I need some help writing a message to my wife for our anniversary card.

[Victor_c3]

We will have been married 8 years and we’ve kind of drifted apart. We don’t talk that much and we focus all of our energy working on our kids (who are 2 and 4 years old). I want to write something thoughtful and promising about the future of our relationship, but I have a hard time communicating and writing stuff like this. Any help I could get would be greatly appreciated. I want to keep it short.

Here is what I have so far:

"I know that we’ve drifted apart recently and that instead of focusing on each other we’ve been putting our energies into raising our children. I just want you to know that I am still here to be your partner in life and I hope to work to bring us together again in the future."


Anyways, any help would be greatly appreciated!

[HereSince1628]

1. IMO, never EVER say ANYTHING negative. DON'T!!!! suggest you are drifting apart.

Tell her that you admire her committment to the kids that she's doing a great job, and that you look forward to being closer to her.

Disclaimer: I've been divorced twice, the cost of being completely honest is brutal.

[nolabear]

2. Take a deep breath and write something like (IF you mean it)

&quot Name) I love you. I am so glad you're my wife. I can't imagine going through this life and raising our children with anyone else, and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you. Let's find a way to spend more time together and talk more, because you are my wife, my love and my partner, and my world will be richer for having more of you in it."

Then follow through. But as I said, ONLY if you mean it.

[Victor_c3]

3. Thanks for the pointers

Essentially it sounds like you guys rephrased what I was trying to say into something more positive. Thanks the help!

I'll check back in a little bit before I actually write out the note.

[Sanity Claws]

4. They gave you excellent advice

Make sure it is positive and that it is a statement of love; don't make it a statement of how you want things to work out.

[Victor_c3]

5. Geeze you guys aren't just level-headed on your politics

You also have some good advice and ideas on other things as well!

[HopeHoops]

6. OOOOKEY-Day...

Babe (fill in her name),

Every couple has their differences. Some fail to stick with their vows. My vow to you is as solid as it was the day I said it. We've got problems, I know that, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. It never will.

Please stay with me forever. I love you more now than I did when I met you, or when I married you for that matter. You're my girl and that's all I want.

Happy anniversary babe. You make me happy.

----

Just a template, but something to work with. Do NOT mention the children (sign of grasping at straws).

Caveat: I've been with my lady since '84 and married since '87. We've been through some rough times, but as you get older they get rougher - mostly for medical reasons.

Oh, and a good muff dive and reaming wouldn't hurt the situation, if you know what I mean. Do you know how to make a mushroom, spinach, and swiss cheese omelet? That would help the situation - along with a bottle of merlot.

Advice from a happily married old fart - with a lot of experience in this arena.

[RedCloud]

7. Send her on a scavenger hunt.

Put a message with a clue near her pillow that morning...

Dear (Fill in the blank) and don't you dare call her "Fill in the blank !

Lead her to some sentimental items such as a portrait when you first met, or the lyrics to your favorite song, etc.

Keep it going. Be creative! Go to a bottle of your favorite beverage, maybe some candles perhaps some flowers, etc...

If she is curious and enjoys teasing intrigue, this will do the trick.

PS my kids love this so much they make me redo the whole damn thing!

[nolabear]

8. We used to do this with our kids all the time. It would be fun!

I never thought about doing the adult version for an anniversary. Nice idea!