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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsEpic statements you have uttered at times in your life, good or bad.
What have you said to others or just yourself that you will never forget? Epic, weird, or just memorable.
A few of mine:
"What the fuck did you just do? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?" - just this past July, when I discovered I had a habit of running red lights during rush hour traffic, part of my recent crisis. (I'm good now, no worries really. Modern medicine is great.)
"Too bad you can't backdate the paperwork by 3 days" - said to a hospital worker when signing surgical consent forms Oct 3 2009. My insurance changed oct 1st, out of pocket limit went from $500 to $5000. Those 3 days cost me a lot of money for a small hernia repair.
"I brought you a box of frogs" -said to a Circuit Court judge I was interning for in 1996. She and I shared a passion for water gardening, but she was lamenting the fact no frogs ever found her pond. So I caught 5 of the multitude in my pond and brought them to her. She was thrilled, at lunch she drove me to her house a few miles from the courthouse and we put them in the her pond.
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)but i'll be damned if i can remember any of it right now
mnhtnbb
(31,384 posts)(Oct 5) past the cut-off (September 30th) for entry into the public schools where we were living at the time.
When he was born in California, the entry cut-off date was later in the fall.
I had him in simultaneous 3 and 4 year old pre-school trying to determine whether
he was 'ready' and should go ahead or would be better to hold him back a year.
He seemed to me to 'fit' better with the older kids. I also had him 'tested' by
a child psychologist who told me he was 'ready' to start kindergarten.
I went to the public school system and asked for a waiver to have him start kindergarten
when he was 5 days shy of the birthday cut-off date. Took it all the way to the superintendent
who refused to let him start public school. My comment to him? "If I'd known he would be
starting school in Missouri for kindergarten, I would have had his birth induced on his due
date of September 28th in California where he was born." The superintendent looked at me
like I was crazy. I thought it was a pretty good comment.
I ended up enrolling him in parochial school and he stayed there through 2nd grade until we moved
out of Missouri.
Sedona
(3,769 posts)said to my husband of 28 years, who left for good the next day for the younger woman I didn't know was in the picture.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)... her car. Telephone poles aren't very forgiving.
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)Sorry that happened.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)But yeah, it is hard to respond to. I take a walk through my own personal hell every mid-August.
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)You know there was a time in my life that coulda been me -- I remember long late night drives at 80 mph to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the night when I was 16. Anyway, sorry you have to live with that.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)I lost several girlfriends because they couldn't handle my necessity to discuss it. My wife did. I rarely talk about it now, but it was a major influence on my life view. It was only three years after I lost my brother to Reye's Syndrome, so I was already fucked up to begin with. Hell, I'm still fucked up about both of them, who am I kidding.
She thought I was cheating on her (I wasn't) and I just wanted to be alone for a while. I yelled "FUCK YOU!" and took off in my Maverick. I was the better driver. I stopped in a parking lot for a cigarette and then doubled back. That's when I saw the emergency vehicles and found her car wrapped around the telephone pole. All I remember is the cops or EMTs telling me to put out my cigarette (gasoline) and seeing her in the car. I knew she was dead. I fell on the ground yelling "I KILLED HER!" Technically, I didn't, as my friends told me. It was her choice to chase me. I was just the better driver.
Sorry. I just needed to get that off of my chest. Alert and have the thread hidden for me.
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)Don't apologize. I understand your pain. I'm glad you can talk to your wife about it.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)And no problem.
G'night!
Baitball Blogger
(46,702 posts)"You do it and I'll fuck you up! I swear I'll fuck you up!"
I mean, how do you say that to someone and expect to have any kind of relationship afterwards?
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)one day I'd thank her for how poorly she treated me. She told me I was "fucked in the head." I was 17.
I told her: "You're the one who's been divorced three times, and you're telling a teenager she's 'fucked in the head'? I'll never thank you for this, lady. And I'll never forgive you."
And I never have.
Baitball Blogger
(46,702 posts)OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)And yes there is something to be said for forgiveness, but there has to be a point to it. Like you want to forgive a person because they are pleasant to be around and you'd rather save the existing relationship than live with the anger. Here, she wasn't pleasant and there was no existing relationship to start enjoying again. So (other than the fact that my dad would probably have liked me to forgive her), I've lost nothing by cutting of all ties.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,681 posts)I would like to have occasion to say "I brought you a box of frogs."
JoeyT
(6,785 posts)Stuff that in hindsight I can't believe I said or did, right up until the next time I do something equally nuts.
Once when a friend was distilling for an engine (It's legal with a permit.) we got into an argument over how much ethanol was left in the cooker. He swore there was no alcohol left, I swore there was. Idiot that I am I said "Alright, I'm not arguing with you anymore, I'll damned well show you.". Then I leaned over and struck a cigarette lighter in the middle of a cloud of ethanol fumes. My friends, showing their usual concern over my well being said (before the flames were even completely out) "Dude, that was so awesome! You looked like Ghost Rider!" My response: "I told you there was alcohol left, you assholes. I hate you."
