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Fri Feb 3, 2012, 09:29 PM

 

A friend of mine died yesterday

I just saw the obituary

He was the atheist's atheist

He is now dead. Remember that now.

He died "unexpectedly"

That means either (1) OD or (2) Suicide or (3) truly an unexpected event. Like heart attack, or stroke.

He was 43.

His parents were boomers.

WTF happened?

He had a mean streak, but he also had a kind streak...

Unlike you and I, his was either/or

WTF is up with that???

Life is life - and not fade away?

If you take a child under your wing, remember you are taking them under their (their BIO parents) DNA profile.

Be the best everything you can be.

Be their fathers, their mothers, their PARENTS.

They depend on you.

That doesn't mean suffer - that means show them what you enjoy about life - and at some time let them participate. And let them know when that is. Kids love working towards a goal.

26 replies, 2337 views

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Arrow 26 replies Author Time Post
Reply A friend of mine died yesterday (Original post)
Taverner Feb 2012 OP
Swede Feb 2012 #1
Taverner Feb 2012 #13
ZombieHorde Feb 2012 #2
Taverner Feb 2012 #3
bigwillq Feb 2012 #4
Taverner Feb 2012 #16
Xipe Totec Feb 2012 #5
Taverner Feb 2012 #12
Xipe Totec Feb 2012 #18
Capn Sunshine Feb 2012 #17
Xipe Totec Feb 2012 #19
CaliforniaPeggy Feb 2012 #6
Taverner Feb 2012 #11
Rowdyboy Feb 2012 #7
Taverner Feb 2012 #10
HipChick Feb 2012 #8
Taverner Feb 2012 #9
GoCubsGo Feb 2012 #14
Taverner Feb 2012 #15
TuxedoKat Feb 2012 #20
Taverner Feb 2012 #26
Taverner Feb 2012 #21
libodem Feb 2012 #22
Taverner Feb 2012 #25
Highway61 Feb 2012 #23
Taverner Feb 2012 #24

Response to Taverner (Original post)

Fri Feb 3, 2012, 09:34 PM

1. Sorry to hear this,Taverner.

43 is way too early for the end.

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Response to Swede (Reply #1)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:05 PM

13. Thanks. Yes it is.

 

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Fri Feb 3, 2012, 09:38 PM

2. Some good advice. Take care...

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Response to ZombieHorde (Reply #2)

Fri Feb 3, 2012, 11:32 PM

3. I am down with that

 

Restricted my drinking to F-Sat.

Doing 30 min of cardio per day.

Doing weight lifting every day between muscle pain ( about 2x per week)

Eating as healthy as I can

Outlive the bastards, amen...

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Fri Feb 3, 2012, 11:40 PM

4. I am very sorry.



Death sucks, no matter how or when it happens.

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Response to bigwillq (Reply #4)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:56 PM

16. Thanks. Hug backatchya.

 

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Fri Feb 3, 2012, 11:55 PM

5. The Weeping Gardener

The Weeping Gardener
By Miguel Hernández


I want to be
the weeping gardener
of the ground you occupy,
and compost so early,
my soul mate.

To feed the garden snails in the rain,
organ of my voiceless pain,
surrendering your heart as food,
to the disheartened roses.
Such pain clumps in my chest,
that breath is agony.

A hard fist, an icy blow,
an axe strike, homicidal and unseen,
a brutal push tumbled you.

There is no wider chasm than my wound,
I cry to misfortune and her companions,
I feel your death, more than my life.

Unkempt and unshaved,
without warmth or consolation,
I tend to my affairs soullessly.

Death took flight early,
and early came the dawn of morn,
and early it spills upon the ground.

I do not forgive death for loving you,
or forgive life for its distraction,
or forgive the ground,
or forgive oblivion.

With bare hands I raise a storm,
of stones, bolts and strident axes,
thirsting and hungering for catastrophe.

With bare teeth I want to dig the ground,
and move the dirt part by part,
in dry and furious bites.

I want to mine the earth until I find you,
to kiss your noble skull,
unbind your body and return you,
to my garden and my fig tree.

