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Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:15 PM

My 5,000 Post—Catnip Memories (Dial-up Warning)



This is the tail of my hisstory with catnip.


I’ll start from scratch.


When I mewved into adolescence everything seemed purrfect.


I arranged my furst deal…


…and purrchased the best nip out there.


It seemed impawsible for things to get any better.

I took pride in finding the good nip.


I was the cool cat that mew how to chill…


…and give manx when I hung out with my girlfriend.


A mew years later, I started dating a playboy bunny.


After the cat was out of the bag...


…things fur going so well…


…that the ice cream man let me run a tabby.


I was feline groovy.


Howeffur, there were some adfurse results.


Was it pawssible that I was seeing things?


Then an alley cat purrsuaded me to buy what turned out to be bunk oregano.


I didn’t want to make that meowstake again so I began a garden…


...and went catatonic guarding the stash.


Then the claw came crashing down.


I tried to purrsuade the officer to let me go.


I categorically denied the charges to no avail.

The bust was all over the mews.

So niaou you get to read my meowmoirs.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's great having fun with everyone.

BTW, I'm not a ginger.

53 replies, 6000 views

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Arrow 53 replies Author Time Post
Reply My 5,000 Post—Catnip Memories (Dial-up Warning) (Original post)
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 OP
NYC_SKP Aug 2013 #1
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #8
Wait Wut Aug 2013 #2
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #3
Wait Wut Aug 2013 #5
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #6
Wait Wut Aug 2013 #10
In_The_Wind Aug 2013 #4
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #9
In_The_Wind Aug 2013 #20
pinboy3niner Aug 2013 #7
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #11
sheshe2 Aug 2013 #12
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #15
Curmudgeoness Aug 2013 #13
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #17
calimary Aug 2013 #14
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #18
Cha Aug 2013 #16
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #21
Cha Aug 2013 #23
sakabatou Aug 2013 #19
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #22
rurallib Aug 2013 #24
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #25
Bertha Venation Aug 2013 #26
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #30
life long demo Aug 2013 #27
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #31
kardonb Aug 2013 #28
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #32
hrmjustin Aug 2013 #29
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #33
hrmjustin Aug 2013 #34
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #35
hrmjustin Aug 2013 #36
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #38
hrmjustin Aug 2013 #39
BlueJazz Aug 2013 #37
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #40
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2013 #41
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #46
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2013 #50
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #51
Spitfire of ATJ Aug 2013 #52
heaven05 Aug 2013 #42
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #47
Arugula Latte Aug 2013 #43
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #48
DinahMoeHum Aug 2013 #44
Arugula Latte Aug 2013 #45
TexasTowelie Aug 2013 #49
SalmonChantedEvening Aug 2013 #53

Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:19 PM

1. Kick and Rec and LOL!

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #1)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:57 PM

8. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

I'm going to have a difficult time topping this thread at the 6,000 mark.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:27 PM

2. I was like all cool and stuff...

...even recced yer thread. And then...

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH GINGERS????!!!!!1!!!!1

Whatever. I still have more posts than you....ginger hater.

Friggin' DU still allowing bigotry to stand. This place is falling apart.

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Response to Wait Wut (Reply #2)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:36 PM

3. No, I don't hate gingers

and have been in love with a few along my pathway in life. I only put that comment as a point of clarification and certainly did not intend to offend anyone.

You are right though, bigotry sucks and there is no place for it--DU or anyplace else. Thank you for the rec also.



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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #3)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:43 PM

5. I'll forgive you.

This time. I figure if you've fallen in love with any of us in the past, you've been punished enough. I think my husband is in a support group.

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Response to Wait Wut (Reply #5)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:52 PM

6. LOL and thank you.

It's intended to be a fun thread and there I go sticking my paw in my mouth.

I have no place to call out anybody's looks since my skin tone is somewhere between alabaster and death; meanwhile, my legs are so ugly and scarred that I'm embarrassed to wear shorts.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #6)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:59 PM

10. I was kidding, y'know.

I'm more than used to the comments. A close friend of mine has been telling the same joke for 10 years:

"What's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist? You can reason with a terrorist."

He tells it every...single...time...I see him. My response is always the same, "Oh yeah? Well, you're short."

Alabaster is better than what I have. I'm 1/4 Spanish, but didn't get enough of the genes to actually make much of a difference. It just gives me a yellowish tint that makes me look green if I wear blue. I don't own blue clothes. The upside, my DIL is Okinawan. She can't wear blue, either.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:41 PM

4. Awesome nip, dude!



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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #4)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:58 PM

9. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It's difficult living up to the expectations of other DUers.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #9)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:49 PM

20. You've never disappointed me yet.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 07:57 PM

7. BRAVO!

Well done and


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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #7)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:00 PM

11. I'm glad to share a laugh with everyone.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:20 PM

12. Puuuurfect!

Thanks, TexasTowelie~



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Response to sheshe2 (Reply #12)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:39 PM

15. Your welcome,

Nothing gets people in a better mood for the weekend than a Purrsday catblog thread.

