Dad's upset about daughter's Facebook post

[XemaSab]

&sns=fb

[warrior1]

1. He may have over reacted

but I could understand his anger.

[baldguy]

2. He didn't over react.

If only more parents reacted this way.

The only problem I can see is that he didn't get the hard drive.

[Major Nikon]

13. He reacted the way I would expect a child to react

If more parents reacted this way, more kids would be more screwed up. Parents who can't control their emotions generally get kids who can't control their emotions. You can't control bad behavior with bad behavior. The most important thing a parent can teach a child is how not to be a slave to their emotions.

[trixie]

41. What?

Ok let's break this down:

You take control of your kids when they are 2 not 15.
He needed a gun to control his 15 year old
He did this because she posted something on Facebook (I hate Facebook)
He then posted his "punishment" on Facebook

Looks to me like someone (dad) is all consumed with Facebook and has no concept of childrearing.

What should have happened:
He should have had control and the respect of his daughter from an early age.
All kids say they hate their parents at some point - no big deal.
He should have had every account logins of the daughters.
They should have discussed the matter and then he should have logged in and deleted the post.
I (perhaps not you) would have taken the computer away for a specified amount of time.
He should have pulled up reasons why we do not do certain things on Facebook such as people who have lost jobs, scholarships etc.

[Major Nikon]

42. Did you mean to reply to me?

Your post in response to what I posted makes no sense to me.

[trixie]

44. no sorry, baldguy

I liked your post

[alphafemale]

8. You really shouldn't take teenagers hating you personnaly

I had a friend that raised maybe ten who said....

Just think of it that the aliens have abducted the beautiful loving child you've known until now. They've left a thing that looks just like your child but it is a spitting venomous thing that hates you. You still have to house and feed it. Sometime between the age of 17 an 20 the aliens will return your sweet loving child.

Yeah he over reacted. Best reaction to teen hatred is no reaction at all. They're not in a sane state of mind in most cases.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. thats a very cute and apt story for teens

[alphafemale]

23. My daughter actually went into a tirade in the car one day.

She went through the rebellion a little early I think she was 11.

She launched through the various "teenish" hatreds. I let her go on and on.

My reaction. "That's OK. You can feel that way sometimes. But I'll still always love you."

I swear she snorted like a rhinoceros for about a minute. But then in a very quiet voice she said "I love you, too"

[KurtNYC]

30. How peaceful and disarming of you.

Way to go.

I'm posting Saturday AM and that video has gone mega viral -- up 6 million views in the last ten hours.

[Major Nikon]

22. My dad had a saying about that

My dad was a UU minister and had an interesting way of looking at things. He said that when your kids are little, you love them to death and never want them to leave home, but god has a plan for this. He turns them into teenagers and then you can't wait to get rid of them.

I'm certainly not a man of faith like my dad was, but I can agree with the sentiment here. Nature has a plan to get your kids out of your house.

[trof]

3. I sense some 'issues' here.

[pacalo]

4. If he's an IT guy, he could have cleared out the hard drive & given the laptop to someone

who needed it.

The mother (or was it stepmother?): Put a bullet in it for me.

[dana_b]

6. that's what I was thinking

donate it to a school, a community center - anything but put bullets into it.

[pacalo]

9. Besides that, a family with that amount of anger intensity need to stay away from guns.

Especially those who use guns in their parental decisions.

[dana_b]

12. good point

[blue neen]

5. Wow.

I don't blame the guy for being angry. 15-year-olds seem to be at the height of their rebelliousness.

It is kind of bothersome to see him using the gun on the computer, though. Maybe he could have put the laptop on the highway and let some trucks run over it.

[Major Nikon]

17. The problem is at some point someone needs to be the adult

Teenagers get rebellious because that's exactly what nature intended. Rebellious teens tend to leave home and move away outside of family groups. Genes are dispersed which prevents inbreeding. The reason kids act this way is because for the most part they can't help it. That's the way they are wired. Parents getting angry and letting that anger drive their response only exacerbates the problem and is counter productive. Kids need to be shown that when faced with difficult situations, the correct response is to control your emotions and don't let them dictate your actions. They need to be taught that getting angry is OK, but allowing that anger to control them is not.

[blue neen]

21. I agree.

His behavior isn't really teaching his daughter anything good.

Teenagers can really drive you crazy, but it looks like this family needs some professional help.

[yellowcanine]

38. "someone needs to be the adult" Yep. The kid is only behaving the way this dad taught her to

behave. So he can blame himself for that.

[Ptah]

7. What a he-man.

Is he going to smash the phone against the wall?

Shit in her garden?

Spit on her diary?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. agreed

[Ptah]

16. It's like he's saying, "you are smarter than me, and I will smash your belongings."

He should be arrested and charged.

