Things I trust more than Republicans...

[Erose999]

1.) White vans with no windows, with "free candy" painted on the side
2.) OJ Simpson's claims of innocence
3.) A fart, after dinner at Taco Bell
4.) The artistic integrity of Milli Vanilli
5.) A Lance Armstrong drug test
6.) BILLY Carter
7.) Wooden nickels
8.) E-mails from long lost relatives in Nigeria
9.) Bridge salesmen
10.) Stock tips from Bernie Madoff
11.) Michael Vick as a dogsitter
12.) Facebook privacy standards
13.) GG Allin's tattoo artist
14.) A Las Vegas marriage license
15.) IKEA freeway interchange
16.) An anger management course taught by Gordon Ramsay and Lewis Black
17.) A hand-written sign advertising cheap dental work
18.) Grooming advice from Rob Zombie
19.) Buying stock in Radio Shack and K-Mart
20.) Courtney Love as your NA sponsor
21.) Employing the 5 second rule at the Clermont Lounge (google it)
22.) Flea Market accupuncture clinic


Lets hear some of yours

[BlueJazz]

1. "I'll pave your Driveway plus guarantee it for 10 years for $399.00"

[Wounded Bear]

2. Wait a minute!

I got married in Vegas!

[Bosonic]

3. Homicidal A.I.s

[hifiguy]

4. The guys in white vans selling speakers.

The actual competition of professional wrestling (of which I am a fan).
The guy in the mac who asks "wanna buy a watch?"
Three card monte dealers in NYC.
Used car salesmen.
Ads saying "last chance to send your dollar" to a PO box.

[tabbycat31]

5. the guy selling me a Rolex on a street corner

[benld74]

16. Don't you mean Rollex?

[Erose999]

25. I'll see your Rollex and raise you a Rolox

?w=650&h=416

[Jamaal510]

6. ...

-Used car sellers on Craigslist.
-Prostitutes who claim to be STD-free
-My grandma's driving skills.
-The ghost of Saddam Hussein
-The A's no longer choking in the playoffs.
-The Raiders ability to have a winning season.
-Vending machines
-Smoking marijuana before class or work.
-Kanye West's fashion advice.
-Kenny McCormick's advice about how not to die.
-Justin Bieber's advice about how to make quality music.
-TheKingNappy's advice about how not to swear during YouTube videos.
-Datehookup.com not having fake profiles or spambots.
-Reddit and YouTube comments sections being racism/misogyny/homophobia-free.
-Yahoo! being a place where liberals are welcomed.
-Eharmony not selling out my personal info after I subscribe to them again.
-GEICO's advice about how not to make annoying commercials.
-The Steve Wilkos Show not cutting to commercials right before revealing test results.
-A Jerry Springer episode being free of fighting.

[Erose999]

10. hahahah! good ones!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

7. Anything Kevin Trudeau is selling.

[Paulie]

8. "I'll paint any car any color for $99.95"

[kairos12]

9. Painting lessons from Shrub.

Eating sushi past the sale by date.
The cell phone bill.
That doctors actually wash their hands enough.
Carnival Cruz's interpretation of "Green Eggs and Ham."
Fracking doesn't harm the environment.
Checked bags arrive where there supposed to.

[Erose999]

11. Fresh seafood in Nebraska. Lady GaGa picking out your "business casual" clothes,

George W. Bush's book club
Asking someone for asprin at an electronic music festival
Any advertisement using the phrase "avoid disappointment and future regret"

[sarge43]

12. Fox news nt

[First Speaker]

13. The Warren Report

[Xipe Totec]

18. Seriously? That's your choice?

[Exhibit A]

14. ...

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[olddots]

15. Charles Manson as a life coach

my dog Daisy promissing not to do her Dutch Oven trick in the bed

A reverse morgage ad being pitched by Dennis Miller .????

The wine steward at Arbys .

[Laffy Kat]

20. Afraid to ask, but I'll bite:

What is Daisy's "Dutch Oven trick" and where is her photo?

[lovemydog]

17. Anyone who says 'The music you like sucks.'

Someone saying they are leaving the country if so and so wins.

The NRA.

A condo sales person who says 'They're building a big swimming area next year.'

The new miracle diet.

Disney's lawyers.

Commercials.

[Xipe Totec]

19. Spell checkers. nt

[El Supremo]

21. The San Diego Chargers

or:
The Colorado Rockies
The Oakland Raiders
The Cleveland Browns

Shall I go on?

[OriginalGeek]

22. THIS tour will be my last chance to see KISS

Gas station tuna.

[IrishEyes]

23. Half priced sushi from a gas station in Arizona

I would love to see an anger management course taught by Gordon Ramsay and Lewis Black.

[Arugula Latte]

26. Jon Lovitz ... and his wife ... Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, that's the ticket.

[Bosonic]

27. This guy's etiquette advice

[Erose999]

28. BuzzFeed war correspondent. Sadly, thats actually a thing.

[LynneSin]

29. Bill O'Reilly News Hour

I win!

[chknltl]

30. Purchasing used under-shorts at the Goodwill?

Well I don't trust 'em more than Republicans as a whole, just Republican politicians.

[kairos12]

31. Parking Valet with Porsche keys.

[kairos12]

32. Halliburton military gear.

[Erose999]

33. Vegan cheese

[KamaAina]

34. The weather forecast

[KamaAina]

35. A hot tip on a sure thing in the third at Aqueduct