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Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:40 AM

Kayden update.

Kayden's mother was released from jail. Prositution is not a crime they keep you for. She immediatly went to get kayden at which time grandmother called Police since Kayden is now ward of the state but in grandma's care. Police advised Kayden's mother to stay away and she needed to contact CPS for further instructions. Gramdma called me and warned me that Kayden's mother was on her way to "beat my ass" She showed up with her boyfriend and they both looked like they were high on meth. They had this Jaw moving action and big eyes. OMG, they had a dog with them. They were pulling the dog in a wagon.

She tried to yell at me and I just kept repeating.. you left your child with a stranger. Do you know me? She said no one I know will take him anymore. (probably becuase she leaves for days)

My husband, my 9 year old, and I also have a 20 year old son.. were all here and she left without incident.

I have Grandma's number now and I will help her with babysitting and clothes. Grandma told me Kayden's mom is not welcome in her house becuase she is on drugs and gets hostile and violent. She also said that when Kaydens mom did live with her she brought home various strange men in the house. Prefers to be homeless then to get off the drugs, stay away from these various men. Grandma says she has been trying to help her for years.

Thank you all. Kayden is no longer running the streets with his mom. He is safe.

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Arrow 39 replies Author Time Post
Reply Kayden update. (Original post)
fun n serious Oct 2012 OP
HappyMe Oct 2012 #1
NYC_SKP Oct 2012 #2
MissHoneychurch Oct 2012 #3
myrna minx Oct 2012 #4
Tuesday Afternoon Oct 2012 #5
progressoid Oct 2012 #6
fun n serious Oct 2012 #7
redwitch Oct 2012 #8
pipi_k Oct 2012 #9
renate Oct 2012 #10
CaliforniaPeggy Oct 2012 #11
ChisolmTrailDem Oct 2012 #12
Javaman Oct 2012 #13
LisaL Oct 2012 #14
iamthebandfanman Oct 2012 #17
treestar Oct 2012 #26
Shanti Mama Oct 2012 #15
hedgehog Oct 2012 #16
freshwest Oct 2012 #38
TrogL Oct 2012 #18
intheflow Oct 2012 #25
Tuesday Afternoon Oct 2012 #31
Shanti Mama Oct 2012 #33
BillyJack Oct 2012 #35
HopeHoops Oct 2012 #19
mnhtnbb Oct 2012 #20
fun n serious Oct 2012 #21
IdaBriggs Oct 2012 #22
We People Oct 2012 #23
Tsiyu Oct 2012 #27
TrogL Oct 2012 #32
freshwest Oct 2012 #39
Raven Oct 2012 #24
onecent Oct 2012 #28
GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #29
MrsBrady Oct 2012 #30
elleng Oct 2012 #34
840high Oct 2012 #36
LiberalAndProud Oct 2012 #37

Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:47 AM

1. You are truly a wonderful,

caring, brave person.

I'm glad the boy is safe and being cared for.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:48 AM

2. Thank you for the update.

Meth.


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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:49 AM

3. Thank you for the update

glad you had your family around when the mom and bf showed up. And I am glad that grandma gave you a warning.

Good luck to Kayden.

And thank you again for being there for the little boy.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:51 AM

4. Thank you for the update.

I'm so glad he's now away from that frightening life his mother forced upon him. You did the right thing.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:53 AM

5. Thanks for the Update. Sounds like you are on the way to turning Kayden's life around.



I am so glad that you can be there for this little boy and his Grandmother.

Maybe, given time the Mother will choose a different path . . .

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:56 AM

6. Good to hear.

Stay safe.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 10:02 AM

7. I'm optimistic

that Kaydens mom will drop the BF and get herself in treatment. Sending positive energy her way. I know that is what Kayden wants.

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Response to fun n serious (Reply #7)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 10:35 AM

8. I am glad.

I hope she turns her life around too. Thank you for your kindness to the little guy.

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Response to fun n serious (Reply #7)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:10 AM

9. I would like to be as well

but addiction is a very powerful thing. The odds against her are probably not very good right now.

But at least Kayden is safe now. I truly hope his mom gets the help she needs and that she is clean for an extended length of time before she gets her son back. There are times when it's really NOT in the best interest of the child to be with the parent.

Anyway, thank you for the update, and for helping his grandmother out with some of the things he needs. I hope the cycle of addiction/abuse has been stopped here with your kindness and compassion.



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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:16 AM

10. well, I retract what I said about his mom yesterday

I'm the most gullible person ever, and this is further proof.