[dogknob]

20. When I was a kid...

...my dad couldn't figure out how to listen to my phone messages, so he smashed my phone.

[Major Nikon]

25. She got mad at her parents and she allowed that anger to drive bad behavior.

It's not too hard to figure out where she learned that from.

[siligut]

19. This is what I thought, it is all about him

His ego is hurt that his daughter told all her facebook friends that he isn't the best, smartest, hardest working dad ever. The video was really about him. Posing on his land, talking about his tough childhood, showing off his gun and expensive bullets. If you read what they are saying on Youtube, they really don't get it. I am glad I am reading this here.

[hunter]

10. Must be a "My Dad is a Moron" reality show in the works...

Every fifteen year old thinks their parents are morons, a few parents go out of their way to prove it.

[Chan790]

14. That's some histrionic over-reactive shit right there.

Not even getting to the idiocy of the destruction of the laptop, that's some shit parenting I've ever seen.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. maybe this is just someone being an internet tough guy

to make a point and not a real parent (one hopes)

[Joe Shlabotnik]

24. wow, that was fucked up and soul crushing.

Can't help but feel sorry for everyone in the family.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

26. An episode of Cops waiting to happen.

[Brickbat]

27. I found that hilarious and I seriously doubt that's his daughter's laptop.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

29. That's what I thought.

I think it's a hoax.

[yellowcanine]

39. It is possible the whole thing was a hoax and he doesn't even have a daughter.

Or his daughter is in on it and they are having a big laugh right now about it.

[one_voice]

28. Wow...

he has issues. Every 15 year old goes through a rebellious stage. The fact he used a gun to prove a point to his child is worrisome. What he did was so far over the top, he acted like a spoiled child.

Way over the top. I'd be embarrassed if I was married to him.

[siligut]

31. Yet the woman who is married to him, requested that he put a bullet in the laptop for her.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This whole family has real problems.

[PassingFair]

32. I hope his wife has a job.

Because it would suck for her if he shot up or otherwise destroyed
HER things because she displeased him.

[siligut]

33. I am already thinking this guy has a personality disorder, he has so many of the red flags

So I am thinking his wife probably does too, as like attracts like. And if she really went along with his idea to shoot a laptop and added her request, she is at the very least, an enabler.

[Major Nikon]

43. He just has no clue on how to raise kids

If you treat your kids with contempt, they are going to give it back to you. It's that simple. The sad part is his approach is not all that uncommon. He just was stupid enough to flaunt is failure on youtube.

[LynneSin]

34. who wants to bet me on how soon we'll see his daughter on "Intervention"

Pick the time frame, drug of choice and what her excuse is for doing drugs.

My guess is about 2 years, either Meth or Oxy and clearly because daddy was a real dickhead.

BTW I respect the fact that she should be grounded and have her computer taken away but seriously Dad - don't be a Dickhead!

[expatriate2mex]

35. I bet it's fake, I did not see it open or turned on or anything.nt

[limpyhobbler]

36. He's crazy.

She needs that computer for school. Her homework is on there. She is responsible for that.

His feelings were hurt so this is how he reacted. He definitively needs to show the girl that he is the boss.

The girl might have had some legitimate reasons to complain. I'm certainly not taking this idiot's word for it that she didn't.

He might have been bossing her around too much or something. There is a reasonable limit.

Also what is "all the work she does around the clinic"? Maybe she should be getting paid for it after all.

[jmowreader]

37. In a lot of other threads on this, people are on the father's side

Wild Bill Hickok here says he had to stop himself from shooting the computer when she did whatever it was that got her grounded the first time makes me think all Bill's dogs ain't barkin' quite right. And then the demand that the daughter pay for the ammo he used to destroy her computer? Didn't the Chinese do that when they still executed people at gunpoint?

[Major Nikon]

40. The guy has become some type of folk hero

It's pretty sad really. Just goes to show what a sad state of affairs parenting has become.

Betsy Brown Braun, a child development and behavior specialist, is sympathetic to the anger parents feel when faced with rebellious teen-agers. She even conceded that the video has high entertainment value, with the dad puffing on a cigarette while sporting a cowboy hat.

"The reason it's gotten people cheering it on is because parents are frustrated, she said. “ Teenagers are impossible. He was doing what any parent would like to do. They are living vicariously through him."

In fact, most parents have probably fantasized about doing something similar. The difference is, they thought better of it, Braun said.

"The sane parents have stopped themselves," she said. "The difference between a sane, mature person and a child is that the mature parent is able to stop their impulses and do appropriate things that can help a child grow. It may not be what you want to do right now, what feels good, but it's the thing that's going to benefit the child three months, six months, years from now.”

http://redtape.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10375389-executing-your-teens-laptop-might-feel-good-but-its-a-bad-idea-experts-say