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Fri Jul 4, 2014, 03:42 PM

how soon is too soon?

last week my and misses backwoods broke up.

Last night I spent the evening with my new neighbor.....she is MUCH younger than me....19 years younger......we...shall we say enjoyed each other

I really like her....is this too fast and are these feelings just me trying to replace her?

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Arrow 15 replies Author Time Post
Reply how soon is too soon? (Original post)
backwoodsbob Jul 2014 OP
antiquie Jul 2014 #1
MH1 Jul 2014 #2
backwoodsbob Jul 2014 #4
Sweet Freedom Jul 2014 #3
backwoodsbob Jul 2014 #5
orleans Jul 2014 #6
lunatica Jul 2014 #7
backwoodsbob Jul 2014 #8
lunatica Jul 2014 #9
backwoodsbob Jul 2014 #10
PoliticAverse Jul 2014 #11
alphafemale Jul 2014 #12
backwoodsbob Jul 2014 #13
HeiressofBickworth Jul 2014 #14
Jenoch Jul 2014 #15

Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 03:55 PM

1. Not too fast for enjoyment;

too fast for serious declarations, IMHO.

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 03:57 PM

2. seriously?

Being cognizant this is the Lounge ...

If you're for real I'd say yeah, probably too soon, but could depend on the circumstances. I mean if you'd been at each others throats for awhile and only just formalized what you've known for a long time, maybe not. But if there was any surprise or regret on either side at the decision, I'd say too soon.

Obviously a highly personal thing though.



Oh and as to feelings towards anyone else, you probably ought to step back and reflect a bit. Let the next relationship blossom in its own space, not the wreckage of the last. But again, JMHO.

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Response to MH1 (Reply #2)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:02 PM

4. we have known for a year or more

me and misses backwoods...that the breakup was coming....too many differances.

We knew we were going to breakup I would guess 5 years ago

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 03:59 PM

3. Idk if it's too soon, but

had you posted before the fact, I would definitely had said that sleeping with your neighbor is not the best decision. I would keep that super casual. It would suck if you ended up living next door to your ex.

The timing is now irrelevant. It's not like you can undo the deed.

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Response to Sweet Freedom (Reply #3)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:04 PM

5. oh it is casual

just companionship for both of us I guess...and some amazing first night sex

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:06 PM

6. best of luck in all your endeavors (whatever they may be) n/t

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:13 PM

7. No one else's opinion matters here

You two will find out if it's too soon or not. There are no hard and fast rules.

But here's hoping it all works out for you, no matter what happens.

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Response to lunatica (Reply #7)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:22 PM

8. I just wanted opinions

she is trying to learn guitar....she brought her little amp and stuff up...we jammed and laughed and I showed her some cords......I brought out the big boy to wave my dick I guess...my gibson dove.


Most fun I have had in YEARS

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Response to backwoodsbob (Reply #8)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:26 PM

9. My one most important measuring stick for a good relationship

is all about fun. Especially laughter type of fun as in having a sense of humor. Without it why even bother?

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Response to lunatica (Reply #9)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 04:46 PM

10. we had a blast last night

thats the thing....we had FUN

I taught her how to play Godzilla....Some elo songs....some metal beginnings...she loves metal......wants to learn

Having fun for the first time in years is addictive ....wanted to share

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Response to backwoodsbob (Reply #10)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 08:48 PM

11. It's all fun and games til someone plays Stairway to Heaven....

or gets pregnant.

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 09:03 PM

12. I'm pretty certain I do NOT want to ever go beyond friends with benefits again.

My kids are grown. I have been married twice. So...done.

If I enjoy a person or two or twelves company and we cherish each others friendship.

And we also bump naughties now and then.

What exactly is wrong with that?

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Response to alphafemale (Reply #12)

Fri Jul 4, 2014, 09:22 PM

13. that is how I see it right now

having a blast and why go beyond that?

The girl below me was over last night....the girl next door is out on the porch at the moment....have fun

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Sat Jul 5, 2014, 12:06 AM

14. Way back, in my dating days

I had a rule -- no sex with men who are on the rebound. They are on a mission: 1) Hey, I can now have it whenever and however I want it, 2) if it's available, do it, or, the worst, 3) I'll show the ex I've still got it. No matter which version it is, you can be assured that you aren't the star of the evening because of the external agenda.

Now, for YOU, Backwoods, you're in the love em/leave em position. While you are out having fun, just be sure you aren't misleading the lady that it anything but recreational. If that mutual understanding is reached, put on the raincoat and have fun.

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Response to backwoodsbob (Original post)

Sat Jul 5, 2014, 01:26 AM

15. I'd say that it is too soon but the bigger problem I forsee

is the swx with your new meighbor. You have no idea who she really is.

You also didn't mention her age. The gap of 19 years might not matter later on if the ages are 40 and 59 but if she's 20 and you're 39, well I can see a problem.

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