how should i deal with halloween this year?

[orleans]

last year i put a huge bowl on the porch with three huge bags of candy in it that said take five pieces. and some brat grabbed all of it up during the short time i was gone

this year i'm thinking of turning the tv up loud, keeping the curtains closed, and ignoring the door knocks. i'm also thinking of putting a sign by an empty bowl on the porch that says "help yourself"

the porch light is broken so there won't be a light on outside after dark

i loved halloween, but it's been a sad time of year for the last number of years--my mom died around halloween and ever since then i just can't get into the "spirit" of the holiday.

or should i just be fucking decent, try to ignore my personal issues, suck it up and answer the damn door and pass out candy until it gets dark out?

any suggestions?

on edit: should i put a sign in the lawn that says: whoever the selfish kid is that stole over 300 pieces of candy from the front porch last year shouldn't stop here today?

[Kali]

1. my vote is forgive and pass out some treats

but I have almost never lived where I even got any tricker-treaters and my kids had to be hauled to town to participate, so I have a bias.

sorry about your loss

[orleans]

3. thanks, kali. we'll see....n/t

[fishwax]

2. I don't think you should feel compelled to give candy if you're not into it, orleans

I'm sorry about your loss, and it sucks that the spirit of something you once loved has been dampened by these things, and if you're not digging the Halloween (and it sounds like your experience last year just added to the frustration) then you don't really owe it to others to stack more frustration on.

On the other hand, since it is something you once loved, perhaps if you get into it and answer the door and get to see the excited kids and so on ... maybe that will help turn things around? Just a thought, though I know it's not the right strategy for everyone.

Either way, though ...

[orleans]

4. thank you. i guess i have time to think about it, don't i? n/t

[Lil Missy]

5. I just turn off all the lights and put life on ignore. n/t

[NJCher]

6. What not to do

Misery loves company. I recall George Noory, host of Coast to Coast, saying that the same thing happened to him.

He was surprised and indignant, but hey, don't let one greedy person color your feelings about the holiday. It's just one person, and the rest were probably good kids.

One thing you definitely don't want to do is what my spouse did one year. I was away on vacation. He had no candy so he threw a stack of $5 bills in a bowl and just let the kids take one each. They came back for years after that. Took awhile before the neighborhood realized I wasn't going to match that Halloween.

Or you could do what one of my students confessed to doing. When the trick or treaters came to the door, he said he didn't have anything and asked if he could have some of their candy. Then he dipped his hand in to each of their bags and had himself a very sweet evening. Then he shut the lights off, watched TV, and ate up all the candy.



Cher

[orleans]

7. the story about your student is funny. thanks. n/t

[blogslut]

8. Here's a suggestion:

Buy some glow sticks. Collect some toilet paper/paper towel tubes. Cut out eye shapes in the tubes (cut the paper towel tubes in halves or thirds to get more sets of eyes). On Halloween, before it gets dark, snap those glow sticks, put them inside the tubes and place them all over your yard and in your windows. Turn off all your other lights and wait.

Whatever kids are brave enough to ring your doorbell deserve some candy.

[Skittles]

9. suck it up and answer the door

it may help you in the long run

forget about the 300 pieces of candy

[orleans]

10. lol. it really isn't about 300 pieces of candy at all. i wish it was. n/t

[Skittles]

11. my dad shot himself three days before my birthday and lived for six days

I have not been a fan of doing anything for my birthday ever since but will accept the well wishes of others - go with tradition and let it ride

[orleans]

12. oh my god--i am so very sorry.

wow--
you're advice is good and your post definitely got through to me. (kind of like a wake up call only late at night after a few vodkas & tomato juice)

go with tradition & let it ride; that's probably what i will do

i'm really sorry for what you've been through.

