences.

This is a wonderful tribute and shows a tremendous amount of joy, mirth, and life. You have shown a side of her that demonstrates her happiness and I hope it is how you will always remember her.

May your tears of sorrow, turn to tears of happy memories and love and life shared.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 10:47 AM

55. May she Rest in Peace.

It seems that she had a good life, and a good family.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 01:23 PM

56. Wishing you peace Mira.

She looks like such a wonderful lady. Your love lights her path. Aloha.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 04:18 PM

57. Beautiful photos...beautiful woman

Thank you for sharing. My condolences on your loss. I'm glad your Mom made it to 90. And that she was vital till almost the end. I'm really glad that you were with her at the end and had a chance to say goodbye.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Jul 30, 2014, 05:33 PM

58. To all you wonderful DU friends -

You have soothed my soul. I am filled with gratitude to you for your condolences and appreciation of my dear Mom being so unique and full of life.
As we are preparing for the funeral and related events she remains full of life
and keeps enriching ours.

When I get maudlin and sad I read your posts.
They lift me up and I thank you all.

Mira

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 08:42 PM

59. What a wonderful tribute...

...I'm sure she would appreciate it! And so sorry for your loss.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 11:13 PM

60. Thank you for sharing this, Mira

Much heartfelt sympathy and condolences for your loss.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Aug 6, 2014, 09:15 AM

61. I've not been online

for awhile so I am just now reading your post about your mom and I am so very sorry.
I will miss seeing your posts with pictures of her and seeing her zest for life in them.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Wed Aug 6, 2014, 06:24 PM

62. i'm so very sorry for your loss

what a nice tribute.

take care of you and know we care.

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