Have you called the police to tell them about this? You may need to get a restraining order. At the very least there should be a record of this incident.

She should be ashamed of herself for treating a person who had been kind to her and her son this way. You are a very good person and a very brave one--I'd have wet myself if two people like that showed up at my door.

How sweet of you to help his grandmother with his care--and how fantastic it is that because of you he will be safe now! You just changed Kayden's life! What an amazing thing!

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:19 AM

11. My dear fun n serious...

I am so glad to read this update! It is a big relief to hear that Kayden is safe and taken care of.

You did a remarkably brave and intelligent thing when you helped him. And I'm glad you will continue to be in touch with him and his grandmother.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:22 AM

12. You should now be very

comforted by your own decisions during this entire affair.

You, fun n serious, are an angel and I hope now that you've seen the real Kayden's mom (I read the entire previous thread but didn't comment) in action, you will feel none of the anxiety you felt before for calling the police.

Kayden is damn lucky to have you as his friend, a stranger no more. I hope his mother gets her life together and can eventually see that it was you who saved their lives.

Thank you for helping Kayden and thanks for the update.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:23 AM

13. Damn meth.

slowly rotting society.

I'm glad the kid's okay.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:29 AM

14. I am concerned that CPS place this child with grandma.

If for one thing-his mother knows where he is. Don't they have foster homes to place him, at least temporarily?

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Response to LisaL (Reply #14)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:52 AM

17. thought it was pretty standard practice

to attempt to find blood relatives the child is familiar with versus a foster situation, if possible?

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Response to iamthebandfanman (Reply #17)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 03:24 PM

26. Yes.

They definitely first see if there is family who can take the child and they are considered foster parents too.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:35 AM

15. Dear fun n serious,

You are, indeed, an angel. That the decision tore you apart shows the depth of your compassion. That you will stay in contact and continue to help amplifies this. Many would choose not to "get involved" and would have called CPS immediately. You were gracious, loving and kind.

My day has been made so much brighter by reading your story and all the supportive comments on DU.

Thank you!

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:38 AM

16. Thank -you!

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

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Response to hedgehog (Reply #16)

Tue Oct 9, 2012, 02:37 AM

38. +1

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:56 AM

18. Have you ever dealt with an addict before?

Addicts can be incredibly obsessive and fixative. She first identified you as the solution to her problems. Now she may think you're the cause of all her problems. Addicts also keep crazy hours. She could show up on your doorstep at any hour of the day or night, likely high and dangerous possibly with boyfriend in tow at a time when you don't have a lot of people there to help.

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Response to TrogL (Reply #18)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 03:12 PM

25. I second this post.

I hope the OP takes it seriously lets the police know she's been harassed by this addict. Get a restraining order against her in the very least.

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Response to TrogL (Reply #18)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 07:39 PM

31. ^^^^^ I third this post. ^^^^^

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Response to TrogL (Reply #18)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 10:27 PM

33. And a 4th

Please, fun n serious, report the incident with the mom showing up.
Play it safe at all times.
We've got your back.

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Response to TrogL (Reply #18)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:46 PM

35. I agree with this post too

...and I believe that we are all saying this "not to scare you" at all. It's just that you should be aware of this possiblity of her showing up at an odd hour of the day or night. IF that should happen, and it may not, just think about it now - ahead of time - what will you do/how will you respond?

I think it would be prudent to report the incident to police, and ask the police, "what should you do if she and/or her boyfriend show up again"?

You truly are an angel for what you did for that little boy. Just be a bit prepared mentally ahead of time, for what you would do in the unlikely event that the mother and/or boyfriend might show up again.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:56 AM

19. Find out what size clothes he wears. We've probably got some unisex "too smalls".

 

I'm glad you took action. My wife's (much older) half-sister did something similar with her folks. She dropped off a station wagon full of kids (several of them not even hers, various boyfriends) with no contact information, said she was going into town and would be back in an hour. She didn't return. My wife's parents finally accepted them all, got them vaccinated (no records), and enrolled them in school. Shortly before school was to start, she showed up one day, loaded them all in the back of the station wagon and took off.

Kids need to come first. They'll be around longer than we will and they'll be the ones shaping the world in a few short years.



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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 12:05 PM

20. You need to call CPS and report the visit from the mom with boyfriend

and that they tried to intimidate you.

CPS will be doing an investigation to develop a long-term plan
for Kayden that will undoubtedly include whether his mom
will end up with parental rights terminated if she can't get her act
together, get off drugs, find a job, get a stable place to live. In the interim,
they may require visits from his mom to be supervised--
and NOT at Grandma's house--but probably at CPS offices.

