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Thu Sep 13, 2012, 12:43 PM

I have been reprimanded for "swearing" too much at work.

This is an office environment in which my voice is not audible to the occasional customer on anyone else's phone. But with multiple computer applications and not-infrequent system glitches to deal with, I am wont to utter the occasional "crap", "dammit", "shit", or "fudge" (literally, I say "fudge", not "fuck"). I never use f-bombs or sex-related words.

Apparently histrionic fits of coughing and sneezing, and loud fits of laughing are perfectly OK.

Please help me find some appropriate "expletives" to vent my frustrations.

47 replies, 3487 views

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Reply I have been reprimanded for "swearing" too much at work. (Original post)
LeftinOH Sep 2012 OP
rug Sep 2012 #1
whistler162 Sep 2012 #2
Angry Dragon Sep 2012 #3
whistler162 Sep 2012 #5
LiberalFighter Sep 2012 #35
Angry Dragon Sep 2012 #38
HereSince1628 Sep 2012 #4
hobbit709 Sep 2012 #6
HereSince1628 Sep 2012 #29
Art_from_Ark Sep 2012 #34
MiddleFingerMom Sep 2012 #7
ohiosmith Sep 2012 #9
Major Nikon Sep 2012 #32
7wo7rees Sep 2012 #39
benld74 Sep 2012 #8
hay rick Sep 2012 #10
sharp_stick Sep 2012 #11
sendero Sep 2012 #45
Downwinder Sep 2012 #12
blueamy66 Sep 2012 #13
Ikonoklast Sep 2012 #14
blueamy66 Sep 2012 #25
Ikonoklast Sep 2012 #26
geardaddy Sep 2012 #15
MrsBrady Sep 2012 #16
sakabatou Sep 2012 #17
davsand Sep 2012 #18
MiddleFingerMom Sep 2012 #19
OriginalGeek Sep 2012 #20
pipi_k Sep 2012 #27
wendylaroux Sep 2012 #21
pokerfan Sep 2012 #22
JustABozoOnThisBus Sep 2012 #23
Iggo Sep 2012 #42
HopeHoops Sep 2012 #24
MicaelS Sep 2012 #28
undeterred Sep 2012 #30
TwilightGardener Sep 2012 #31
noamnety Sep 2012 #33
LiberalFighter Sep 2012 #36
tanyev Sep 2012 #37
fbguy_144 Sep 2012 #40
Iggo Sep 2012 #41
a kennedy Sep 2012 #43
AsahinaKimi Sep 2012 #44
AnneD Sep 2012 #46
Mopar151 Sep 2012 #47

Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 12:46 PM

1. Egad!

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 12:48 PM

2. Well there is....

shazbat or blatheringblatherskite, but you might turn into a duck in a supersuit with that one.

You could yell ryan but that would probably get you fired for uttering a really nasty 4 letter word!

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 12:48 PM

3. MITT

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Response to Angry Dragon (Reply #3)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 12:50 PM

5. Like yelling RYAN that would problably get the OP

fired for uttering a really vial four letter word.

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Response to Angry Dragon (Reply #3)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:32 PM

35. Don't you mean mittwit?

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Response to LiberalFighter (Reply #35)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:47 PM

38. Mitt and Ryan are four letter swear words

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 12:48 PM

4. I recommend staying away from "oops!" or things that sound similar

such throaty utterances suggest personal mistakes.

Management and your team won't accept you making regular mistakes.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 01:03 PM

6. Learn to cuss in Russian.

Dermo is a useful word.

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Response to hobbit709 (Reply #6)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 07:54 PM

29. Yeb Voss!

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Response to hobbit709 (Reply #6)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:21 PM

34. Or Boris Badenov's trademark swear word

Raskolnikov!

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 01:06 PM

7. Believe it or not, I don't like swearing at work at all.

.
.
.
I dislike hearing it as a customer... and I dislike it in or at ANYWHERE that
people more or less have to be -- like work or commuting on the bus.
.
.
.
I was in a grocery store several days ago and saw/heard what looked to
be about a 12-year-old shopping with her mother calmly saying "It's NOT
fucking two dollars, it's fucking $1.25."
.
.
.
Give up much, Mom?
.
.
.

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Response to MiddleFingerMom (Reply #7)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 01:15 PM

9. Agreed. I always had a zero tolerance policy when it came to profanity in the workplace.

No so much at home.

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Response to MiddleFingerMom (Reply #7)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:13 PM

32. We cuss like sailors where I work

This includes the women and the men. We don't deal with customers directly.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #32)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 09:19 PM

39. Same here

Where I work, triple X is rated R.

We have music blaring: "F that! F that!" by Kid Cudi.



My co-workers are always swearing, even tho we are all on the phone with customers.

Customers don't hear much, because of ambient noise dampeners in the headsets, but the music is not the only exposure to F-bombs we get. The bosses are real sharp in not dropping it, but the employees are straight sailors.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 01:10 PM

8. Monkey vomit!

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 01:17 PM

10. Shoot.

Substitute for shit obviously. Encountered this a lot while living in West Virginia, many years ago.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 01:30 PM

11. Kind of out of left field

wrt your original post but when I was in college I used to work as a drywaller during the summers. Over that three month period I would always pick up the most colorful vocabulary that was pretty much standard when some dummy dropped a sheet on your toe or when you managed to cut a sheet the wrong way.

I had to be very careful when I got back to school. One year I was in a chem lab first week or two back and I screwed something up. I didn't even realize what I said but according to others in the room it was a pretty epic condemnation of chemists and chemistry through history.