I was super lucky it wasn't a large cooker and there wasn't very much ethanol left in there. I'd hate my last words to be "I'll damned well show you!", though I suspect they will be.
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)I once told an anecdote about this guy "I dated for five minutes." I got the job.
undeterred
(34,658 posts)I said
"All the people I've worked for have gone on to be very successful."
Which made sense at the time but sounds really silly now.
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts).
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... my first of several answers to "WHY do you want to do this?" was "Just once,
I'd like to show up at work in my underwear and not get laughed at."
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When I got approved, the woman in charge of the program called me into her
office to let me know that my application had been approved... and that THAT
answer had been what made it a foregone conclusion.
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OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)sarge43
(28,941 posts)We should be thankful shit isn't being tested."
When the Air Force started to doing drug testing, I had to do a 'here's some more foolishness' cover letter to the base unit commanders. Cobbled it up, sent it to Grendel's Cave for the blessing and got it back with a post it (DD Form 95) reading "find a better word for urine". Threw it in the bullshit basket for a half hour, then walked it back and said the above.
Populist_Prole
(5,364 posts)Some 20 years ago at work we were going through rough times financially, which led to cutbacks, layoffs, and overall terrible morale. Anyway one of the middle-ish managers showed up one night to speak at one of the usual bi-weekly crew meetings/briefs. He was always known as a bit of an unpolished and high-handed martinet who managed by intimidation ( It wouldn't surprise me if he used a picture of William Deming as a dart board ) So he begins by basically saying ( in so many words ) that we're not measuring up and we had better learn to do more with less and how it's going to be different from now on blah blah blah. He then said he really needs our help as he is in a bind from his superiors and how we all have to pull together blah blah blah ( typical patronizing BS )
I don't know why, perhaps the condescension was more than I could take, but I dryly replied, beginning with a slight snort, "Well, you sure know how to ask a favor, don't you?" Everyone began to chuckle, even him. My coworkers were surprised I even spoke at all. They still remind of of this today.
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)in high school we were driving around somewhat stoned and we saw a hot chick on the sidewalk behind us. My friend said, "she's hot" and I added "yes and she's closer then she appears, too". I was seated in the front seat and had only seen her in the side view mirror.
Response to Denninmi (Original post)
undeterred This message was self-deleted by its author.
LiveNudePolitics
(285 posts)and we were discussing a friend who starred in a movie called "The Repenetrator", and someone heard he was dating his costar. NOW--It drives me crazy when I come up short trying to remember something, and when I couldn't come up with the young lady's name, I said in frustration, "You know -- the one with the asshole!" The gang went wild.
Needless to say, it's been a source of giggles at my expense every year.
I hope I don't get an alert for this post!
MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts).
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Once was in the Army, when a young West Pointer lieutenant whose ego was only eclipsed
by his status as an asshole (I only met one of them who I thought was a decent human
being -- although not so with the non-West Point officers) was giving me grief and said
something "how your mother failed in raising you!"
.
It hasn't been true for a long time, but Congress used to issue some sort of proclamation
declaring West Point graduates "officers and gentlemen".
.
I told him that my mother had RAISED me to be a gentleman and that it had taken an
Act of Congress to MAKE him one.
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Lucky to get away with that... but he was even known by his peers to be an asshole.
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I think I got it from a little-known but good novel about WWI-era soldiers in Arizona.
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The other line I'm pretty sure I got from Burt Reynolds in "The Longest Yard" (though
it might have been Paul Newman in "Cool Hand Luke" .
.
For close to a year, I was the ONLY person in the audience at our community radio
station's bi-monthly board meetings. They had done some pretty shaky things because
they were working behind completely closed doors. So I started showing up just to have
SOME sort of "community presence" there -- to observe, scold and educate. Eventually,
a LOT of people came on board (so to speak)... in fact, it's how I met Kali.
.
Anyways, one meeting I was about to addressing the Board during the, ahem...
Call-to-Audience. I had learned from experience that they would just stare straight
ahead stonily, not giving an indication of hearing what I was saying, let alone listening.
.
I started and stopped right away. "Look... it just doesn't seem fair, me standing here
all by myself facing off with the eight of you."
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"I'd be happy to wait for awhile if you feel like going out and getting some more guys."
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So help me, 3 or 4 of them started to laugh until silenced by a cleared throat and a
glare from the Board prez.
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(I used that line within the last week here on DU... which is probably why I remembered
if for this.)
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mopinko
(70,089 posts)rug
(82,333 posts)That was a question on the New York Bar application.
I answered, "Yes."
I then went on a five paragraph discussion of Brandenburg v. Ohio.
After I was called in to meet with the Committee on Character and Fitness, I went on a five minute monologue about Salvador Allende.
After that they gave up and let me in.
Nikia
(11,411 posts)Which I said to my three year old son after he said to another young child on the slide "Out of my way. Take turns."