What is your initial gut reaction to this situation?

[Ilsa]

You are a 50 year old wife with school-age kids. Your 70-something year old mother-in-law, widowed, wants to move in with you.
What is your initial reaction?

[seabeyond]

1. i would invite her in

come to some agreements so we both can live with each other.

she is a hard hard woman to be around. and she and i butt heads regularly. but, i have told her that if she ever needs/wants, she has a place and we would all work together and it would be a comfortable environment for all of us. i would make sure. and i am pretty confident we could because regardless of everything, she is a good good woman. and her son loves her so.

(can you tell, i have already thought about this, lol)

how about you? what do you feel? that is more important than what i feel. because we are different people.

[applegrove]

2. Depends how you get along with them entirely. There were times when my mother was hard to get along

with. She would only communicate with me by argument. I certainly would not have allowed her to be in my life every day at that time. But she has mellowed with age. She doesn't pick fights. I enjoy spending time with her and am her and dad's caregiver.

[Ilsa]

4. Well,

I don't really want to spend time with her every day. I love her, but she isn't my "friend." I don't confide in her for several reasons which I won't get into here.

Sometimes she likes to start arguments just for the fun of it. My hubby said something about ignoring it. I asked if he could bite his tongue every other day for 20 years. (She could easiy live into her 90s.)

[applegrove]

9. People do go through personal growth at that time in their lives. If you told her how you felt it

may help. Maybe you should tell her before she moves in with you. That way you would know if your relationship was better or worse before you agree to live with her. Such a tough decision. vibes to you on this.

[dimbear]

3. Want honest answer? Depends on what I stand to inherit. n/t

[OhioChick]

5. My first thought was "Hell no." n/t

[maddezmom]

7. jinx

[OhioChick]

8. LMAO....

I was thinking the same.

[maddezmom]

6. hell no!! then....Mom you can have the Master Bedroom...I'll be fine.

[Chan790]

10. I don't suppose you have an in-law apartment.

or space over the garage you can convert into living space with a separate entrance. You'd both be happier for it because you'd both have the impression of separate living spaces.

Failing that, it's hard for me to answer. I live in an apartment where my landlord's 70 year old mother had decided to move in with us unannounced. Technically, she owns the unit, he doesn't so I can't bounce her. She drives me nuts...and I actually like her as a person, she's grandmotherly and obsessively-clean.

If I lived in the family estate back in CT, 5000ft.^2, it probably wouldn't bother me even if I loathed my MiL with a deep intensity because with that much space, it's easy to get away from people. There are days when I'm home for holidays that I barely see my family because we're just on opposite ends of the house.

[MiddleFingerMom]

11. After my divorce MANY years ago, I eventually moved back to my hometown after being gone 10 years.

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I moved back in with my parents while I looked for a job and a place of my own.
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Took me two months to find both.
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Within two weeks, the dynamics between us had regressed 10 years. She treated me
like a 17-year-old and I started rebelling against EVERYTHING she had to say to me
about virtually anything. We were driving each other crazy.
.
So, I'd say it depends on how you'd get along. It's easier to make OTHER arrangements
NOW than it would be to have her move out AFTER getting settled in.
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Essentialy evicting your MOM!?!?!?!?
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How would that make YOU feel?
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Good luck! It's a choice I'm glad I don't have to make.
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.

[Ilsa]

15. If it was my mom, we'd be fine. It's hubby's mom.

She's a RINO. Says she's a Republican and votes R even though she doesn't agree with anything they say.

She's very illogical. It makes it hard for me to get along with her because she's so unpredictable, and not in a fun way.

[MilesColtrane]

12. I love my mom, but if I'm around her for more than two days I start to go a little nuts.

It starts feeling like I'm 14 years old again.

[REP]

13. Gut reaction? Not just No, but Hell No

But I am thinking of my mother and MIL. Luckily, our house doesn't have a guest room ... BY DESIGN.

[WinkyDink]

14. H to the NO.