What can we do to make the Lounge a more friendly and welcoming place for everyone?

[ohiosmith]

Personally I have always felt welcome here. Some however do not. What can we do to remedy that?

[bamacrat]

1. Have those who are not comfortable invest heavily in skin thickening cream. n/t

[nadine_mn]

77. where can I get some of that...my mom needs it

good lord she is oversensitive, and my mother in law too

[Rosie1223]

2. get rid of the sacred cows.

[nolabear]

12. Doesn't "Get rid of" go against the concept?

[Rosie1223]

17. I meant get rid of the 'sacred' not the 'cow'

[Ptah]

3. Bees! More bees. and flowers, sunflowers, that's the ticket.

[Liberal Veteran]

10. Okay.

[klook]

101. OMG, that's hilarious

I'd never seen this before... Oprah as demonic Queen of the Killer Bees. Brilliant. Originally on Conan O'Brien, as probably everybody but me knew:

[Honeycombe8]

97. I like bees. And honeycombs.

[geardaddy]

4. Have a welcome wagon.

[HappyMe]

5. I have always felt welcome here.

I don't understand all the clique complaints. There is usually a pretty wide range of threads for people to participate in.

[DryHump]

6. I should

like to bake brownies.

[HopeHoops]

7. Apparently, part of that involves me not posting anymore. I just got a wagon of shit.

At the time, I thought it was an appropriate post, but I've been slammed all over the place for it. Yeah, I'm crude. So are you, Major Nikon, MFM, and sometimes LynneSin, but we've got a conflict of standards and it isn't like GD where you just can't joke about anything. I think the general opinion is we need to back off on sexually-related stuff, but that's a good third of The Lounge material to begin with. Then again, there's always the "ignore" feature.

[Scuba]

8. I was crude once too. I have an "internal" ignore button that works great, never need the DU one.

[pipi_k]

9. Must have missed

that one...

But whatever. I'm crude too, sometimes, although not about sexual stuff.

I'm more into the bodily functions crude humor category.

You're right though...if people don't want to see crude humor of any kind, "ignore" and "trash thread" work pretty well.

[LynneSin]

11. I'm sometimes crude?

[HopeHoops]

13. Hey. Only sometimes.

[DryHump]

14. Dear Hope Hoops:

I think you're hysterically funny. Don't ever stop posting.

[HopeHoops]

15. Thank you, but apparently I'm not so funny to some members. And FUCK YOU!

I just had to throw that in for kicks.

[sharp_stick]

36. This was alerted on

as an "experiment" in meta by someone who was offended by your naughty language. Not much of an experiment IMO I didn't even see a hypothesis or a decent replication of results.

If stuff posted here is offensive to people that can stomach the cesspool that is Meta we're in a heap o' trouble as a society.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/1240148107

[HappyMe]

45. Yeah, I saw that.

It was also suggested that more alerts be made to round out the 'experiment'.

The Thought/Language Police ride again!

[HopeHoops]

64. If anyone couldn't detect that it was tongue-in-cheek, I'm a bit shocked, AND...

... it takes a lot to shock me. Thanks for the head's up. I've been amazed at how many times it has been necessary to put in a smiley when it shouldn't be necessary. I think the smilies in that post should have served the same purpose. I suppose we'll have to leave it up to FSM and his noodly appendage.

[MiddleFingerMom]

68. I think the sarcasm smilie is kinda insulting.

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On VERY rare occasions, I see the need for it (with really dry humor, for instance).
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I've almost NEVER used it (though I have) as I feel it would be me saying, "I don't think much of your judgment."
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That's my PERSONAL perspective anyways. Your results may vary. If dripping with sarcasm for more than four
hours, consult a physician.
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[digonswine]

84. Some folks really REALLY do not "get" sarcasm-

I don't know why this is, but it is true. I know a few people with whom I must be quite literal and not use sarcasm, or else I will need to explain what I meant. It's weird. I'm not sure what a sarcasm non-understander would be doing in the Lounge, though!

[HopeHoops]

103. I rarely use it in The Lounge, but in GD and P2012 it seems essential.

I've been really shocked at how the simplest pun can lead to a subthread of vitriol, sometimes even WITH the sarcasm smiley.