If I could make an income as a freelance catblogger, the only days that I would work are Mewsday, Purrsday, Furriday and Caturday.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:33 PM

13. Duuude! You gotta try this nip!

That looks like my cat.....he is a ginger. He is also an addict.

Your story is hilarious, and I have no doubt it was lots of work. Kudos.

And Kudos on 5000.

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Response to Curmudgeoness (Reply #13)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:45 PM

17. Well, all of the pictures were already saved in the catnip folder on my PC and I only

had to do some minor work to crop a couple of them. Sequencing the photos and developing the storyline took a bit longer, but I wanted to do something special for hitting a round number--after all I have high standards.

Thanks for the kudos.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:38 PM

14. Love it!

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Response to calimary (Reply #14)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:46 PM

18. Thank you,

it's my treat back to DU since everyone keeps me in stitches too.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:40 PM

16. Happy 5 thou, TexasTowelie.. I remember telling

my peeps at work back in the day about my "5 thousands posts on democraticunderground!".

Cutie kitty pics and so's your girlfriend!..

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Response to Cha (Reply #16)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:49 PM

21. I'm glad that you enjoyed the photos, Cha.

Unfortunately, I fibbed on the picture with the young lady but it fit the storyline so well that I couldn't avoid not using the photo. My inner voice tails me that if I was in a serious relationship back then that I wouldn't be blogging today.

Mahalo, my friend.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #21)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 09:08 PM

23. And, of course, I zeroed in on

"the girlfriend"!

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:48 PM

19. Here you go:

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Response to sakabatou (Reply #19)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 08:57 PM

22. I wish I had seen that photo with the caption.

It definitely is a keeper.

I should have taken a little bit more time to caption the remaining pictures, but I have some serious work to do tonight. The realtor placed the "For Sale" sign out in the yard today and there is already a nibble--the first prospective buyer will be here tomorrow at 3. The house still hasn't been listed on the Internet and my search on the Web shows very little property in the area within the price range.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 09:52 PM

24. A true Lounge Classic, Mr. Texas!

and congratulations for lasting so long

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Response to rurallib (Reply #24)

Thu Aug 22, 2013, 10:38 PM

25. Thank you so much.

To get a classic designation is an honor. I had the idea last night as I saw that I was approaching the 5K mark and felt inspired. Hopefully it gave people something to laugh about because it's too easy to take life too seriously.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2013, 10:48 AM

26. Yay!

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Response to Bertha Venation (Reply #26)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 12:28 AM

30. Thank you Bertha Venation.

I had a weird day and I'm fortunate to be here tonight instead of the hospital. I posted a thread about it this evening in The Lounge.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2013, 04:03 PM

27. Thanks for the late Friday afternoon laughs.




...and went catatonic guarding the stash

These are two of my favorites. I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I was looking at these, it would have been all over my keyboard and monitor. Thanks for the hardy laughs.

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Response to life long demo (Reply #27)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 12:34 AM

31. Don't you mean Furriday afternoon laughs?



Considering the pitfalls of riding my bike in Brenham, I'm starting to wonder if I'll get to make a similar OP when I get to 6,000. Getting hit by a vehicle is a traumatic experience (details in another Lounge thread), but I'm okay--at least for now.

At least I had the inspiration to compose this thread though. My creativity has been languishing lately and I need to get to work again for my own self-esteem.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2013, 09:01 PM

28. ctnip

these pics made my day ! thnx !

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Response to kardonb (Reply #28)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 12:37 AM

32. Sometimes you have to go with the flow.

I'm going through at lot of challenges, but I still haven't given up hope and it makes my day sharing laughs with my friends on DU.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2013, 09:10 PM

29. DU is a better place with you here my friend!

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Response to hrmjustin (Reply #29)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 12:45 AM

33. Thank you for the kind words hrmjustin.

It's nice to know that there are some people that appreciate me. The barrage of negative vibes from my family has diminished now that the house is up for sale and the rest of the family can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what life holds for me in the future and I expect to experience more challenges ahead, but I survived getting hit by a vehicle today so apparently there is some reason why I'm here (both on DU and on this planet).

