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Tue Nov 27, 2012, 07:04 AM

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record

http://www.theonion.com/articles/42-million-dead-in-bloodiest-black-friday-weekend,30517

According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history.

First responders reporting from retail stores all across the nation said the record-breaking post-Thanksgiving shopping spree carnage began as early as midnight on Friday, when 13 million shoppers were reportedly trampled, pummeled, burned, stabbed, shot, lanced, and brutally beaten to death while attempting to participate in early holiday sales events.

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Reply 42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record (Original post)
drm604 Nov 2012 OP
LiberalEsto Nov 2012 #1
KurtNYC Nov 2012 #2
Initech Nov 2012 #3
sakabatou Nov 2012 #5
Hayabusa Nov 2012 #6
sakabatou Nov 2012 #4

Response to drm604 (Original post)

Tue Nov 27, 2012, 08:57 AM

1. And those that survived

pooped in the dressing rooms and merchandise displays.

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Response to drm604 (Original post)

Tue Nov 27, 2012, 12:15 PM

2. "You can have my Wii-U when you pry it from my cold dead hands !"

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Response to drm604 (Original post)

Tue Nov 27, 2012, 01:35 PM

3. Highest body count ever!!

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Response to Initech (Reply #3)

Tue Nov 27, 2012, 02:43 PM

5. Huh... According to Movie Body Counts.com

LotR: Return of the King has the largest body count.

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Response to sakabatou (Reply #5)

Tue Nov 27, 2012, 03:04 PM

6. Technically, I'd say it was A New Hope

When Alderaan went kaboom.

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Response to drm604 (Original post)

Tue Nov 27, 2012, 02:41 PM

4. Friday Bloody Friday

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