[CreekDog]

92. From your name, I see you both have something in common

[ohiosmith]

23. Guess I missed the shit wagon post!

[HopeHoops]

24. Just as well.

[nolabear]

16. Lay off the dogpiling and cut everybody some slack. And quit assuming we know what's happening.

I like the Lounge a lot but like the rest of DU I am astounded when people feel the need to jump on something they don't like. I don't mean political arguments or something that's truly offensive, but that they don't like in the way you might not like a TV show and choose to cuss the TV rather than change the channel. Imo it's wrong to use another DUer to essentially talk to one another in the dog pile as if the person who posted isn't a person but something to riff of of in an offensive way (as opposed to cooperative humor where there's some affection and the subject is in on the joke).

And the projection is always a problem. Like the whole internet, you can't see faces, hear nuance, know the back story, so you naturally project those that are running around in your head anyway. It takes an inordinate amount of trust to just believe what someone tells you and let it go. That's a hard thing but it's the death of many online relationships.

Assume the best of others unless you have reason to do otherwise.

My two. I'd love to know what others think.

Oh, and pie. More pie.

[OriginalGeek]

18. Yep.

What Nolabear said.

[pink-o]

41. That's cuz Nolabear is freakin awesome. n/t

[OriginalGeek]

49. I have held that same opinion for quite some time.

[nolabear]

51. Thanks to you both. You're sweet. I think I put my foot in my mouth sometimes

and really that's not so bad because there's nothing like a good cockup to make you realize people make mistakes and it's good to let things slide if you can. What's sad is when bridges just plain get burned, but that's life too.

(Oh look! You've got me waxing philosophical!)

[OriginalGeek]

91. Judging by a recent thread

waxing philosophical is better than waxing Brazilian!

[Indpndnt]

93. Oh, dear.

[KurtNYC]

19. +1

The internet in general draws out one-line hit-and-run jabs from some people. There is free floating anger that gets attracted to anything that looks like a lighting rod.

I also think the use of sarcasm and the sarcasm icon are a lazy and unfunny excuse for some to bully and mock other DUers.

[HappyMe]

20. Well said.

I agree 100%.

[MiddleFingerMom]

40. !!!

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But only for the pie part.
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[Rosie1223]

47. Except one man's dogpile is another man's sticking up for a friend.

and pie is awesome.

[Kali]

58. excellent post

[hunter]

62. You used the word "Assume..."

This thread needs some Benny Hill.

[Alduin]

21. It'd be nice to see more than the same few people posting.

[MineralMan]

25. If regulars in the Lounge are nice to new people,

that might happen.

[Baitball Blogger]

50. The reception is a major improvement over Meta.

It's like anywhere else. Some people respond to your posts, and some posts get ignored. It happens to newcomers and old timers. Ask MFM.

[MineralMan]

54. Meta's function and SOP is very different from

that of the Lounge. Comparing them makes no sense. Read the Lounge's SOP again.

[Baitball Blogger]

60. Meta should actually be more informative and less combative. It rarily is.

The Lounge is more flexible and if there are people here complaining about how some people are getting better responses than others, maybe you should count the number of contributions they bring to the Lounge. The more you post, the more chances you have of posting a topic that someone wants to respond to.

Also, don't expect people to run to you with open arms if you give them nothing but heartache in other forums. That's unrealistic.

[geardaddy]

27. Yes it would.

Post more!

[Indpndnt]

94. New people are sometimes ignored. That doesn't bother me, though.

I have teenagers. I'm used to being ignored. I muddle on, anyway, even if I end up talking to myself.

[madinmaryland]

22. Welcome to DU!!

[geardaddy]

26. I've never felt welcome here.

[HappyMe]

30. Well, if you would

stop with all the sex and potty jokes.....harrumph!

[geardaddy]

31. Who me?

[ohiosmith]

32. No pudding for you!

[geardaddy]

33. D'oh!

[Warren DeMontague]

74. Welcome here doesnt like being felt

I know, i tried

[geardaddy]

78. I have the slapmark to prove it!

[Warren DeMontague]

80. Slapmark

Now there is a fine DU'er

[geardaddy]

82. ...

