5 Terrible Situations for the Socially Awkward Man Read more: 5 Terrible Situations for the Sociall
This is me right here
#4.
Standing Next to Someone at a Urinal
Notice I said "standing," and not "peeing." That's because, for the socially awkward male, this is the thought process that accompanies every trip to the urinal:
*Oh, good, there's no one else here. This'll be easy. In and out.
*You settle yourself in front of a urinal.
*The door to the restroom opens abruptly. The sound and implication that you are no longer alone startles you.
*You feel cold.
*You pray that the new occupant opts for a stall instead, because-
*Oh, shit, he didn't.
*Okay, this is fine. Stare straight ahead and just go. Just go. I really have to go, this shouldn't be a problem.
*He starts peeing. In the otherwise silent bathroom, his proud and confident stream does nothing but highlight the fact that you clearly haven't been peeing.
*He can hear. He can hear you not peeing right now. He knows.
*Don't think about that, just focus on peeing and all-
*"What's up, Man?"
*How have guys who talk in the bathroom not been shunned out of society?!
*"N-nothing, man." Just peeing, is all.
*"Oh, yeah. Chillin' chillin?"
*This conversation should be illegal.
*"Yes, I am chilling chilling."
*"No doubt. Crazy weather," he says, and he continues to chat, because you are the only one in the world who doesn't know how to talk and pee and stand next to another human at the same time. The only one in the world.
*Giving up, you pretend to shake away make believe urine, and maybe you even say "That sure was a good urine session," to really drive your ruse home, and then you make your exit. It is the toilet equivalent of faking an orgasm.
Read more: 5 Terrible Situations for the Socially Awkward Man | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrible-situations-socially-awkward-man/#ixzz1qme65DY6
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Maybe they're the ones that design men's restrooms?
I've come to the conclusion that the urinals need their own "mini-stalls". No doors, but enough privacy between urinals that you cannot talk to the other person, much less see any part of them. Plus, have a speaker over each with the sound of running water, like waterfalls. That way, all that white or pink (or is it brown) noise would cancel out attempted conversations, and get you going 
