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Thu Dec 19, 2013, 01:20 PM

Fargo Man Arrested For Clearing Snow With Flamethrower

I spent a winter in ND and can totally relate. One has to admire his tenacity, if not his methods.

Fargo, ND – Local resident Todd Fox has been detained for “reckless endangerment” and “illegal use of high-powered fire-breathing weaponry” for attacking snow with his flamethrower. Fox reportedly became so fed up with the week-long blowing snow epidemic in his area that he decided to KILL IT WITH FIRE.

The neighborhood was treated with quite a show last night as Fox unleashed an inferno upon the mountainous snow palace that was his front yard. Neighbors to his immediate right and left noticed a bright orange cloud and could hear what they thought was “puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell,” which prompted one of them to notify police.

Fox stated that he was simply “fed up with battling the elements” and that he did not possess the willpower necessary to move “four billion tons of white bull shit.”

Police say that Fox surrendered his efforts immediately upon their arrival and that his front yard “looked like a hydrogen bomb had gone off.” They think he was just happy to be done with snow removal, even if it did mean a trip to jail.

http://fmobserver.com/fargo-man-arrested-for-clearing-snow-with-flamethrower/

11 replies, 7243 views

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Arrow 11 replies Author Time Post
Reply Fargo Man Arrested For Clearing Snow With Flamethrower (Original post)
Major Nikon Dec 2013 OP
LumosMaxima Dec 2013 #1
Major Nikon Dec 2013 #2
WilliamPitt Dec 2013 #3
mysuzuki2 Dec 2013 #4
jmowreader Dec 2013 #5
skypilot Dec 2013 #6
OmahaBlueDog Dec 2013 #7
LeftofObama Dec 2013 #10
KamaAina Dec 2013 #8
Earth_First Dec 2013 #9
monmouth3 Dec 2013 #11

Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 01:23 PM

1. I can totally see my elderly father pulling something like this.

He's obsessive about snow removal. I told him the other day he was starting to act like Mr. Monk.

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Response to LumosMaxima (Reply #1)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 01:27 PM

2. Hopefully this will inspire others

If we can have a war on Christmas, we should be able to have a war on snow.

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 01:30 PM

3. OMG

All of a sudden, I really want to be arrested someday for the crime of "illegal use of high-powered fire-breathing weaponry," because "high-powered fire-breathing weaponry" is wordsmithing of the highest order.

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 02:16 PM

4. After spending most of my 65 years in the upper midwest

I thoroughly sympathize with this guy!

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 02:51 PM

5. Parody site. Still cute.

Illegal use of fire-breathing weaponry? Uhh...if you look on the card a roofing flamethrower comes attached to, snow removal is one of the suggested uses. It's between "kill that fucking crabgrass so it stays dead" and "burn down the church you go to," both popular applications of this particular WMD.

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Response to jmowreader (Reply #5)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 03:25 PM

6. Aw, hell...

...I was really hoping that someone had actually uttered the words "four billion tons of white bull shit".

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 04:09 PM

7. You laugh - I've considered something similar

They have those hand held propane torches used to heat sealant on streets and roofs. I've thought they'd be perfect for clearing stubborn ice.

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Response to OmahaBlueDog (Reply #7)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 05:09 PM

10. I've considered it too!

I wonder if it really is illegal here?

I can't imagine it would be illegal if it can be used for a large number of other projects.

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 04:23 PM

8. Was the woodchipper broken?

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Response to KamaAina (Reply #8)

Thu Dec 19, 2013, 04:31 PM

9. +1+1 nt

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Response to Major Nikon (Original post)

Fri Dec 20, 2013, 11:40 AM

11. We look forward to his move down here in Floriduh..n/t

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