[Skittles]

13. thanks; it can be tough

my brother died of alcoholism on Thanksgiving

it does change your thinking, for sure

[In_The_Wind]

14. Hand out candy to the young children who come begging something sweet.

They try so hard to be brave on a night filled with scary things. We stop soon after supper when the teenager start showing up. You could put a lamp with an orange bulb on the porch.
Be of good cheer, orleans, life feels better when you can find small things to smile about.

[Arkansas Granny]

15. If you generally enjoy handing out the treats and seeing the kids in costumes, it would be a shame

to let one thoughtless brat spoil your fun. OTOH, if you're just doing it because it's expected, close the curtains and forget about it.

[bigwillq]

16. I say suck it up and put out some candy (nt)

[NightWatcher]

17. Give it out or don't, but dont just put a pile at the front door. Another jack ass will take it all

If you are not into it this year, take a year off.

[Paper Roses]

18. Halloween used to be one of my favorite times. No so now.

For the past number of years I have bought candy for the kids. Maybe one or two showed up. I was stuck with all this stuff I don't eat. The neighborhood or the fear by parents have kept the kids away. Last year, like a grouch, I did not have the porch light on, bought no candy. Never heard any kids go up the street. I feel like a scrooge but this year I will again turn off the lights.

Miss this fun time but I don't want to waste money on stuff when no-one comes. Poor kids. I'm sure they do not come because my street is dark and not heavily populated.
What fun it was years ago when there was no fear and lots of little kids knocked at the door in their cute costumes.
How life has changed.

[Le Taz Hot]

19. We used to decorate the house for Halloween

but the last couple of years we've been unable to due to various circumstances. There were 2 or 3 years when we didn't pass out candy because we just simply couldn't afford to buy the candy.

It's easy to let one jerkwad color your experience. But I just remember all the fairy princesses, the bullfrogs, the SpongeBob Squarpants little ones, eyes wide open, sputtering out "Trick or Treat!" I remember the wonderful time I had at Halloween as a kid and I try to pass on that experience. Sometimes I wear a costume, sometimes not but I just love going to the door and greeting them.

Btw, I live a block away from an elementary school. The first year I was at this house I went through 13 bags of candy. Yeah, I get kids.

[Worried senior]

20. We moved from a suburb

to the sticks so we no longer get kids at Halloween and I do miss it.

What used to get me was that we lived in a typical working class/mid income area. Next to us the farm land was turned into a more upscale area. The families would come one and all into our neighborhood to trick or treat leaving no one at their homes to hand out goodies. Guess that's how they afforded the big houses.

[magical thyme]

21. do what feels best to you, but don't let one or two spoiled brats set the tone.

50 or so years ago, when my sisters and I were playing halloween host, I learned a valuable lesson from them. A group of brats shoved their way past us and grabbed all the candy.

My eldest sister said, "Hey wait a minute. I'll trade you our freshly made candy apples if you put back the candy."

They fell for it, put back the candy and took the candy apples -- which we'd accidentally burned and were about to throw away when they'd arrived!

So forget the brats. If you can get into the spirit, do it. If not, keep the lights out and have a peaceful evening, and if you can, try focusing on the good memories of your mom and make it a celebration of her life.

Personally, I haven't lived in areas where there was much trick or treating going on, so I've given up. Too bad. I have a green parrot to sit on my shoulder, dogs who I'd love to dress up for meet and greet, and wonderful wiccan clothes to wear. Instead, I'll be celebrating Samhain! Just wish there was a local coven holding an open service...

[irisblue]

22. would you consider

a dinner out and a movie for the evening? Or contact a local homeless shelter and see if the family section is doing a party for their kids? Maybe it is time for a new tradition?

[shenmue]

24. Cool ideas

[BlueJazz]

23. I'd change the sign to "If any of you wonderful children know of the young man...

...who took ALL of the candy I put out last year, please tell me and a 10 dollar bill will be yours....My large dog wants to eat the young man's feet"

Seriously, I'd get/give the kids their candy...it's part of the hassle of being an Adult.