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Thu Nov 21, 2013, 01:23 PM

Inventor Of Gromdar Determined To Put A Gromdar In Every American Home


Gromdar inventor Jeffrey Shanes says he hopes Americans will soon be unable to envision their lives without a Gromdar.

SAN JOSE, CA—Laying out his vision for the company’s future at a shareholder meeting yesterday, Gromdar, Inc. cofounder and Gromdar inventor Jeffrey Shanes said that he is determined to put a Gromdar in every home in the nation, sources reported.

Stating that the Gromdar brand name “is synonymous with innovation, quality, and high performance,” Shanes told investors that, beginning with its forthcoming line of personal Gromdars sold at licensed Gromdar retailers across the country, the company aims to change the American way of life “Gromdar by Gromdar.”

“Our goal is not only to put a Gromdar in each home, but in each room of each home,” said Shanes, noting that ever since he built the first laboratory-sized Gromdar as a graduate student, he’s envisioned a world in which every citizen has access to a private, portable Gromdar. “Gromdar technology has been around for years, but until now, we haven’t been able to bring Gromdars to the consumer market. Now we have a chance to make Gromdars such an integral part of daily life, people will think, ‘Can you remember a time without Gromdars?’”

“We want people to say, ‘I bought a Gromdar for my wife, I bought a Gromdar for my mom, heck, I even bought Gromdars for my kids!’” he continued. “We want people without Gromdars to envy people with Gromdars. This time next year, you’re not going to want to be seen in public without a Gromdar of your own.”

According to the company’s website, Gromdar, Inc. originally manufactured Gromdars exclusively for military use, winning a lucrative contract with the U.S. Department of Defense to supply powerful Gromdars for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. With profits from the government contract, the corporation reportedly invested millions of dollars in research and development to adapt Gromdars for the commercial sector, and soon began selling thousands of Gromdars to businesses across the country.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/inventor-of-gromdar-determined-to-put-a-gromdar-in,34633/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1efault

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Reply Inventor Of Gromdar Determined To Put A Gromdar In Every American Home (Original post)
HarveyDarkey Nov 2013 OP
In_The_Wind Nov 2013 #1
dixiegrrrrl Nov 2013 #3
sharp_stick Nov 2013 #2

Response to HarveyDarkey (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2013, 02:08 PM

1. The question is: Should we get one for each person in the home ... a Personal Gromdar.

Sharing may create problems.

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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #1)

Thu Nov 21, 2013, 02:35 PM

3. We have been Gromming for some time now.

I DO recommend getting one for each person, since it is going to be used so often.
and with the recent price reductions, it is pretty affordable.

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Response to HarveyDarkey (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2013, 02:09 PM

2. I Need A Gromdar!

Right bloody now but the local Gromdar store is besieged by fanboys that have been camped out on the sidewalk for a week to get the next Gromdar.

Dammit I have kids, I can't camp out for it no matter how badly I want that Gromdar.

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