You have done the right thing for Kayden.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 12:27 PM

21. Thats a good idea

To let CPS know they came last night. I am not special, anyone in my postition would have done the same. Kayden is going to need a lot of counseling. He has seen a lot in his young years. Thanks again everyone.. I was torn about calling the police but you guys made what I knew I had to do a lot easier.

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Response to fun n serious (Reply #21)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 12:39 PM

22. Thank you for what you did.

You did *everything* exactly right!

On behalf of Kayden, I say "THANK YOU!" On behalf of every child in need of help, I say "THANK YOU!" On behalf of my own, if they should ever be in need, I say "THANK YOU!"

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Response to fun n serious (Reply #21)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 02:43 PM

23. You did the right thing and I'm thankful for you

Just know that DU is here as a resource for you. I didn't even realize there's such a wealth of people here with Social Services experience or connections, and plenty of compassion and common sense.

You are a hands-on heroine here and our thoughts are with your household and little Kayden.

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Response to fun n serious (Reply #21)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 03:36 PM

27. Yes, definitely let them know

When CPS takes this before the family court, they will have this "visit" to you in writing and it will factor in how they supervise Mom's visitation with her son. You might want to let the cops know as well, so they can write a police report about it. Paper trail and all that....

Chances are, since her son is with Grandma, you won't be a target any more. She will target her rage toward CPS and Grandma, not good either, but I hate to think of your family living in fear because this woman dumped her child off on you and you did the right thing by the little guy.

You're a good person, you did good by Kayden, and I hope it's all uphill for now.

Mom has a lot of choices to make; hopefully she will start making the right ones, though it sounds like she is an addict and her love for her son will have to somehow overcome her love of the streets.


Edit to add: If she shows up again, call 911 immediately and notify CPS. Glad Grandma gave you a heads up!




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Response to fun n serious (Reply #21)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 09:06 PM

32. My old boyfriend was an addict

He got so out of control I had to take out a restraining order.

The police understood the situation exactly and he was on the next plane out of town.

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Response to fun n serious (Reply #21)

Tue Oct 9, 2012, 02:42 AM

39. Please be sure to let the police know of this last incident and stay safe. You and your family may

End up being life-long friends to this child and his grandmother. If she got hold of him, by force or threats, one of her boyfriends might kill him. I am so proud of you and your family for stepping up to help, but just be aware that you now have some enemies in this world. It's not fair, but it is true. All the advice up thread from what I've seen around, bear out what they are saying. May you and your family have the strength and time to put this in perspective and take care so that you can be there for your family and Kayden as he gets older. This is going to take a long, long time to be over. It may take some years. Be sure that you are safe.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 03:00 PM

24. Boy, I wish I knew you. I consider what you

did for that little boy to be one of the greatest gifts he'll get in his lifetime. Let's see, you were

brave
compassionate
courageous
smart
and a bunch of other things and now you are following through.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 03:44 PM

28. It is nice to know there are "angels" like you among us. Take care

people on drugs (as we all know) are very unpredictable. Not trying to scare you...just be aware.
You have done a wonderful deed for a young boy.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 03:58 PM

29. Thank goodness things are turning out for the best!!

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 07:33 PM

30. I agree

with someone else that suggested you tell CPS and or police about her
showing up. If she shows up again, and threatens you, you may want to go ahead and call
911. You need to keep yourself safe, too. I doubt she will come back, but just be aware.

Also, I wanted to say I'm very proud of you for making that call!
See, you did it
Now that boy will get some help, and it seems to me his grandmother is glad to have him
back without his mother.

I would have responded earlier, but I was off today and was running errands.

Blessings to you

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:21 PM

34. Thanks for what you've done!

I hope Grandma can care for Kayden properly. Better than 'strangers,' I guess, as long as she's capable. Hope she doesn't promote antagonism/estrangement between Kayden and his mother, and lets him settle that in his own mind.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Mon Oct 8, 2012, 11:47 PM

36. You're an angel.

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Response to fun n serious (Original post)

Tue Oct 9, 2012, 12:41 AM

37. Hello dear fun n serious.

Bless you. Be safe.

I read when you first posted, but had no advice to offer. I suspected meth immediately. It consumes a person from the inside out and will consume everyone within distance along with them. It is everywhere.

You rescued that child. You may have saved his life. I can't say enough, bless you.

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