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Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:21 PM

Because Humanity Needs The Assistance, It's Time For Another Edition Of ASK MRSCORPIO

Your worrisome problems, solved. Your most bothersome questions, answered. Your deepest fears, sliced by my sharp wit and keen wisdom, like a parry from Frodo's Sting.

Avail yourself freely, my friends. I am here to help.


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Arrow 40 replies Author Time Post
Reply Because Humanity Needs The Assistance, It's Time For Another Edition Of ASK MRSCORPIO (Original post)
MrScorpio Dec 2012 OP
struggle4progress Dec 2012 #1
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #2
mysuzuki2 Dec 2012 #30
taterguy Dec 2012 #3
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #4
Denninmi Dec 2012 #5
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #6
Denninmi Dec 2012 #7
rurallib Dec 2012 #8
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #10
HipChick Dec 2012 #9
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #13
LiberalEsto Dec 2012 #11
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #14
Baitball Blogger Dec 2012 #12
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #15
madinmaryland Dec 2012 #16
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #18
patricia92243 Dec 2012 #28
LeftofObama Dec 2012 #17
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #19
Tobin S. Dec 2012 #20
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #21
patricia92243 Dec 2012 #29
mysuzuki2 Dec 2012 #22
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #24
Grantuspeace Dec 2012 #23
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #25
In_The_Wind Dec 2012 #26
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #27
MissMillie Dec 2012 #31
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #32
geardaddy Dec 2012 #33
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #36
Bucky Dec 2012 #34
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #37
Bucky Dec 2012 #39
AnneD Dec 2012 #35
MrScorpio Dec 2012 #38
AnneD Dec 2012 #40

Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:38 PM

1. I've completely lost my marbles and can't remember where I was when I last had them.

I've been looking everywhere but no dice -- and no marbles. Whatever shall I do?

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Response to struggle4progress (Reply #1)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:45 PM

2. Let them go…

If they don't come back, you were never meant to have them in the first place.

When you release yourself of them, you will free yourself from the burden of having them.

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Response to struggle4progress (Reply #1)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 12:16 PM

30. What kind of marbles were they?

Aggies or catseyes?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:47 PM

3. I can't find my dogs

Any idea of who (or whom) would have let them out?

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Response to taterguy (Reply #3)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:52 PM

4. Perhaps they let themselves out

Have you ever questioned yourself about how good of a pet daddy that you've been to them?

If they did let themselves out, and it could most certainly point to that, that would be the answer to your question.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:56 PM

5. Thanks, Mr. Scorpio!

You were dead on right last year in you answer to this question:

What will winter bring to Detroit? Should I order rock salt by the ton, or merely take a few dozen of those little salt packets from the counter at Wendy's and call it good?

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Response to Denninmi (Reply #5)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:01 PM

6. Free salt from Wendy's should handle it again this year

I'm expecting another underwhelming winter.

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Response to MrScorpio (Reply #6)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:07 PM

7. Excellent ... Well, ok anyway.

Should have asked you this question BEFORE I bought XC skis and snowshoes.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:08 PM

8. Oh Great Scorpio

Shall I put some money on the Cubs to win the World Series next year?

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Response to rurallib (Reply #8)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:17 PM

10. Only if you buy this bridge that I'm selling first…

And bet whatever you have left over on the Cubs.

Just do me a favor and don't borrow money from a guy name Fat Tony, if you decide to do that.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:15 PM

9. I've been told that I intimidate men..

and that I should act dumb and blonde around them, instead of being my nerdy self...Is this true? Is this the best way to attract a man?

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Response to HipChick (Reply #9)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:30 PM

13. Do you really want to hang out with guys who think that you're an idiot bimbo?

Attracting guys isn't all that hard.

First, you need to smile. A smile is always your best tool. If he smiles back, you're half way there.

Second, let the guy come to you. Men like the chase. Make him think that he caught you.

Third, show some self confidence with your smarts. Guys need to think that you're worth the chase, that the best way. Most of all, be yourself.