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #33)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 12:46 AM

34. OMG! Are you ok or in the hospital?

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Response to hrmjustin (Reply #34)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 01:04 AM

35. Shaken up with a couple of abrasions, soft tissue injuries and nerve twinges.

I didn't want to be taken into the hospital since I'm uninsured and broke. I posted a thread in the Lounge detailing the story a few hours ago. If she had been in a larger vehicle or driving any faster in reverse gear then I suspect that I would have required admission into a hospital. I'm on the adrenalin high after the incident so tomorrow will probably be the true indicator of how much damage I sustained.

Although the woman stopped and apologized for hitting me, I think that technically it falls into the hit-and-run/failure to render aid categories since she didn't provide identifying information or liability insurance coverage information which I believe is required by Texas law. I memorized her license plate tags and filed a report with the local PD so she might have gotten herself into some serious legal consequences if they trace her down.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #35)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 01:07 AM

36. She may have to pay for your medical bills if you need to go to the doctor.

I wish you the best and I am praying for you.

And I love your posts and the fact you made the Texas room alive again.

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Response to hrmjustin (Reply #36)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 01:27 AM

38. Which is exactly why I wanted the insurance information.

The fact that she was evasive and wouldn't let me take a photo of the proof of insurance card claiming that it had personal financial information was over-the-top. If I woke up tomorrow or a few days from now and didn't suffer any serious repercussions, then I could have let it slide. Even if I am more seriously hurt than what I initially believed, then I could have worked out of settlement. However, when she sped away without thought of my medical condition at the time or what could develop she crossed the line.

I doubt that the police department is going to push the investigation since they only saw a few scrapes on me and they treated me like I was at fault or caused the incident instead of being the victim of a motor accident (the inherent disrespect of LEOs against bicyclists common in Texas). I guess that I'll find out at a later date whether the local PD buries the investigation or if I should contact DPS to try and find out who the owner of the vehicle is.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #38)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 01:30 AM

39. That sucks! I hope you feel better in the days to come. I wish you the best my friend!

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 01:09 AM

37. I love the "Teen cat try pot"

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Response to BlueJazz (Reply #37)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 01:32 AM

40. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

That was a good pic. It seemed like once I started developing the storyline I got on a roll.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 04:20 AM

41. ......heh....

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #41)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 07:57 PM

46. In a sense the video clip is heartbreaking to me.

Earlier this year my two-year-old black cat, Mario, came into the house and I broke out the catnip. We had a delightful time playing and he let me rub that furry underbelly. He stayed in the house the remainder of the night and didn't leave home until the afternoon of the next day. Unfortunately, Mario never returned back home.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #46)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 08:09 PM

50. You think he wandered off while stoned and couldn't find his way back?

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #50)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 08:13 PM

51. Possibly.

He did not come in that Saturday night so I don't know what happened. He was in sexual overdrive also since it was mating season for cats and there also is a field with wild animals about 100 yards away so there is not telling what happened to my buddy.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Reply #51)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 08:41 PM

52. I guess it's best to keep your cat inside if you are going to introduce it to catnip.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 09:38 AM

42. i love cats

and dogs and animals. They are such good buddies.

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Response to heaven05 (Reply #42)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 08:03 PM

47. I agree with your whole-heartedly.

When I was a child I had a dog and then we had some parakeets afterwards. During my college years and twenties I had a red male tabby that was primarily an outdoor cat, but I remember one time when I fell asleep on the couch and when I awoke "Eveready" was sleeping on my chest.

At one point towards the end of my stay in Irving I took in two feral cats that were brother and sister after she had broken her hip. The following spring she gave birth to four kittens in my apartment. Two of those cats disappeared before I moved away; meanwhile, some of my friends at the apartment complex said that they see the two feral cats around frequently. I moved here to Brenham with a black male and a calico female, but the black cat vanished about six months ago so I'm down to my one lap kitteh.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 11:07 AM

43. Awesome!

Have you ever seen this? Fantastic parody:

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Response to Arugula Latte (Reply #43)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 08:05 PM

48. Yes, I've seen that video.

It's a tripping video Arugula so I glad that your reposted it.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 12:41 PM

44. I LOVE gingers and oranges. . .the males in particular. . .

Last edited Sat Aug 24, 2013, 09:55 PM - Edit history (1)

. . .they have that up-to-no-good look on their face half the time.

The females tend to be more mellow: been there, done that, "meh" expression.

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Response to DinahMoeHum (Reply #44)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 02:47 PM

45. Boy orangies are usually big lovebugs for some reason

Cat stereotypes 101

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Response to Arugula Latte (Reply #45)

Sat Aug 24, 2013, 08:06 PM

49. Yes, I had an orange male tabby around in my late teens and early twenties.

He was a great cat that always rubbed up against me and once fell asleep on my chest while I was napping. I thought that it was a pretty cool cat considering it was feral.

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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sun Aug 25, 2013, 07:43 AM

53. Awesome!! So well done! Congrats on 5000 posts! :)

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