[Dr. Strange]

28. More donuts.

Also, get rid of the muzak playing in the background--replace it with Rush. Put all of their albums in the player and hit the randomizer.

Also, lighten up on the "no pants" rule. I think that's all that needs to be said there.

Also, no Dallas Cowboys.

[ohiosmith]

35. There would be more donuts if you chipped in once in a while!

Lighten up on the acid! The Muzak system was repossessed two years ago for lack of payment.

See HopeHoops about the "no pants" rule. He is the Administrator.

Agree with the Cowboys thing. Perhaps we can bundle them with the Eagles, Forty Niners, and
Patriots.

[Dr. Strange]

37. Hey now.

There would be more donuts if you chipped in once in a while!

I've been a little short on change due to having to replace all of the signs that LynneSin keeps posting with her stapler.

Lighten up on the acid! The Muzak system was repossessed two years ago for lack of payment.

Really? What the hell have I been hearing in here then?

See HopeHoops about the "no pants" rule. He is the Administrator.

I refuse to talk to HopeHoops until he puts his pants back on.

Agree with the Cowboys thing. Perhaps we can bundle them with the Eagles, Forty Niners, and
Patriots.

I agree; motion carries. From hence forward, no discussion and/or mention of the Cowboys, Eagles, Forty Niners, and
Patriots. So it is written, so it shall be.

[ohiosmith]

38. "I refuse to talk to HopeHoops until he puts his pants back on. "

[OriginalGeek]

52. America's team will not be throttled!

well, except for by Seattle. So far.

Just because I think Jerry Jones is a dink who needs to write checks and shut up doesn't mean I don't lurve my Cowboys.


Actually, Tampa did a pretty good job of choking us out too but not quite good enough.



I bet the nachos at Cowboys Stadium are better than the nachos at other stadiums.


And always pie.

[A Simple Game]

86. Because the Cowboys beat the Giants in New Jersey the first week,

nothing else matters.

Go Cowboys!!!

[arcane1]

29. Make it clothing-optional?

[nolabear]

34. It's NOT clothing optional?

[TrogL]

53. It was last time I checked

Sorry, don't have a picture handy to post.

[libodem]

39. Get rid of that flocked wall paper

And take down those long red velvet drapes. It's dark in here.

[pink-o]

43. Oscar Wilde's dying words...

"Either that wallpaper goes or I do."

The flocked wallpaper stayed.

[HappyMe]

46. Hey, ladies 'of a certain age'

prefer lower lights.

[nolabear]

55. You're right. It's HARD looking at those old men all the time.

[HappyMe]

57. LOL!

Well played!

[libodem]

72. I think we should keep the Elvis on velvet painting

The poker dogs gotta go!

[Taverner]

42. Serve Long Island Ice Tea

[ohiosmith]

66. The ice maker is on the fritz!

[mikeytherat]

44. Add a coffee bar, and how 'bout some new sex toys in the Pleasure Chest?

Not too much to ask for, really.

mikey_the_rat

[In_The_Wind]

63. A good cuppa coffee might help.

[img][/img]

[Dr. Strange]

65. We don't have a "pleasure chest". Are you talking about the tool box in the hot tub room?

Last edited Fri Sep 28, 2012, 08:14 PM - Edit history (1)

Aw crap, is that why the hammer is always sticky? Damn you mikey_the_rat!

[libodem]

75. ewww

I gotta wear gloves to touch anything around here. No wonder we can't have nice things in the lounge. Is that the DU2's old mods hot tub. We always be the hand-me-downs.

[mikeytherat]

99. flashlight...fleshlight. Just one letter makes a whole heap of difference.

mikey_the_rat

[bluedigger]

48. The towels are threadbare and scratchy.

Let's get some of those new plush ones, and robes, too! (The robes are mostly for HH.)