And last, be frank about what you expect. Guys never get enough of that.

That should work out for you.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:21 PM

11. I am worried about December 21. Will there be an apocalypse?

And if so, can I have a new DU screenname?

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Response to LiberalEsto (Reply #11)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:33 PM

14. No, there won't be an apocalypse

And keep your username, it suits you well.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:25 PM

12. Mr. Scorpio.

Last year there were four morning doves in my backyard. Now there are sixteen. Why?

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Response to Baitball Blogger (Reply #12)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 04:33 PM

15. Biology. nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 05:09 PM

16. I always thought you were a guy, Mrs. Corpio??



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Response to madinmaryland (Reply #16)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 05:42 PM

18. Thoughts are strange things nt

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Response to madinmaryland (Reply #16)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 09:37 AM

28. Same here :)

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 05:22 PM

17. Dear Mr. Scorpio,

Why do people ignore me all the time. Some friends of mine that I thought were pretty close had a HUGE party back in August and I wasn't even invited. I had a pretty important job for 8 years and everybody wanted to be my friend, now it's like I don't even exist.

Sincerely,

G. W. Bush

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Response to LeftofObama (Reply #17)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 05:43 PM

19. Sorry. You were talking? nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 06:16 PM

20. Okay

Jeanette has 150 acres of land suitable for cultivating crops A and B. The cost of cultivating crop A is $40 per acre, whereas that of crop B is $60 per acre. The farmer has a maximum of $7400 available for land cultivation. Each acre of crop A requires 20 labor hours, and each acre of crop B requires 25 labor hours. Jeanette has a maximum of 3300 labor hours available. If she expects to make a profit of $150 an acre on crop A and $200 an acre on crop B, how many acres of each crop should she plant in order to maximize her profit? Are any resources left over?

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Response to Tobin S. (Reply #20)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:03 PM

21. Thursday. nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Reply #21)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 09:45 AM

29. LOL - great answer!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:10 PM

22. How did I get so fucking old?

And in a related question, why don't young women dig me anymore?

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Response to mysuzuki2 (Reply #22)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:34 PM

24. You've been hanging around the schoolyard a little too long, haven't you?

Try some cocktail lounges instead.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:24 PM

23. What is the air speed of an unladen European Swallow? n/t

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Response to Grantuspeace (Reply #23)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:36 PM

25. It's the name for how fast the bird can fly at any given time nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:39 PM

26. What's on the menu here ~ Restaurant at the End of the Universe?



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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #26)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 07:55 PM

27. Some food that better taste really fucking delicious, if I'm going to take a trip out there nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 02:07 PM

31. Why the heck hasn't the sleet turned to rain yet today?

I don't want to drive home w/ road conditions similar to my ride into work.

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Response to MissMillie (Reply #31)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 02:38 PM

32. The weather is conspiring against you

Not only that, but it has you surrounded too.

There's no escape for you.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 02:45 PM

33. Where is pancakes house?

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Response to geardaddy (Reply #33)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 03:22 PM

36. Follow your nose, it'll take you there nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 03:19 PM

34. How can we solve age-old conflicts like China-Japan, Israel-Palestine, dog-cat?

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Response to Bucky (Reply #34)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 03:23 PM

37. Instead of exchanging bombs and bullets with each other, they should exchange fruitcakes nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Reply #37)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 03:38 PM

39. So you don't even *want* to stop the violence? Does life mean nothing to you?

And if not Life, what about the Saturday Evening Post?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 04:01 PM

35. How can I....

get rid of the voices in my head. I can't find the off switch and the just enhances the signal.

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Response to AnneD (Reply #35)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 03:26 PM

38. I, myself, wouldn't be a paranoid-schizophrenic if the voices in my own head weren't out to get me

The best way to get them to stop talking is for you to talk to yourself.

They're lost lonely, that's all.

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Response to MrScorpio (Reply #38)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 03:54 PM

40. Great idea...

we will do a coffee clatch at Starbucks. I will just wear my phone ear piece and no one will be the wiser.

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