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Response to sharp_stick (Reply #11)

Fri Sep 14, 2012, 07:15 AM

45. You know..

... sans examples your post is REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 02:22 PM

12. I used "Bush" and "Son of a Bush" for a number of years.

It is four letter and fits in various applications. Could probably try "Mitt" but it does not have that ring to it.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 02:24 PM

13. That's funny, cause I just had a job interview and

 

the owner of the company that interviewed me said fuck 3 times, flipped the bird, said shit a few times, damn, etc.

I love this company!!!!!

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Response to blueamy66 (Reply #13)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 02:46 PM

14. Your employer is a fifteen year old?

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Response to Ikonoklast (Reply #14)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 04:23 PM

25. Not my employer yet....just an interview

 

Sorry, but I swear like a sailor and felt comfortable with her.

She's down to earth, doesn't seem to be fake and says what she wants to.

Heck, I'd love to work for her.

Couldn't be too bad, ya know? With that huge rock on her finger and the Mercedes shes drives.....

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Response to blueamy66 (Reply #25)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 04:42 PM

26. I'd run from that one just as fast as I could, just my own opinion, mind you.

I am not impressed by displays of wealth by anyone.

Even less so by a potential employer.

To me, that would be a giant red flag.



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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 02:59 PM

15. Say, "oh dear!" like an old lady.

See how long they'll tolerate that.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 03:07 PM

16. I use

Jiminy Cricket

I work with kids...and this is my go to word now inside and outside the class room.

I can't slip up at work. Not allowed. So I say it all the time now.


on edit: cheese and crackers! works well too.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 03:09 PM

17. Every time you wanna swear, use "kuso."

Dunno if anyone at work knows Japanese.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 03:30 PM

18. Oh my stars and garters!

Works for my 82 year old mom for most things...



Laura

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 03:36 PM

19. Another exception is any of the branches of service, though after being...

.
.
.
... overseas mainly in the company of other men, we were all genuinely concerned
that we were going to go home to our families and unthinkingly ask Grandma to
pass the fucking butter.
.
.
.
Serious concern.
.
.
.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 03:52 PM

20. When I was in my early twenties (The late 80s)

I worked at a boat manufacturer installing furniture and appliances into the shells of small luxury yachts...My station was at the back of the line where I was pretty much by myself as I operated a large crane to get the heads and other cabinetry placed into the hull and we really only needed me.

Banging and hammering and smashing where pretty ordinary and a lot of times it was my fingers and toes getting smashed and one time I let loose a loooooooooooong OWWWWGODDAMMITSONOFAFUCKINGBITCHMOTHERFUCKERFUCKFUCKFUCK....after a pretty good smack to my hand.

About the time I finished I looked up from the bottom of the hull to see the president of the company's wife and 3 or 4 of her garden club/ladies auxilliary/whatever they were friends up on the catwalk that ran along my line. They had their mouths open in shock and she got a very stern expression on her face and they stomped off to the next station on the line without even acknowledging my feeble apologies...

I immediately went to the building supervisor and told him I think I might have a problem and explained what happened. He thought for second and said "Well goddamn, if she didn't wanna fucking hear language like that she shoulda given us a fucking warning she would be strolling through..this is a goddamn manufacturing line!...How's your hand?"

My hand was alright and so was I. But I never saw her near my line again.

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Response to OriginalGeek (Reply #20)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 05:07 PM

27. hahahaha! great story! n/t

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 03:53 PM

21. "Ohh Fiddle Sticks!"

that's what granny always said,you could tell she meant something else though.:chuckle

Or use Gus Chiggens words=="Ahhh Biscuits and Gravy!"

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 04:11 PM

22. There's a South Park for this

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 04:13 PM

23. Oh, codswallop!

No clue what it means, but it sounds good.

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Response to JustABozoOnThisBus (Reply #23)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 09:37 PM

42. I always assumed it meant a kick in the dick.

Like getting walloped in the cod(piece).

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 04:15 PM

24. Fuck that shit.

 

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 05:39 PM

28. Just keep saying "George Carlin" over and over

You know the seven words you can't say on television?

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:01 PM

30. Your computer is totally "horked up".

The "friggin" operating system is 12 years old.

That whole project turned into a "dustercluck".

Once you start substituting you get used to it...

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:03 PM

31. D'oh! Always worked for me.

(and Homer)

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:13 PM

33. "Awesome" works for me.

The cursing is implied if it's said with enough sarcasm.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:37 PM

36. Make up your own words.

I use sheda.

Sometimes dinwad. That probably wouldn't fly as well.

Or you could do some humming or non word vocals to settle yourself down or even anytime you want to feel better.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 08:38 PM

37. Learn some curse words in a different language.

Most good 'Murrkans will never know.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 09:29 PM

40. soot?

 

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 09:35 PM

41. Sacre bleu! Zounds! God's wounds!

Heavens to Murgatroid! Caca!

And my personal fave: What the deuce?!?!?

Also, "deuced" (pronounced "dew-sed") can also be used in place of danged or damned. As in "Which one of you pen stealers stole my deuced pen?"

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Thu Sep 13, 2012, 10:38 PM

43. my favorite now is rats!!

Was my sisters favorite, she passed away of melanoma cancer 2 years ago, so in memory of her, it is now my favorite.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2012, 06:17 AM

44. You could swear in another language..

Find an obscure language.. (I would stay away from French, Spanish, Chinese) ...though it might be fun to swear in Chinese! Maybe Greek, or Ethiopian !

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Response to AsahinaKimi (Reply #44)

Fri Sep 14, 2012, 04:57 PM

46. One reason I liked the series Firefly....

they swore in Chinese. It is hysterical.

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Response to LeftinOH (Original post)

Fri Sep 14, 2012, 06:19 PM

47. Channel the Stooges

Settle down, you! OOOOHH! Wiseguy!!!

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