[fizzgig]

56. the lounge feels a lot more closed off than in the past

in the beginning i rarely ventured outside of the lounge, but over the last few years i've spent less and less time here.

the lounge is much nicer (as in less mean) than it used to be in that there doesn't seem to be multiple groups of people constantly trying to out shitbag one another, but that hasn't translated into being a more welcoming group. i have never been terribly popular, but i knew what would get replies. but now i barely get replies for lounge bread and butter material. there have been some exceptions - loungers were wonderful about reading about the fire we had here this spring and are always kind on anniversaries/birthdays - but i feel like i must be pretty uninteresting.

part of me honestly doesn't give a shit, i talk to people in other groups, but the lounge had its genuinely fun moments where everyone was having fun and no one was being a shithead. someone upthread said to have more people post, but i think they may be like me and not even bother. it has nothing to do with cliques, i just can't put my finger on it right now.

anyway, this is not a huge woe is me post, my point is that maybe we can all just start talking to each other a bit more.

[ohiosmith]

67. Good post!

[fizzgig]

87. thanks

feels weird being serious in the lounge

[seabeyond]

70. a decade older. we are all a decade older. lol. that matters. nt

[fizzgig]

88. that's the truth

[kayakjohnny]

85. Very well said...

You just saved me a lot of typing.

Thanks for your insight and your way with words and thoughts.

[fizzgig]

89. it's actually something i've been thinking about quite a bit lately

i'm glad to know other people feel the same.

[Rambis]

59. Topless Greeters

[ohiosmith]

69. We had them until MFM, geardaddy, and Dr. Strange went on strike.

[hibbing]

61. Long time lounger

Hi,
Been a member for 9? years and I don't post much, but have hung out in the Lounge the vast majority of my time on DU. The drama has come and gone and I am sure will continue to come and go. I read topics I find interesting and reply sometimes, I am going to try to reply more. I do think welcoming new members is always a good thing. I also think thanking someone for starting a thread you find interesting is important. Just my thoughts.

On a side note, getting a "Dear" from California Peggy was when I felt welcomed the most, (even though she does it with everyone!)

Peace

[Sky Masterson]

71. Free Weed

[Dr. Strange]

79. We have weed.

It's kudzu. And it's going places.

[ohiosmith]

81. Who is Weed?

[Warren DeMontague]

73. You must acknowledge that THE GRATEFUL DEAD is the greatest band of ALL TIME

Then, maybe, i will deign to visit

[Tsiyu]

90. I thought it was THE CLASH!!!!!!!1111!!1!!!!11!11

And JOE STRUMMER IS GOD!!!!!!!


I can't keep up...............jeez......

[Warren DeMontague]

96. Aye, but even Joe Strummer was a Deadhead

so, do the math.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

76. pot brownies and cold milk

[LiberalEsto]

83. Free snacks and Happy Hours nt

[kentauros]

95. More LOUNGE music!!!

[Duppers]

98. when someone asks a question

An attempt should be made to answer.

So, yours is an excellent question, especially since I've gotten a cold shoulder from the lounge in-crowd the few times I've posted.

I still enjoy reading but refrain from posting for that reason.

Thanks for trying to make this a more welcoming place.

[ohiosmith]

100. Good point!

Thank you Duppers.

[klook]

102. First off, your post is full of grammatical errors...

Just kidding!

I've never really "hung out" in the Lounge, but have responded to a number of posts here and often lurked in the Lounge threads with amusement.

Obviously, a number of frequent lounge posters have become each other's buddies, and so a newcomer or infrequent visitor can feel like an outsider -- but the Loungeketeers seem generally friendly and fun.

As in so many areas of life, the secret, young Grasshopper, is: Lighten up. (Actually, it would also be a great idea to Tighten Up.)

I think it helps to abandon self-consciousness and paranoia when you enter the lounge, and just assume it's for goofing around. Enjoy it for what it is, and don't worry if you aren't invited to the cool kids' lunch table.

And if you don't enjoy it, hey -- explore other areas of DU or do something else that will enrich your life more.

[ohiosmith]

104. Good post!

Have you seen the cafeteria? You wouldn't want to eat in there! Cool kids' table or otherwise.

[LiveNudePolitics]

105. Loosen up your buttons,

is exactly what we all should do. I agree with ya there, just chill, its the lounge! As soon as I see someone nitpicking, I lose all interest in reading the rest of their post.
The loungers have been aces with me, I have no complaints!