Your soul that was,
so effortlessly gentle,
will flutter lie a bird,
among the flowered trellises,
and will return at the murmur
of the iron gates,
where lovers meet.

You will lighten the shadow of my brow,
and your blood will flow through my garden.
Competing for the bees and for your girl,
your velvet heart will summon forth,
a crop of snowy almond blossoms.
But my jealous voice will call you
away from the almond trees,
to the winged souls of the roses.
For we have much to talk about,
my soul mate,
my companion.

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Response to Xipe Totec (Reply #5)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:04 PM

12. Thanks. That poem is awesome. Really shows the "dust to dust" factor.

 

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Response to Taverner (Reply #12)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 11:41 PM

18. Condolences ,my friend.

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Response to Xipe Totec (Reply #5)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 10:01 PM

17. That poem is just beautiful

damn. You are so well read Xipe I stand in awe. Jealous awe, but awe nonetheless

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Response to Capn Sunshine (Reply #17)

Sun Feb 5, 2012, 12:26 AM

19. Thank you. You give me far too much credit.

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Fri Feb 3, 2012, 11:56 PM

6. I am truly sorry, my dear Taverner...

He was too young, for sure...

Please be gentle with yourself as you pass through this time of grief...

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #6)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:03 PM

11. Thanks. Does gentle involve a bottle of pinot?

 

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 12:37 AM

7. Poor baby...he had barely gotten started....

A toast to him and his far too short life and remember he was lucky-he had a friend who cared enough to mark his passing.

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Response to Rowdyboy (Reply #7)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:03 PM

10. Thanks. People shouldn't have to die at 43.

 

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 12:41 AM

8. Sorry for your loss...I lost a good friend a few months back...


It was hard because I didn't know he passed...

I meant to check in on him, but got caught up with being too busy for life..

We think he intentionally departed too, he just had enough, and wanted to escape this life



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Response to HipChick (Reply #8)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:02 PM

9. Thanks. He wasn't a good friend, although he was once.

 

He did steal a bunch of money from me once, and after that I severed our relationship.

But for a few years, we did everything together.

Like I said, mean streak with a kind streak.

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:23 PM

14. I'm sorry.

Last summer, I lost a friend with whom I had lost touch. He had a severe drinking problem. I saw his obituary in the paper, and was shocked by it. He was my age--just short of 50 at the time. I expected that he drank himself to death, but it turns out he died of a massive heart attack, most likely caused by heavy smoking and a shitty diet. The sad thing is that he was dead for a few days before they found him. Kind of surprising, since his family lived in town. In light of that, I'd like to add to what you said, Taverner. Check up on friends and family every so often, especially those who live alone. You never know what might happen...

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Response to GoCubsGo (Reply #14)

Sat Feb 4, 2012, 09:55 PM

15. +100

 

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Sun Feb 5, 2012, 03:07 PM

20. So sorry for your loss

especially one so young. Did his parents pass early too? Oldest boomers are about 66, that would be relatively young too these days.

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Response to TuxedoKat (Reply #20)

Wed Feb 8, 2012, 01:12 PM

26. No, both parents had the misfortune to outlive their son

 

Something I hope does not happen to me

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Wed Feb 8, 2012, 12:37 PM

21. Now I find out that it wasn't suicide or OD, but he felt ill, laid down, and died

 

Not sure the exact cause of death, but from what it sounds like, it was either a stroke or a heart attack.

Now this not only saddens me, this scares me too. When your friends die off, you feel the sharp, cold, razor teeth of mortality clinching ever tighter into your skin.

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Wed Feb 8, 2012, 12:51 PM

22. Far too young to be taken

Xipe's poem made me cry.

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Response to libodem (Reply #22)

Wed Feb 8, 2012, 01:10 PM

25. It was a very good poem

 

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Response to Taverner (Original post)

Wed Feb 8, 2012, 12:52 PM

23. So sorry to hear that

Think of the good times and forgive the bad. It will help, believe me.

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Response to Highway61 (Reply #23)

Wed Feb 8, 2012, 01:09 PM

24. I've long since forgiven the bad - that was 20+ years ago

 

I don't hold grudges

Thx

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