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Sat Apr 13, 2013, 06:20 AM

OK, what's YOUR excuse?

And make it a good one.

Time is money.

43 replies, 1912 views

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Arrow 43 replies Author Time Post
Reply OK, what's YOUR excuse? (Original post)
MrScorpio Apr 2013 OP
Scuba Apr 2013 #1
pinboy3niner Apr 2013 #2
pinboy3niner Apr 2013 #3
baldguy Apr 2013 #6
Callmecrazy Apr 2013 #4
In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #5
LeftofObama Apr 2013 #7
Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2013 #8
sarge43 Apr 2013 #9
In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #10
sarge43 Apr 2013 #11
In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #14
sarge43 Apr 2013 #18
In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #19
HappyMe Apr 2013 #12
In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #17
Callmecrazy Apr 2013 #13
In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #16
Brigid Apr 2013 #15
Major Nikon Apr 2013 #20
IrishEyes Apr 2013 #21
Phentex Apr 2013 #22
EvilAL Apr 2013 #23
edbermac Apr 2013 #24
ohiosmith Apr 2013 #25
Lady Freedom Returns Apr 2013 #26
LiberalEsto Apr 2013 #27
Loryn Apr 2013 #28
olddots Apr 2013 #29
kwassa Apr 2013 #30
Bertha Venation Apr 2013 #31
The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2013 #32
Kali Apr 2013 #33
nolabear Apr 2013 #34
applegrove Apr 2013 #35
Jasana Apr 2013 #36
Apophis Apr 2013 #37
bluedigger Apr 2013 #38
rrneck Apr 2013 #39
davsand Apr 2013 #40
hobbit709 Apr 2013 #41
lindysalsagal Apr 2013 #42
Recovered Repug Apr 2013 #43

Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 06:46 AM

1. Sir, no excuse, sir!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 07:00 AM

2. Hold on a sec, okay? I'll get right back to you...



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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 07:06 AM

3. Dear Boss...

(Written by Pat Cooksey)

Dear Boss, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight;
At the time of writing I am not a pretty sight;
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey,
So I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear;
To throw them down from off the top seemed like a good idea;
But the foreman wasn't very pleased, he was an awkward sod,
And he said I had to cart them down a ladder in my hod.

Now, to clear away these bricks by hand to me seemed very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below;
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead;
Hanging tightly to the rope I started up instead;
I sped off like a rocket, and to dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Now, the barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped,
When I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head;
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow,
And the barrel spilled out half its load, 14 floors below.

Well, when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel, and it started up once more;
I held on tightly to the rope, as I flew towards the ground,
And I landed on the broken bricks that were scattered all around.

As I lay there moaning on the bricks, I thought I'd passed the worst,
But when the barrel reached the top was when the bottom burst;
A shower of bricks came down on me, I didn't have a hope,
And in all of the confusion, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel again being heavier, it started down once more,
And landed right on top of me as I lay there on the floor;
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say,
That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today.

http://seamuskennedy.com/pdf/lyrics-live.pdf

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #3)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 07:17 AM

6. Of course Jamie & Adam did this one:

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 07:07 AM

4. I didn't know jello would do that.

and the fire spread too fast.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 07:22 AM

7. Two bowls of Raisin Bran

and only prune juice to wash it down. What did you expect?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:37 AM

8. The IRS office was closed early.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:43 AM

9. At the time seemed like a good idea.

Otherwise got nothin'

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #9)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:47 AM

10. I can see how that might delay things a bit.

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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #10)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:55 AM

11. Yeah. Had to rearrange a lot of schedules.

The paperwork outweighed the train.

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #11)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:59 AM

14. Don't ya just hate it when that happens!

That's why I like being the boss.

My only paperwork is: Checking permits and sending in bills after the job is done.

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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #14)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:05 AM

18. Riff on classic gov't bureaucracy joke

Re Aircraft Accident Board. The investigation isn't completed until the paperwork outweighs the plane. It's just about true. Hell, the regulation itself outweighs the pilot.

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #18)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:12 AM

19. I totally understand that.

I rarely fly if I can drive.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:59 AM

12. Well, it's gonna sound lame, but

I thought turkeys could fly!

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Response to HappyMe (Reply #12)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:04 AM

17. The turkeys up here fly.

just sayin'

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:59 AM

13. I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:00 AM

15. My cat ate my homework.

Honest.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:15 AM

20. I didn't do it

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:53 AM

21. Jake from The Blues Brothers said it best.

Jake: Oh, please, don't kill us! Please, please don't kill us! You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault!
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 02:56 PM

22. I was out of town...

so it could not have been me!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 03:00 PM

23. My mama always said

that there wasn't any excuse for me.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 03:04 PM

24. I was born that way.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 03:07 PM

25. I didn't think one would be missed!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 03:16 PM

26. Well. Uh...

OH!
"The Devil! YES! The devil made me do it!"

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 08:34 PM

27. Sciatica

but if you're referring to taxes, I filed ours back in February.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 09:21 PM

28. Because I don't want to....

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 10:11 PM

29. the dog ate my homework

My fusion generator was on the fritz and the shmengars were frozen.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 10:23 PM

30. I was waylaid by pirates.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 11:02 PM

31. I forgot my meds.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 11:11 PM

32. My dog ate it.

Whatever it was that I was supposed to have, the dog ate it.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 11:13 PM

33. the weather was fine

and guys were working on trucks

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 11:26 PM

34. I was young; I needed the money.

Why? What did you hear?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Apr 13, 2013, 11:29 PM

35. The toilet isn't working. The chain mechanism broke.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 03:02 AM

36. I don't need an excuse.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 03:32 AM

37. It was like that when I got here.

 

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 03:35 AM

38. Was that wrong?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 12:50 PM

39. Oh...

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 12:59 PM

40. That *&^%ing alarm didn't go off.

I'm SURE I set it!



Laura

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 01:48 PM

41. I'm the hobbit, I don't need one.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 02:30 PM

42. He started it.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Apr 14, 2013, 03:14 PM

43. It's not that I'm lazy.

It's just that I don't care.

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