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Sun Feb 10, 2013, 06:36 PM

In the context of a online profile, what does "no drama" mean?

I'm seeing this in many profiles on dating sites and I'm not clear as to what it means.

Things happen to people, good things and bad things and we all carry the scars of things that happened to us. And some people, I think do have an inordinate ability to attract trouble of various kinds, for whatever reason. And I get not wanting to deal with someone who has a lot of issues. Of course it depends on what those issues are.

By I'm not sure this is what they mean by "drama". Do they mean someone who makes a big deal out of nothing (as in "drama queen") or people who argue a lot?

What does it mean to you?

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Arrow 15 replies Author Time Post
Reply In the context of a online profile, what does "no drama" mean? (Original post)
alarimer Feb 2013 OP
Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2013 #1
noamnety Feb 2013 #2
alarimer Feb 2013 #9
In_The_Wind Feb 2013 #3
womanofthehills Feb 2013 #5
In_The_Wind Feb 2013 #7
alarimer Feb 2013 #10
annabanana Feb 2013 #12
siligut Feb 2013 #13
Enrique Feb 2013 #4
alarimer Feb 2013 #11
kalli007 Feb 2013 #6
Yavin4 Feb 2013 #8
Agschmid Feb 2013 #14
Agschmid Feb 2013 #15

Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 06:40 PM

1. To me it means: there will be issues, yes. Do you take them in stride or, do you flip-out over

every little thing.

If you are the kind that flips out over every little thing then it will not work with that person.
They have that before and they don't like it.

on edit: some people Live to Create Drama where none exists. They like to gossip and stir the pot. They need not apply.

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Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 06:52 PM

2. Is this a call-out thread?

It's about me, isn't it. Seriously, I wish you'd just send me a pm or something if you have a problem with something I'm doing. *and now I'm posting to facebook about how passive aggressive you are being by starting this thread.

_____________________

^ That.

I don't think of dramafree as necessarily being without baggage, most of us have some. But anything involving addictions, police, exes who are still actively stalking you and thus will become a part of my life, facebook accounts which function as gossip HQ's, would be a drama red flag for me.

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Response to noamnety (Reply #2)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:32 PM

9. I see

Okay. I just thought that maybe what some people call "drama" is just stuff that happens they don't want to deal with.

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Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 06:59 PM

3. Everyone has baggage, leave teh luggage closed in the beginning of an online meeting.

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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #3)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 07:30 PM

5. Drama can sometimes be a symptom of a personality disorder

The drama often is fighting, breaking up, getting back together with great sex, fighting, breaking up again, etc. There are so many emotions involved all the time that you think you have a great love; so much more exciting than a normal relationship. I've been there with a guy with BPD. It gets old very fast and it's about the drama and their self esteem, not love.

I have a best friend going thru this right now; big drama every two weeks. Big fight - one leaves for a few days and then they are in love again for about 2 weeks till the next drama. They have been together 20 yrs, but you would think they just met the way one or the other is always crying about their relationship.

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Response to womanofthehills (Reply #5)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 07:47 PM

7. That is an interesting story. Personally, I'd be tempted to say: Lighten up.

At my age all I really do say is ~~~>

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Response to womanofthehills (Reply #5)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:34 PM

10. I guess I've never experienced anything like that

so I wouldn't know.

To me "no drama" sounded like code for "I don't want to talk about or deal with issues." or something like that.

Most of the people whose profiles say that have other red flags for me that would preclude my even contacting them.

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Response to womanofthehills (Reply #5)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:37 PM

12. Sounds exhausting..

Everyone needs a little comfy boring in their lives.

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Response to womanofthehills (Reply #5)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:41 PM

13. I knew it was BPD with the first sentence

Classic abandonment/need issues. And they can never own up to their own evil while screaming that everyone is shitting on them.

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Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 07:29 PM

4. fiction and poetry only

no plays

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Response to Enrique (Reply #4)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:35 PM

11. Maybe they only like comedies?

Perhaps I am overanalyzing.

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Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 07:43 PM

6. This is what I think of...

Baby mama drama.

Or whatever term applies to your situation. My last significant relationship came with a great deal of baby mama drama (actually ex wife). I now know what the red flags are and will NOT be going through that again.

That being said - putting a disclaimer out there probably means that person has either been on the giving or receiving end of said drama.

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Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 07:49 PM

8. It means no one from GD

or meta.

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Response to Yavin4 (Reply #8)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 09:58 PM

14. +1 n/t

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Response to alarimer (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2013, 10:00 PM

15. For me personally...

I hate it.

I am a gay man, gay men come with a certain amount of drama built in. Then there is this whole segment of the gay population who when posting on OkCupid, or Grindr, or whatever... "No drama".

Well guess what boys, life has drama built in everyday. I also feel it is some kind of self-deprication/or internal homophobia and yes even us gays have that.

I call bullshit on the "No Drama" in this quite dramatic post.

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